Thursday, March 18, 2010

Caption This Pic

The power of Joey’s chest sheen termporarily blinded Emily enough to cause her to collapse during the second chorus of “You Give Love a Bad Name” at “Karaoke Jovi” night at the Tube Bar.

# posted by douchebag1
10:27 am March, 18 jabbathebagger said...

What’s that between her legs? A mitten? A cylon?

10:28 am March, 18 Crucial Head said...

Charles was in charge of removing Joanie’s corpse from the club once her happy days of imbibing whole bottles of Goose had run its course.

10:29 am March, 18 Crucial Head said...

The couple was too inebriated to notice a crouching Crucial Head who was furtively eating a small box of Cherry flavored Nerd’s out of Meryl’s butthole.

10:30 am March, 18 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

The Bart Simpson acid is bad. I repeat. The Bart Simpson acid is bad. If you take it, don’t be surprised if you end up with your tongue hanging out of your mouth and some cromag carries you off to share with his cave mates.

10:31 am March, 18 Crucial Head said...

Edith’s face displayed the feelings in her bowels after she gnawed each one of Manny’s chest hairs off with her teeth.

10:32 am March, 18 Crucial Head said...

Lester lurked in the background, just thrilled that his chin-strap held the pate of his skull together after the recent surgery.

10:34 am March, 18 Crucial Head said...

Tricia expressed relief once the last few pounds of porch beef were expelled from her dialated birth canal.

10:37 am March, 18 Crucial Head said...

Nobody in the bar believed Cindy, until Hank picked her up and revealed the rhinceros asshole transplant success.

10:54 am March, 18 Deltus said...

Hoping that gravity would help to expel the lodged dildo from her, Emily agreed to let Joey help with the extraction.

10:55 am March, 18 TheOneSalmon said...

After she had finished vomiting due to the red sheen of Frankie’s chest, Karen decided that she didn’t care what her friends thought.

10:59 am March, 18 Adolf Skroatler said...

She can’t stomach he’s ball stinch.

ASvB

10:59 am March, 18 Mr. White said...

“That’s pretty good, Cindy,” the photographer said. “I can see your cervix now, but something’s still missing. Maybe if you…yeah, that’s it. Let that tongue hang out.”

11:00 am March, 18 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I don’t have a caption. Her purse seems to be protruding from her vagina. I can’t get past that for some reason.

11:01 am March, 18 Adolf Skroatler said...

WTF, where’s my picture??

Is this the right site. Well f#ck me.

ASvB

11:02 am March, 18 Mr. White said...

Joey wanted to use one of those foil reflectors to help him tan his neck and chin, but he couldn’t find one, so he just used Cindy.

11:09 am March, 18 Bagnonymous said...

I, too, have no caption–I’m too busy wondering whether that purse is on it’s way into or out of her vagina. Either way’s cool with me. That, plus those legs have me in a trance, staring and drooling Schaivo style. (If I may borrow DB1’s analogy there.)

11:10 am March, 18 Mr. White said...

Joey was proud of his latest robot girlfriend design, but he was embarrassed to admit that he still couldn’t find the bug in the BallLick subroutines that prevented the bot from retracting her tongue.

11:11 am March, 18 El Queso said...

Wahoo dipshit Jonathan Antin from TV’s “Blow Out”, had no idea when he started dating Miley Cyrus that she’d secretly replaced the Hannah Montana in her downstairs with a phaser-wielding William Shatner.

Chinstrap McGee would never look at his nuts the same way again.

11:12 am March, 18 DarkSock said...

http://www.BarPurse.com; we shit great purses!

11:13 am March, 18 DarkSock said...

“Awright…this is a stickup…everyone get your hands on the bar where I can see them, and nobody gets shat at”.

11:14 am March, 18 DarkSock said...

As Joey made his way to the awaiting ambulance a drunken Cindy stammered excuses for the urinal mint stuck in her urethra.

11:15 am March, 18 DarkSock said...

The Dirrty Marteeni table-to-table service at Mr. White’s new bar was a big hit.

11:16 am March, 18 Bagnonymous said...

Joey mistakenly mis-read the invitation, and brought a “jump-off who-bag” to the “knock-off hand-bag” party.

..that’s all I’s gots, folks. Still too smitten with the non-bleethy suckle-thigh brunette. She can be my babysitter anyday.

I’m making no sense.

11:17 am March, 18 DarkSock said...

Vinnie’s minimal reading comprehension skills made his purchase of “How to Pick Up Chicks in a Bar” a disaster waiting to happen.

11:20 am March, 18 douchebag1 said...

Okay, I just promoted Dark Sock, Vin, Crucial, Steve and Scrotato to some form of promotion on WordPress which should give you all the ability to delete posts and keep the threads clean. It also lets you read my drafts-in-progress, but if you do that, it ruins the surprise. Let me know if this helps, or is just annoying, and I can reset the settings.

So confusing. I need some Mad Dog 20/20.

11:21 am March, 18 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Hey TOR, “Knock knock…”

11:21 am March, 18 douchebag1 said...

And if any of the other regs wants a bump, lemme know-

– management

11:24 am March, 18 DarkSock said...

I’m erasing every last vestige of Crucial Head from this website. Architects: There Can Be Only One.

11:26 am March, 18 fogleman said...

Carrying her over the threshold… of doucheness.

11:26 am March, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Young Gary Sinise rehearses for his leading role in CSI: NY, aka Cum Stain Ingester: Nordic Yodelers

11:28 am March, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

With great power comes BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Wait. If only I knew what to do with these alledged new access.

11:36 am March, 18 DarkSock said...

Thanks boss; once I find that Troll Zap button I will wear it out until a certain Troll either gives up or discovers masturbation.

11:36 am March, 18 Crucial Head said...

@DarkSock,

Wait. Stop… Don’t do iuhre834fyu234fg ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

*toot*

11:39 am March, 18 Crucial Head said...

Will this newfound power make sex with my wife like it was five years ago?

… wait.

I didn’t mean to type that out loud.

Where’s the delete button????

12:32 pm March, 18 doucheywallnuts said...

This look is so quaint…It has me longing for days when douchebaggery was a simpler look…Gelled hair, shaved chest, bad bling, open shirt. Really considering how the douchebag look has morphed into a total freak show, this guy almost is a nott-a-douche by comparison. Take the comparison between Grillzilla and Pretty Boy for example, which makes Pretty Boy here look preppy by comparison.

I don’ t know the point here, because it’s obviously not fodder for a caption.

How about, “Old School Douchebag, Still Taking out the Trash.”

12:33 pm March, 18 DarkSock said...

Just then, the drunk at the adjacent table awoke, looked up and said “Willie Nelson???”

12:48 pm March, 18 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

The date rape drug Joey scored on the skreet, but thought was fake, is finally kickin’ in.

1:00 pm March, 18 Medusa Oblongata said...

To paraphrase Homer Simpson…

“Time to fertilize the lawn. Hundred and fiflty pound bag oughta do it!”

1:24 pm March, 18 Crazed Aborigine said...

Here goes my first attempt at a comment on the new format.

“Imagine Joey’s embarrasment and chagrin when he found out that THIS wasn’t the type of ‘three hole punch’ he was supposed to bring to the office decorating party”

2:11 pm March, 18 Fat, Drunk, and Douchey said...

The Rohypnol-tini: the official state drink of New Jersey.

2:13 pm March, 18 DarkSock said...

“I thought it stood for ‘Bring Your Own Bitch'”…

2:25 pm March, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Miley immediately regretted giving up her sybian for the over-hyped Guido-matic 2000.

2:28 pm March, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The resounding ennui of the bar patrons did not deter Joey from trying to use Miley to make a tin foil hat that would stop the aliens from reading his mind.

2:29 pm March, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ Shit that was lame but at least I got “ennui” in it.

2:30 pm March, 18 Euripidouche said...

i bet if i could find whomever is responsible for making exposed brick acceptable, even desired interior decor i could make sex with crucial’s wife go back to the way it was 5 years ago, for all of us.

2:33 pm March, 18 Euripidouche said...

emily’s pussy troll, seeing what she was up against in defending herself from the looming assault, decided to arm herself with emily’s stungun.

2:46 pm March, 18 DarkSock said...

“Yo, check it….my chest is smoother than her ass”.

2:47 pm March, 18 DarkSock said...

Janine would later find that the vibrator worked even better if she took it out of the purse first.

2:48 pm March, 18 DarkSock said...

After a long night of opening longneck Buds the hard way, Janine was relieved to be near the end of her shift.

3:00 pm March, 18 DarkSock said...

So many general directions, so few farts…

3:24 pm March, 18 Wedgie said...

She is going to hurl.

4:31 pm March, 18 Business-Casual Douche said...

One word: Roofies

4:54 pm March, 18 Steve said...

If any of these douchebags actually did show up to the Tube Bar, old man Red would’ve cut Z’s in their cheeks. He’d show them what a REAL man is made of. Old fashioned tough guys that don’t exist anymore. As for Jennifer, no women are allowed in the Tube Bar.

6:48 pm March, 18 Bagneto said...

After slipping on Joey’s (sweat, gel, spray tan, Axe) puddle of congealed ooze which he refers to as “Fungle Juice,” the least he could do is help Margret to her Celica. Upon leaving, Joey’s quick thinking friend Ricky, who is currently enrolled in the Kaplan LSAT preparatory course, which in his estimation makes him the “Jersey Johnny Cochran,” advises Joey to take this picture to document that the events about to transpire, were in fact, consensual.

8:55 pm March, 18 Neil said...

“it’s okay, she just has mercury poisoning from her dress.”

10:38 pm March, 18 downunderdouche said...

” For some reason I always stick my tongue out when I’m about to shit.”

11:34 pm March, 18 Steve L. said...

when drink spiking became a legal sport, Joey immediately got his hunting permit and got his first prize catch within minutes.

11:54 pm March, 18 Champy Malicious said...

“Wha- What are you doing in here?! Here, come here. I’ll carry you. … Here. There you go. Now can you just tell me where you’ve been? Are you on something?… Really. What are you on?”

“I don’t know. …bsdpf. …. I’ve just been taking pills. Heehee…. Green ones, blue ones… Yellow ones. But when th- bbb -You carrying me?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna get you out of here. What a terrible night this has been. I just wish we’d st- Oh, a picture? Sure. Smile honey.”

5:10 am March, 19 El Caganer said...

Here comes the poo!

5:11 am March, 19 Troy Tempest said...

Hey Richie! Look what I find! She has purse – STUCK IN HER ASS! I give her roofie like you say! Now we go to my place and play! Once I get the purse out of her ass – big fun! I am one WILD AND CRAZY GUY! Right?

5:13 am March, 19 Big Tony Ventresca said...

“maaaa, look what i found!!!”

“That’s nice dear, put her back when you’re done.”

5:48 am March, 19 Baleen said...

I’d suck on those legs for a week.

5:05 am March, 20 Douchble Helix said...

I haven’t seen that dazed look on a woman’s face since MTV stopped showing Fleetwood Mac videos.

5:09 am March, 20 Douchble Helix said...

All the newly-deputized-lord-god-king-bufu-baghunters in unison:

“RESPECT MY AUTHORITY”

2:22 pm March, 20 Joe said...

Look! You can see her ass.

10:27 am March, 21 Anonymous said...

apples

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