Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Absolut Douche


Yeah. Not sure about the new ad campaign, Absolut.

# posted by admin
11:22 pm March, 30 End the Haberdouchery said...

I don't know, I think the "Buy a Bottle, Get a Bright Red Casio G-Shock" isn't a bad marketing ploy.

11:26 pm March, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

"Buy one bottle, get two orange skanks free."

11:28 pm March, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

The guy in the back looks the way this pic makes me feel.

11:31 pm March, 30 Chad Kroegespeare said...

I have never held a beverage of any kind, nay a bottle, in a photo op. For employment and legal reasons.

Nor have I ever sought to be in a photo as the new and semi-new generations do with great talent and hand gestures. If I am not remembered in peoples heads, fuck off.

As the Bard once said, All the world is a stage, and these people are assturd clown douchemonkeys.

11:34 pm March, 30 Douchie Howser, M.D. said...

As alluded to by Ms. Oblongata, this is, in fact, a promotional photo for the new line of "Sad Hardy" apparel, being modeled by the melancholic model in the background.

11:38 pm March, 30 Bagnonymous said...

Dude.. behind you… the greatest thing I've… ever… Aww nevermind, you nutface. You and your Lady G-Shock watch probably wouldn't appreciate it anyway.

Girls–my room is available, if you'd like a little more privacy. Just follow me. This way please… What's that, you say? The camera on the dresser with the blinking red light? Oh, don't worry about it. The blinking red light means that the battery is low. Yup. So just go on into my room and lick each other's brains out.

11:44 pm March, 30 Douchie Howser, M.D. said...

If this were an ad, the tagline:

Abolut. No less douchey than Goose.

11:44 pm March, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Ass Choad: "Check me out 'bro, I'm rockin' the Absolut! Fuck ya!"

Guy in Black Shirt: "Um, dude, your dignity is slinking away on the floor faster than that 3 iron Elin swung at Tiger's head."

11:44 pm March, 30 Fatness said...

Poor dude in the back. The club should really do something about those pigeons above the door.

11:54 pm March, 30 DarkSock said...

Guy in the back is taking an Absolut piss on the carpet.

12:02 am March, 31 Wedgie said...

Brunette assumes classic "feed me" position. Neither of these clowns appears up the the challenge. Nice going, boys.

Too bad, she's kinda tasty. In that Rachael Hottowitz way, which is appropriate, since today is Passover.

Oy, time for this Goyum to have a martini. But I'll be drinking Ketel, since pusbucket here has ruined Absolut for me forever.

12:03 am March, 31 Bob said...

The sign of a true d-bag: hotts are starting to make out, but when the camera comes out to immortalize the moment, he assumes it's all about him.

I want to smash his little red watch. Smash it right in front of him. And he'll watch, wide eyed, as I do it, and start to cry. And I'll say to him, "That's for getting in the way of a perfectly good picture of half drunk chicks making out. Maybe next time… aw, who am I kidding? You won't learn."

Then I'll take away his girlie drink, and he'll cry some more.

12:09 am March, 31 Douchie Howser, M.D. said...

Brunette awaits my palpation examination of her tonsils by my most-sensitive-of-instruments.

12:22 am March, 31 Mitch Cumstein said...

In this tough economic climate, it looks like even the 30K Millionaires are forced to trade down in the vodka category.

12:35 am March, 31 Snoop Douchey Bagg said...

Over the last 36 hours we've had about (and I am not exaggerating here) nine inches of rain.

My basement floor has a thin layer of water on it.

My yard is a giant mud pit.

Which will make it that much easier to dig a giant hole and bury this whole bloody useless lot in.

12:54 am March, 31 doucheywallnuts said...

I just think that the guy in the background was put into a trance from staring at the man in white's massive red swatch watch combined with the orange glow coming off of the brunette bleeth.

1:03 am March, 31 Justin said...

It looks like the guy in front, in an attempt to get in frame, shoulder checked the brunette and broke her upper back and neck by way of forced hyper-extension. He damn near decapitated her right in the middle of a hott lesbo kiss with a young Marcia Brady.

1:09 am March, 31 Troy Tempest said...

He's bent down, using a cruiser right now. He doesn't have time to do anything except makk on the hotts and drink.

1:47 am March, 31 boatbutter said...

Absolut Khoad.

1:50 am March, 31 Anonymous said...

I thought the thing was to pose with one's 'Goose in 2008,

as it was 18 years earlier to pose with one's Absolut.

Exchange student Yuri with his Commie G-Shock must still be back then, in some Russian-bread-line kinda-way.

Zee shovarr kaps, zey mayke ze goot kondomz, non?

No Yuri, in the western world, they certainly fucking Nyet.

Now at least pick up a bottle of 'Goose or Belvedere, ya damn Piker!

Leave that dang Absolut for the drunk cunnys who cain't taste no different, nohow, you Bog Galoot!

2:09 am March, 31 pv1 said...

I, too, saw the Absolut piece on 60 Minute two nights ago…

2:14 am March, 31 pv1 said...

Nice red watch. Does it come in men's?

2:15 am March, 31 Vin Douchal said...

These two babes made the same face Saturday night when when their Uncle Dwayne Peter Northed a half gallon of vanilla nut creamer of his own making on 'em ….

I saw it on the webcam.

True story

2:18 am March, 31 MG said...

he looks like he likes tough, un-chewable steak.

Army of Douche-ness

3:19 am March, 31 Denny DelVecchio said...

If you squint it appears as if the shadowy figure in the back is, in some way, violating Vic's appletini.

And all is good with the world.

Yours in Love,
Denny DelVecchio
yournewbadhabit.blogspot.com

4:10 am March, 31 Anonne Huntress said...

He looks like he's trying to pick his nose with his lips.

4:17 am March, 31 Troy Tempest said...

Free Press from a liberal blog.

5:38 am March, 31 Whoop-di-douche said...

Perhaps we can absolve them just this once for their complicit doucheosity.

Cuz it's Holy Week and all that.

7:45 am March, 31 Whoop-di-douche said...

Apparently the man in gray is an ABSOLUT GOOSE, er, uh, um, gander.

7:51 am March, 31 euripidouche said...

absolut vodka: if you're old enough to remember when we were top shelf, goddammit she's young enough to be your daughter, better make it a double.

8:32 am March, 31 Steve L. said...

those Tanqueray ads of Tony Sinclair were almost as douchey as Absolut Douche.

and that tells you just how douchey Absolut Douche is.

1:28 pm March, 31 Troy Tempest said...

Absolut is so 1986. Just like Stoli is so 1993. Everyone knows the best vodka for the $ is Luksusowa.

1:31 pm March, 31 Troy Tempest said...

I'm wondering if this is Joey Lips, only a more recent photo with a slightly different hair don't. Do an A-B. The eyes are in the same place, the nose is the same length and structure…

WHEEZER! Please rule on this. I call a dupe.

5:12 pm March, 31 Merle Baggard said...

Is that Chrystal? Where's Smoot?

5:58 pm March, 31 Southern Scrotic said...

Dammit, douche. Get out of the way.

I really want to know what blondie is doing to the brunette. She must be doing it right.

1:38 am April, 1 crazy one said...

both girls are actually legit… prob just smashed and taking a picture with a db

<3

1:38 am April, 1 crazy one said...

both girls are actually legit… prob just smashed and taking a picture with a db

<3

1:57 am April, 1 Queen Creep said...

Oh crazy that was very sweet of you.
Those girls are slamminggggg

2:01 am April, 1 Queen Creep said...

Queen Creep <3 Crazy one 4eva and eva and eva

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