Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Ask DB1: My Sister’s Dating a Choad


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DB1-

My Little sister recently became of age and has been partying a lot lately. I’m okay with that. I just can’t figure out how to stop her from partying with douchebags? It’s like a disease or mental illness of some sort that she must have! Any pointers on this would be much appreciated.

Signed,
Actual Bro

PS. my sisters the middle girl.
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Firstly, A.B., let me compliment your sister on her sweet smile, and her excellent choice of female friends for future pillow fights and massage oil experiments during sophomore year after they take “Postmodern Feminism” and read Halberstam. Also, Ubiquitous Red Cup is on the scene, and monitoring the situation.

My advice is for your sister to begin reading HCwDB immediately. Only then will she begin to identify the many stages and permutations of the modern scrote fungus.

And, of course, I offer personal counseling sessions in my living room for all fertile hot chicks trying to reorient their reality away from dating choadscrote. In which complimentary Night Train and HoHos will be provided. And where I teach my latest Kundalini yoga meditative breathing and stretching exercise, “Awkward Groping Dog.”

# posted by douchebag1

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