Monday, February 15, 2010

HCwDB of the Week

Your humble narrator is completing a relaxing weekend in S.F. as we gear up for the premiere of Season #2 of Is She Really Going Out With Him? today (and every weekday) at 6pm on MTV.

The tiny, bouncy, curvy S.F. hotties are pure champagne supernova. And for that, we celebrate with cilantro.

But I am not here just to pimp my show and praise the S.F. hotts. I am here to give you your weekly finalists. Because that’s what I do. Here they is:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: David Crapperfield and Rachel

Absurdist 19th Century dress-up would normally be too costume-y to fall into a true douche category.

But D.C.’s guyliner, Mr. T bling and ridic tatts are classic schlord. So he makes the cut.

And Rachel is hot, naughty, delights in pillow spankings, and hates her parents for never acknowledging her early interest in dance.

Thus, a Weekly is born.

And by born, I mean leather wrist-sleeves and an ab tumor so potent it just ate Cincinnati.

Also, Rache’s shoulder is gnaw.

Not just any gnaw.

Uber-gnaw.

I would gnaw.

Mole.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Tony Crapachino and Elle, Sue and Jen

From the Friday Haiku comes this pic of three squeaky clean tasty All-American hott burgers and one greasy side order of fries.

‘Bout time we got a little “Wild n’ Crazy Guy” retro toolery all up in this place.

The ladies are classic real-world hottness.

The kind you stutter and stammer over, then make out in the car. Then praise Vishnu and sacrifice a goat to Ganesh just for the pleasure of fondling her outer thighs.

Tony Crapachino tapdances on twaddle.

And you can quote me on that.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Marco Chinholio and Charo, aka Fake Doogie Poo

A bit overlooked when it first ran, Marco Chinholio is all that is creep-taint about global toad.

Charo is all that is curvy smirking smugness that you’d put up with in the vain hope of a brief yet primal fully-clothed hump by the bathrooms at 2:17 am.

Truthfully, M.C wouldn’t have had a shot except that I’m convinced that if you stare at that chin fung long enough, you’ll see the face of Gary Busey.

And who am I to mess with the face of Gary Busey?

Add in the cartoon penguin dog-tag, and it’s Weekly worthy indeed. (Dis)honorable mention to Billy Barue Bores Bethany, Chia Guido (with uber-hott blonde), the whiny takedownery of Monchichi and the roided up pecs of Arm Phalli.

But only three may enter. And only one toxic coupling may rise to the top (bottom).

Which of the three? Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

Leave a Reply

What is 4 + 8 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)