Monday, February 22, 2010

HCwDB of the Week

This was one of the toughest weeks to cull down to a final three. The selections of Hottie/Douchey cohabit were excellent (awful), and we have three worthy finalists for your consideration.

Which will rise to the top (bottom) of the choad/boobie pile? That’s, of course, up to you.

Your finalists:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Grillzilla

Grillz.

Gilded bling from way back in the late 00s. The age of excess.

Before the Fall.

If anything crystallizes the “ballers” rollin’ into the clubs dressed like brand name labeled peacocks of the consumer age, it’s Grillz.

Toss in the sleeveless Affliction, bling and douche-hat, and Grillzilla is all that is toxic in Tupelo.

Lady Gwendolyn is sweet, pure, giggly and with high pitched, sonorous voice that suggests lutes and malls with sales going on in them.

I would act interested in hearing about her plans to open a line of shoe stores for children. And then I would hickey her shoulder.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: The Brohawk

To paraphrase the great Buggin’ Out to Sal, we need more brothabags up on this wall.

Brothabag Corky brings true uber-‘bag to the game.

Club greased hair. Chin pubes. Douche-face. Bling.

While it’s true that Viola prefers not to use two syllable words and can’t quite determine a proper dress size, her sultry stare and pink lipstick suggest a raunch factor that deserves applause from all who witness.

And many have witnessed.

Add up the fact this mugging is taking place in a Love Shack waystation on the outskirts of the village where Number Six struggles on a daily basis to determine who is Number One, and it’s a worthy entry.

And I see you, pouty Brunette with wonderful curvature sitting down over there. Just pretend I’m not here, and I’ll only lightly fondle for a few minutes. Then go off to sleep in the cellar

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Dimples O’Sagg and Kelly Hott

Making the third selection this week was not easy.

But I went for the hottness and Kelly Hott as my deciding factor. For she is uber-gnaw.

Not that there isn’t an overpowering ‘bagitude from Dimps. Just that Kelly Hott brings the pain in this worthy coupling.

Dimples brings the white trash kitchen. The spikey pyramid faux. And the pants sag + douche belt that deserve nothing but scorn.

Finally, who drinks Corona Light?

This was such a strong week, I didn’t even include what I thought were sure finalists, Shmecky O and Tracy Hott, as well as Fishlips McSack, Guido the Killer Pimp and The Wizard of Noz.

And while Federico Fellini’s ‘La Douche Vida’ will definitely be up for a 2010 Douchie Award for the Guggenheim HCwDB exhibit (as Troy Tempest suggested), too much Paid-to-Pose eliminates them.

Which of these three deserves to be HCwDB of the Week?

I want you. No. I need you. Vote, as always, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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