Thursday, February 25, 2010

Ask DB1: Midwestern Barbaggery


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Dear DB1,

It appears that the douchebaggery of the world has invaded the midwest, which up until this point has been pretty low on the bagger-scale, corrupting those I considered friends into tight v-neck wearing, diamonds in the ears, hat tilted, tribal tatted, tanning bed inhabiting, grade A douches.

It seems that the “everybody’s doing it” mentality of the douchebag has convinced my friends and acquaintances that it is okay to do so.

What can I do to convince them that it’s ruining their lives by living this ed hardy infested world? My methods don’t seem to be working and I come to you for your expert opinion.

Thanks in advance –
-BarBag-91

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Cultural spread of the douchepocalypse can only be resisted through the power of the collective societal mock, BB91. Once douches face massive ridicule for their silly hair, tight t-shirts, douche-face and hat tilt, only then will they stop.

Ed Hardy jokes, delivered in a sarcastic tone and from a safe distance in the direction of douches hitting on hot chicks, will begin to help alleviate the problem. From there, move on to cracks about gel and hair spike. Then hit on their girlfriend when they’re in the bathroom.

# posted by douchebag1

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