Thursday, March 25, 2010

HCwDB in the Matrix


Looks like I gotta rebuild my server from the ground up. And just when I was ready to launch 2.0. Unbelievable.

I want to take my frustrations out mocking this clowny scoliosis sufferer, who actually shaved lines in both his temple and back of head area.

He’s also popping Tiny Pink Woody, which, ironically, is also the name of a new flavor of Peeps.

Meanwhile, Surfer Carol is drunk, confused, and has a thing for guys with dysfunctional servers. So I got that going for me.

# posted by admin
12:52 pm March, 25 boatbutter said...

"Wait, I think it moved. Nope, I'm homo."

12:52 pm March, 25 DarkSock said...

"Uh-0h Darlene, mah momma tole me if I hung 'round wif loose wimmen I'd turn to stone, and I done already started…"

Her body was made for baby oil. And spatulas.

1:00 pm March, 25 Wedgie said...

Small woody 2.0

Coming to a mall near you in April 2010. Or 2011.

1:02 pm March, 25 Tony Ventresca said...

Mommy, I see orange people…

1:09 pm March, 25 DarkSock said...

"Wait….where's your pee-pee at, Darla?"

*steps back in horror*

1:17 pm March, 25 scrotum pole said...

After DB1's disturbing comparison to this dude's tiny boner, I may never consume another peep for as long as I'm allowed to tread upon the earth.

Damn you DB1.

BTW, You've never truly vomited, until you expel an entire box of peeps along with a fifth of Wild Turkey.

1:18 pm March, 25 Maxim Kovalenko said...

Any moment now, Woody is going to ask for a tissue.

1:26 pm March, 25 boatbutter said...

Her french tips would look even better with my back skin underneath them.

1:46 pm March, 25 scrotum pole said...

Concentrating with all his might, Tiny was still unable to push out a suitable erection.

He did however, manage to shit a box of nerds, and a small phillips screwdriver.

2:13 pm March, 25 Anonymous said...

HCwDB's tech support.

AV

2:14 pm March, 25 Anonymous said...

Elastic Cloud Computing is your friend DB1. Sheesh, it's 2010, you don't need to be fiddling with hardware anymore. http://aws.amazon.com/ec2/

2:26 pm March, 25 Melissa said...

A link to the more super creepy orangeness of Ganguro, in case you need it.

http://melissadesa.wordpress.com/2010/03/14/ganguro-is-headed-west/

Boredom.No.Moredom

3:04 pm March, 25 Bob said...

Looking at her, you can tell she's the kind that would leave you DREAMING about having sex with her for years afterwards.

3:16 pm March, 25 Wedgie said...

This post has been removed by the author.

3:34 pm March, 25 RAPETIME said...

Oh boy, DB1. You don't even know the hell you have gotten yourself into. I saw that you had decided to go to WordPress and just cringed.

You will be battling their shitty software for the rest of your fucking life. Posts getting eaten, bounced into modland for no reason, hours of downtime – better stock up on a lot of shitty bumwine. You're gonna need it.

3:35 pm March, 25 RAPETIME said...

Carol will fuck you till your dick falls off; and rest assured – it will.

3:52 pm March, 25 joeEdo said...

I was about to ask what Carol is good for, but RAPETIME answered in advance.

I believe that. Completely.

She works for airplane bags of salted peanuts.

4:33 pm March, 25 Scroteophobic said...

Something about the eyes says that once your dick has fallen off she may then proceed to fuck you until her jelly dong melts if she decides that you didn't do a good enough job. If she hasn't put scratch marks on the headboard then she will damn well make sure you do.

5:55 pm March, 25 DarkSock said...

That girl is nastier than a cigarette butt, nose hair and santorum sandwich.

Nasty in a good way. i.e. bad way.

6:23 pm March, 25 MoeDouche said...

This is just sad…Hot girl rubbing against your crotch and and nothing is happening down there. Sad spectacle indeed.

6:32 pm March, 25 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I see more than just a few nearly flat surfaces in this photo. Of course there's the cub scout tent pitched in this guys pink shorts. But what's up with the mosquito bites? If the girl's gonna have stringy hair and gross armpit furrows, she better have some fucking tittays on her. How am I supposed to beat off to my computer screen in my mom's basement with Miss Orangey O'Mastectomy here?

7:17 pm March, 25 Baron Von Goolo said...

I played bass in Tiny Pink Woody back in college.

8:39 pm March, 25 creature said...

"Jizzed in my pants!"

10:47 pm March, 25 Southern Scrotic said...

That's it?!?

11:46 pm March, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

At first when I read "popping Tiny Pink Woody" I thought the Boss meant some sort of drug and I was like, sweet, I want some of that. Who wouldn't want to pop some Tiny Pink Woody? And the douchebag sure looked like he was wasted, but then I thought, maybe DB1 means the hott's name is Tiny Pink Woody because she's kind of small and is the same color as my nightstand. But I noticed how orange she really was and figured the boss couldn't be that color blind and would have probably have said "Popping Tangine Flat Chesty" if he meant her.

Then I noticed the pink shorts, and I realized what DB1 meant was that he had a little Woody action figure from a McDonalds Happy Meal in his shorts and he was giving it to him good and hard.

And that made me feel better because I always liked the Toy Story song "You've got a friend in me".

8:10 am March, 26 Steve L. said...

if HCwDB is in the Matrix, then can i be Neo and a select hott be my Trinity?

i asked it first!

8:19 am March, 26 euripidouche said...

@baron

my woody maize-holed a pink bass a tiny time ago, you know it as penis, corn, and salmon….

she is delicious, his name is lenny and was the protagonist of a john steinbeck rough draft "of hotdogs and hallways",the book changed a lot in the re-writes for legal reasons, and matters of taste, but the essential character remained the same.

11:48 pm March, 26 Anonymous said...

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

3:51 am March, 27 Whoop-di-douche said...

Well, her own Peeps are a tad flat but an unusual patterned bikini suggestive of transcendental meditation in India has Tiny Pink Woody mesmerized with his own little marshmallow.

4:12 am March, 27 Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

She's a bruiser in bed, fo shizzle

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