Friday, March 12, 2010

Billy Twatwaffle Says: “Oi Mate! The Site’s Still in Progress.”

Another week or so before 2.0 launches. In the meantime, apologies again for all the font nuttiness and comments threads problems. The new comments threads will be much easier to navigate.

So while you’re hangin’, have a Stella from Billy Twatwaffle. Who’s from Australia. And wants to show you his Spidey underroos, even in the sitting position.

And feel bad for Lizzie Girl. Who’s sweet. But can get freaky when the moment is right.

And, because I care, even though it’s not quite time for Friday Ass Pear yet, have some Shadow Pear.

# posted by douchebag1
11:32 am March, 12 Bagnonymous said...

No worries–once Lämp gets ahold of Shadow Pear, all will be revealed!

I’m Bagnonymous and I approved this message.

11:38 am March, 12 baglanta said...

I want to see Lizzie’s underroos….

11:41 am March, 12 Lämp said...

**clicks on**

I Love Shadow Pear.

WordPress? Meh, The Jury Is Still Out. I Will Be Watching You Very, Very Closely Though.

**clicks off**

11:42 am March, 12 El Caganer said...

Lizzie is all kinds of cute. I’d stalk her.

11:45 am March, 12 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Technically speaking, that’ s some silhouette pear; which is waaaaaaay better than the mere shadow of an ass pear. One can’t pee in a shadow of a butt.

Well, maybe Dark Sock can pee in a shadow.

11:46 am March, 12 El Caganer said...

You can stick those new LED lights into some tight places.

11:47 am March, 12 doucheywallnuts said...

I’d like to put that shrimp on the barbie…

11:48 am March, 12 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Had Billy not lost his sight from huffing paint at the ripe old age of four, his mother would not be able to tell him he’s wearing “Crocodile Hunger” memorial underwear, and he would have been able to center the “rabbit ears” cleanly behind Stella’s head.

11:49 am March, 12 massengill said...

If they are in Australia, those Stella’s probably set that kid back $14.

11:49 am March, 12 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

She better get going on that bowl of viking yogurt. It spoils in the sun.

12:00 pm March, 12 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Oi! I’d like to go down under on ‘er!

I’d gladly toss my snag in ‘er barbie!

I’d flame ‘er bleeding crow ’til my gob gets dry as a dead dingo’s donger in the desert!

Crikey! She could flog a roo- Ah, forget it…

12:06 pm March, 12 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I hope that mixture of Elmers glue and donkey jizz in that cup is destined for Billy’s face. And then I hope she sticks it to the side of a very irritated elephant that goes on a terrifying rampage and has to be put down with several bursts from some FNH SCAR 17’s. “Cause I’m a humanitarian like that ya know.

12:15 pm March, 12 Fat, Drunk, and Douchey said...

Thanks, DB1, for the preview pear. Lights, shadows, and darkness. I’m sure it’s a metaphor for something but I ain’t that smart to figger it out yet. And Lizzie’s got some crazy dancing around behind those eyes. You can sense it.

12:29 pm March, 12 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Suddenly I have an urge to play this classic arcade game.

12:33 pm March, 12 Bagnonymous said...

@ Scrotato Head:

I offer that Lizzie’s not holding a bowl of viking yoghurt [sic], but rather a petri dish full of siemen [again.. sic] collected from an alpaca circle-jerk out back of DB1’s holding pen.

..Billy Twatwaffle’s about to get that plate o’ goo thrown at him like a Boston cream pie to the face.

(Heh heh, I said “cream pie”… )

12:34 pm March, 12 Bagnonymous said...

^ Apparently Dr. B-HD is about 27 minutes faster than me to the barnyard-animal-semen jokes.

12:40 pm March, 12 Vin Douchal said...

Can’t complain about his choice of beer. Can’t complain about his choice of hat. Can’t complain about his choice of girlfriend.

Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy holding his face in front of a Juggs pitching machine set to “11” spewing out Medieval mace balls

1:57 pm March, 12 tall guy said...

Initially I was captured’n’enraptured by the Lizard. However further inspection revealed the true nature of the skank. I’d still hit it, by which I mean I’d probably stand zero chance of coming within coo-ee of doing her. But I reckon those darkened eyes have had a fair bit of jism squirted in ’em. As for the idiot: well I’m Australian (greetings to all! This site is excellent and its contributors/responders make really great reading) and this guy is the local equivalent of a douche, which is known as a bogan. Sure it’s attempting an artsie look, and I guess madam assumes he’s a muso or photographer or something “creative” (yawn), but the little smartarse is totally douche and I want to smack him then slap him.

2:29 pm March, 12 Politely Stoned said...

There’s only one Ricky Hatton
One Ricky Hatton
Walking along
Singing this song
Walking in a Hatton wonderland.

3:38 pm March, 12 Euripidouche said...

i think it goes without saying that a beer achieves true stage 4 douche status when it changes the shape of its can to take on the profile of an energy drink.

dammit, have some dignity stella artois, i will never piss you into a horse or dumpster again! not even if it was left on my doorstep, and a freak accident had rendered me incapable of removing the snow from my walk and driveway by any other means than pissing it off….its just beneath you.

4:18 pm March, 12 Deltus said...

Lizzie? I throw another shrimp on her barbie.

5:07 pm March, 12 tall guy said...

…and, foreign beers are not really foreign in Australia as most of them are brewed locally under license. While our bogans love their [locally made] “foreign label beer, mate!”, our breweries are laughing all the way to the bank. Before this lark took off European beers were generally sold in 330ml bottles instead of the Aussie standard 375ml and even with the licensing fee, which obviously doesn’t takes up too much of their windfall, our breweries profit enormously thanks to the never ending bogan need to regularly communicate its sophistication, which in this case is by drinking beers from other countries.

And that shadow arse pear is the hotness!

5:41 pm March, 12 Whoop-di-douche said...

Billy is just plain silly.

Is Shadow Pear auditioning for a film noir?…, because she’s “got it” if she wants it.

7:12 pm March, 12 Euripidouche said...

the shadow asspear is officially known as an asspear, but she is neither sworn nor sealed, nor can she vote in the asspear congress…

now who wants gavel to gavel uncoverage of the asspear congress, even without the swearing and sealing of the shadow asspear?

10:19 pm March, 12 Medusa Oblongata said...

I was gonna say something clever, but shadow pear stole it from me. And I don’t mind.

10:28 pm March, 12 my friends call me @$$hole said...

christ on crutches i almost wish this tool WAS orange…

8:52 am March, 13 DarkSock said...

HCwDB 1.5 crushes Blogger’s taut hairless sac; I look forward to the Full Meal Deal coming up.

Shadow Pear makes me want to go into the light. The beautiful Dorito-shaped sprectral light.

9:09 am March, 13 DLRyan said...

The photographer of the Shadowpear is an artistic genius 😉 As is this phenemonal site that influenced such an endeavor 😉 Thank u DB1

12:07 pm March, 13 abdouchah the butcher said...

It would be my great pleasure to share a Stella Artois with this comely lass. And even partake in whatever that is in her hand [perhaps an oyster?] for an opportunity to have her undies on my floor the next day.

1:10 am March, 14 Steve L. said...

dark and sexy shadow pear. just how i like ’em. m-hmm…

1:11 am March, 14 Steve L. said...

by the by, Stella Artois’s reputation just took a hit. i guess it’s inevitable, but i’ve always believed that at least Stella’s ads had more class than your run of the mill Bud or Miller ads.

7:00 pm March, 14 Sorta Damocles said...

What a great shot of Shadowpear! The subtle lines of her back make me want to lick Drambuie from her erector spinalis. Contrasting with the bright Triangle of Happiness that is the mark of any great ‘pear makes for a fine composition. And by fine, I mean sploorrrt!

11:14 pm March, 14 teh_abominable_snowdouche said...

d’Bag mate.

12:13 pm March, 15 Bands Named After Genitals said...

She ain’t that hot.

12:09 pm March, 17 Darth said...

Again. She is not hot.

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