Friday, March 19, 2010
Friday Haiku
Sickly burned glow skin,
Orange, like nuked papayrus.
But boobs reassure.
Don’t look so surprised.
Those girls don’t really like you.
They just hate their dads.
— Blair
Despite the two tabs he dropped
And vacant dilation
Cleavage goes unnoticed
– Baleen
drinkstrong’s charity
ed hardy drive, brynne donates
her cans for the cure.
– Euripidouche
The hills are alive
with the sound of music. Ken
can’t hear the music.
– Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
Kim was the last girl
Devon would ever serve a
Flaming Aqualung
– Mr. Scrotato Head
Clueless question face
Aggressive girls scare douchebag
Boobies go untouched
– MC 900 Foot Douchebag
Ian Ziering choad
Camden 08108
MTV next fall
– Vin Douchal
Oompa Loompa Boy
Shows indifference to boobs
Pink band gives a clue
Hott’s smile and cleavage
Makes me wish “Sudden Death” for
Jean-Claude Van Damme Bag
Minnesotan douche
Fries in the Las Vegas sun
Local Hotts mock him
Into the Valley
Of Delicious Boobiness
Rode the 600.
Remove concrete lid
Peer down into septic tank
Still fermenting…*close*
Don’t look so surprised.
Those girls don’t really like you.
They just hate their dads.
Forget that orange dude –
I’m diggin’ that sweet ass couch:
Vag pattern cloth? Yesss.
Metrosexual Chad
Takes color coordination
way too far from couch
Despite the two tabs he dropped
And vacant dilation
Cleavage goes unnoticed
drinkstrong’s charity
ed hardy drive, brynne donates
her cans for the cure.
His far-away gaze
Is the hollow vacant stare
Of the Just-Sharted.
Giant butternut
squash gazes in another
direction. He’s gay.
“Darn it”, thought Tommy,
“I forgot to remove the
Sphincter from my wrist”.
“What is she doing?”
wonders sickly carrot man.
Lisa enjoys free drinks.
“Maybe if I freeze
Girls will go away before
Jealous Todd sees this”
“This doesn’t feel right”
thinks yam man.The wristband gives
away his status.
Ripped jeans at the knees…
Fruitbars call it “Catcher’s Rash”
Elton John’s Rent Boy.
Wait! Is he a Hunchback?
Camera angle says yes
I would ring his bell
orangey ginger choad
toxic bronzer reaction,
mobile nursing helps
“Cheeeeeers!” screams a drunken
Jen. Brunette knows she has more
of a chance than Ken.
Drunk blonde Jenny begs,
“Come suck on my forehead, Jake!”
Jake’s not really sure
Kim’s boobs are the sweet
Treat you suck from the center
Of a cream cickle
Orange Face McGee is
not shocked. He likes when girls slip
Fingers in his bum.
The hills are alive
with the sound of music. Ken
can’t hear the music.
Pink bracelet is for
“Get Buttfuckedstrong” Foundation.
He’s the CEO.
Ebony and Orange
Roughy would make a scrotey
MJ-Paul M. song
Gay intervention
Nikki and Jenn try their best
Jake’s still a homo
The Santa Anna
Winds blow, but not as bad as
Their fire victim
Where is Mr. White?
His haikus are big funny.
MIA.
^^
Actually, Franklyn,
“Ebony and Ivory”
Was Paul and Stevie
Speech Therapist Jen
Moves to grab mouth of her Mute
“Say Sum’pin, Dammit!”
Todd yearns for Stackhouse
but bleeths keep getting in way.
Don’t drink the water.
Out of the office,
but I still log on for the
haiku and ass pear.
Nursing students try
to console Ken over loss
of his hamster Ben.
Suggestion for Jake:
I would stick my orange-ass face
all in those boobies.
did you hear the one
where the cosmetic surgeon
walks into a bar.
Lounge turd kidney scare
Quick diagnosis: spray-tan
Trick? Examine ears.
In the burn wing she
consoled him with cokes and boobs
Then porked his girlfriend
Glory hole beckons
Ken with its sweet song. Stackhouse
will wait hungrily.
Ben Wa ball necklace
Has left his face shit brown from
Taking on and off.
“I’m not with these two”
says Ken to Elton John.
Go back to his place.
Pink wristband, free drinks
Wandering-eyed boobie girl
Thinks that’s, like, so hot
Kim was the last girl
Devon would ever serve a
Flaming Aqualung
Dirty Sanchez style
Eyebrows are he hot new thing
In Key West, F L.
Ed Hardy jack ass
Shows effects of Chernobyl
Red face, small wiener
Best part of this scene
Is that boobie girl will soon
Puke in douche’s lap
Only a fruitbar
Looks away from a canyon
As gorgeous as that.
Can’t stop laughing at
All the other haikus
They’re hilarious
Stop making that dumb
Duckface! You look stupid and
your friends are ashamed
In haiku above,
I meant to write “the,” not “he.”
Miss Blogger Trash Can.
Two chicks can’t decide
What to do with the dipshit
They made from a couch
Hello my name is
Dug, you are pretty, and you
Have big boob- SQUIRREL!!
Ian Ziering choad
Camden 08108
MTV next fall
Terry sits sweetly
As drunken Hotts mob for men
Hey! Don’t waste time here!
Drew Barrymore Hott
ignores her gaydar-LOOK he’s
wearing anal beads
Above should have read
All *of* the other haikus
Can’t count anymore
Blondie’s nice cleavage
So distracting couldn’t say
Color of her eyes
Succulent blondie
Shows us why we return here
Every stinking day
This fuckface gets laid
Tells chicks that he’s Tucker Max
Well, it did work once
Ian Ziering says
Having eyelids are cool, but
I’ll trade ’em for boobs.
Chad is dazed and stunned
From twelve hours in tanning bed
Jen laughs off her ‘OOPs’
Orange Choad ignores the
First Class Chest Pear right in front
Of his douchebag face
Beta-Carotene
Ken WAY overdoes diet
EASE up on carrots!
Clueless question face
Aggressive girls scare douchebag
Boobies go untouched
Douchey will accept
like a velvet glove the fist
of stranger later
Steve shows the damage
From playful ‘lighting farts’ game
Douches have bad gas!
wanna’ spary my jizz
down this hot slut’s sweet cleavage
then kill orange face douche
when i say orange it’s one syllable, nothing wrong with you if you say it as two, but if you’re thinking of calling me out for have 6 in that third line, shut the fuck up and go fold your ed hardy t-shirts
charity wrist-band,
feels as lame as its owner,
persimmon hybrid..
Since I was sixteen
I have searched for the rear seat
From my Dad’s Nova
Imagine my shock
At finding it here Friday
With matching douchebag
Orange Frank Dux must die
Filming “Bloodsport II – Douche Fight”
Boobies will be mine!
Actress with nice chest
Drew zombie boy from coffin
Bury more bodies
Someone call Crucial
We need a haiku home run
These three don’t inspire
Jealous of my head
Blaze face Ed Hardy does gag
While he sucks porch beef
Ignoring the hotts
A threesome for him involves
His priest and nephew
Could be spray on tan
Could be excitement from boobs
Difficult to say
Very depressing
It’s not good that boobs are near
That shade of porch beef
Another holy
site is revealed to me
boobie triangle
Orange Creamsicle
Two crunchy outside layers
One creamy middle
Flame on! says Johnny
another superhero
only there’s no fire
A tight spiral with
A barrel roll will drop me
Right into the boobs
Friday. Girls gone wild
Cheap drinks. Wristbands. What’s amiss?
Fabutan gone bad.
After the first blue
Dart Ken’s facial nerves popped like
Sheets of bubble wrap
Wank-tard Zombie-bag
Just realized he put on
WAY too much spray tan.
I weep for the youth
orange skin with vacant stare
bad judgement, boobies
Nothing says love like a sun-burned albino.
boobies imperiled
by orange cake. escape when
you still have time, Anne!
I wonder if a choadwank the color of smoked salmon is as smelly as the fishmarket from whence he was cured and procured.
Oh, I forgot. It’s supposed to be a haiku.
Hmmmmm…..
Choad the hue of smoked
salmon smells like fishmarket
where cured and procured.