Friday, March 5, 2010

Friday Thoughts and Links



What is the importance of Ubiquitous Red Cup?

URC grounds us as it guides us. It is the blank canvas that allows us to focus our deepest projections of childhood memory. The Primal Scene returned uponst douchebag and hot chick. Images mass replicated and reproduced without tactility through the pixel and the screen that become collective hallucinations of each of our individual longing for the unattainable in our earliest cognitive development.

Or, as Lacan might argue, URC is our objet petit a. The signifier of the lack through the solid color of abstraction. Yet, given its function as that most primitive of vessel — the bringer of liquid — it also has systemic function. The bestower of life. It is here, where URC cuts through culture spectacle and reminds us of corporeal need, and therefore truth.

Conclusion: The DB1 needs more boobie hottie suckle thigh.

Here’s your links:

Attention New Zealand ‘Bag Hunters! MTV New Zealand is now airing Is She Really Going Out With Him? weekdays at 8:30pm. Checkitout, and let me know if you’re seeing it in Middle Earth.

Brooklyn Hipsterbags and Parents face-off in a douchefest of annoyance. I can’t tell which is more annoying, the Hipsterbags, the Parents, or the fact that CNN now uses “hipster” as a descriptive term.

Nothing But Skulls. Bringing pre-packaged and mass marketed rebellion product to bland suburban strip-malls since 2010.

Two cast members of The Jersey Shore escaped injury when the roof collapsed at a Purim Party they were hosting. The previous sentence will confound Kabbalah rabbis for many a generation.

Skweezy Jibbs is my hero. “Barack Obama muthaf*cka.”

And what’s this, ladies? Skweezy is single and available and has a profile on OK Cupid? “SOCRITES AND PLAYDOUGH IS COOL.”

Ed Hardy invades a tech trade show and ruins an ass pear.

Speaking of classic 1980s proto-scrotewankery, The Karate Kid II’s Chozen Togushi was classic retrodouche.

I Peed in a Horse Once: the story of a Darksock, an internet, and the beginnings of a legend.

Anyone who didn’t think HCwDB finalist Shiyen was hott, for shame, people. Have some Shiyen Ass Pear.

Not enough? Okay, here ya go.

Four Pear.

What’s that? The DB1 is feeling generous? Okay, one more:

Deck Pear.

Because as Blogger goes into its death spiral, the DB1 is about to jump ship to a brand new website. The HoHos are fresh. Life is good. Go forth and multiply, Hunters and Huntresses. For the guava is ripe.

# posted by douchebag1

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