Monday, March 1, 2010

HCwDB of the Week

A quiet weekend on the HCwDB alpaca ranch for your humble narrator. I watered the Azaleas. I groomed the Gila Monsters and milked the kumquats. Now it’s time to get down to bidness.

Here’s your finalists:

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Shiyen and DJ Smelly Bottom

Shiyen’s adventures in douchescrotery continued here and here.

It’s about time we bring a HCwDB of the week that inolves a hott entering the world of douche, and not the other way around.

Shiyen is most certainly hottness. Anyone who doubts her attractiveness should juggle a kumquat.

Yet more significantly, her journey into the land of uberscrote is what this site is designed to document and expose to the disinfecting light of societal mock.

Like dudes with lip rails and “Rockstar” hats. And Shiyen’s bitable thigh.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: The Cartoonbags, aka Kara and Toon.

Spectacle of uberdouchosity in the club? MMA/UFC hyper masculine “tough” guy” with carefully trimmed chin pube dribble? Gach.

Boobies that implode like Cadmium-9 in the Haldron Supercollider?

We have it here.

Toon is superhuman uberdouchian.

Kara is enhanced curves of surgical assistance lust.

Boobies?

Yes.

Yes.

And Yes.

Together, they make Affliction.

But is the skank factor enough to unbalance the hottie/douchey equation so as not to win the HCwDB of the Week? That remains to be seen.

HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: Captain Rehab and Ubiquitous Luane

How ubiquitous is Luane?

She appeared in Where’s Trojan Helmet? as well as with another greasy Vegas choad in the site update post.

In each pic she looks to be gnawable pseudo-librarian with a healthy dash of raunch skank.

Which was an early recipe practiced by the Quakers.

In each pic she cuddles with or near a pustule. For that, for bringing Ubiquitous Red Cup with her in her nomination pic, and for Captain Rehab’s pollution of water, this pic is a worthy coupling indeed.

(Dis)honorable mention to Mandarin Orange, who goes straight to our hallowed Closet of Poo, the quality hottness of the Giggle Hotties at the Grande Cafe, as well as the quality hottness of Brunette Clarissa who may well get her shot at the 2010 Douchies for Girl Next Door Hottness.

But three may enter.

Only one may emerge poo-torious.

Which of these three pics has that perfect balance of scrotey choadey and sexy thigh gnaw?

Vote, as ever, in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1

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