Monday, January 11, 2010

HCwDB of the Week

Another solid HCwDB of the Week for your parsification. With three couplings of toxicity that each deserve merit/mock, it’s a tough choice. Here’s your finalists:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Gnome Chompsky and Hottnah Arendt

I’m not convinced this is one of HCwDB’s legendary Oompa Prompas, Tall Prompa. But it’s certainly possible. Orange Guidosity does tend to blend into one giant ball of hair grease.

However, without further evidence, I’m giving Gnome Chompsky and Hottnah their shot.

She is delightful, young adult debutante intellectual ass pear.

He is the leading academic expert on the linguistic circulations of meaning in the contested space of power relations and poo.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: The Pud Brothers and Lisa

First appearing as a double-douche mack on the sexy and confused Lisa, The Pud Brothers come complete with matching sunglasses and kissy lips.

They are classic HCwDB, proving that the ‘bag peak of 2007 still leaves turd floaters in its wake.

Continuing to hit on poor Lisa, Rogue Leader eventually broke from the pack to fly solo, continuing on in a Friday Thoughts and Links post, before learning to count to three while hitting on Barely Legal Chandra. Actually that may have been Rogue #2 in one of those pics. Like the Prompas, these turds look the same.

That’s some serious run of uberdouche in presence of hott.

But are the Pud Brothers, being as they are such classic douchebag, enough of 2010-era taint to take the prize?

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Supermang and Lois

God damn this is a tough Weekly. Our third hottie/douchey coupling not only brings quality uber-hottness to the game, but “69” hat tilt and ginormous watch.

The ‘Mang followed up his hitting on the sexy Lois by macking on Lana in a Friday Haiku.

Or maybe Lana is Lois in disguise. Everyone’s confusing me this morning. Heck, I can barely affix postage stamps. I blame the cheap but delicious Hostess products.

Lois is all that’s glorious about bicameral reproduction. Her belly doesn’t just ask me to “pooch” upon it. It tasks me. It demands that I go “pweeeeeeee!!!” in a loud ass-noise way.

The hardest cut of all was leaving Ass Tea off the list, as Private School Claire was delightful and those chin pubes were rank. Maybe I’ll slip him into the next Weekly if I can. The Guppy just missed the cut due to potential Halloweeny-ness, but Belly Dancer Jessica will haunt my dreams for many a fortnight.

So them’s your three. We’ve got Oompa Prompa level Orange Guid. Classic kissy lips Party Pud. And Southern fratdouche. All with high quality hotties.

Which of the three should win this week’s HCwDB of the Week?

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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