Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Ask DB1: Techno Music — Auto-Douche?

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DB1-

I am an athlete (cyclist) and discovered a great electro-house song that really gets me pumped up for training in these dark winter months outside.

I youtubed it since i am also a cheap college student so I wouldn’t have to download it. After listening to it a couple of times I noticed that the YouTube account that uploaded it was “XxxEdHardy.” I immediately closed the browser, and realized although i associated the song with kicking ass during racing, it now had this distinct taint that I cannot remove.

Are all songs ruined when used/associated with the cultural blight known as “The Douche?” As an athlete good training songs are based on the beat, and not who uses them.I am confused.

What does DB1 say about the music?
-Island Douche

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This is an excellent question, I.D., as music can serve different functions in very different settings. For instance, the Twin Peaks soundtrack and Mazzy Star only appear on my iTunes after attempts to seduce the hott using bottles of Night Train and assorted tasty Hostess cupcakes have failed. They are not what we would term recreational music. Instead they function as the soundtrack for hotts storming out of my hovel and slamming the door on me after I awkwardly love-hump their coats while they’re in the bathroom.

But I digress.

Douche music often consists of what I term “Roid Beat.” Sped-up techno meant to help juiced up toolbags “get some.” Therefore I cannot automatically dismiss the use of such music as part of training regimen, as it would actually serve a useful function.

However, should you use such music when “gettin’ game on” before going out, or in any way analogize the act of physical exercize with preparing to “rage,” you immediately lose all exemption and are classified as scrote.

# posted by douchebag1

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