Monday, February 8, 2010

HCwDB of the Week

Congrats to the New Orleans Saints and all that. But we got work to do people. There are schroads licking perfectly tasty hottness as we speak. They must be mocked. And by mocked, I mean categorized. And then mocked. Here’s your finalists:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: The Quizzical Hemorrhoid and Princess Lickmah

The Q.H. is one of those rare partybags. The type who amazingly manages to make the same stupid douche-face in every pic.

Even when popping a squat or makin’ the party pile.

His greased up Eurotaint is garbagian in its poocrappery.

Yeah, I said both “garbagian” and “poocrappery” in the same sentence.

Up yours, Merriam and Webster.

Mmmm… Euro hottness….

Princess Suckle Thigh is quality Italian-French hybridity. I blame her for the 100 years war. In my pants.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: The Double Flush, aka Fists of Poo

About time we get some classic Vegas douche-poo back up on the site.

Here we have two extremely sweet, high quality, hot chicks.

They’re smiling.

They desire the DB1 to gnaw on their ankles.

And for that, I would buy them each a car.

And then we have two Vegas “Fists of Poo.” Tatted up, greased up, large watch and sunglasses wearing crappogians.

But what takes this pic to Weekly status?

The Sideburns Money Clip ™. As seen on TV.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Yellow Lips and Sophomore Karen

At first, these two may seem unlikely HCwDB of the Week contestants.

Look again.

They may not be over the top hottie/douchey spectacle. But for real world Frat assholitry, Yellow Lips earns his slot in the Weekly.

Note Y.L.’s shirt print, nuclear sunglasses, chest reveal and masterful Kissy Lips.

Top it off with some crappy Busch beer, and this is a Frat party poor Sophomore Karen will be in therapy for years trying to forget.

And Sophomore Karen more than holds up her end of the real-world sexy sultry, hottness. With barely any makeup on, she’s already quality sweets.

I would gnash angrily on her childhood teddy bear, “Boo,” with my teeth until she called campus security and had me escorted off the premises.

(Dis)honorable mention to Slick James, Sticks McHead, Mopey the Beanstalk, the weirdness of Alice in Choaderland and the uber-hottness of Sun Sandra (see you at the Douchies, my dear) and The ‘Bag Face.

But three couplings may enter. Only one may (de-)ascend. Which?

Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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