Thursday, March 11, 2010

King D says “Welcome, ‘Bag Hunters!”

PIC DELETED

For those who missed legendary Hall of Scrote taintclown, King Douchuous the IV, welcoming us to the new site, here he is again, in all his spikey, semi-employed glory.

Mmmm… Holy Zebra Triangle. It suggests dark mysterious lands of adventure, fear and possible danger.

I’ll roll my hit dice and see what my saving throw is.

It appears to be Valtrex.

# posted by douchebag1
7:16 am March, 11 douchebag1 said...

Oy, if the comments threads are still giving you problems, email me with what’s up at douchebag1@hotchickswithdouchebags. I should hire people to help me with this. Oh wait, I did. And they aren’t.

7:23 am March, 11 jonezy said...

King D- don’t get your spikes too close to her inflatables. They could pop dude!

7:26 am March, 11 jonezy said...

King D reminds me of Bowser. Bowser was a douche too.

But this is no princess peach.

7:28 am March, 11 Peter Dragon said...

Guess where this finger has been?

7:29 am March, 11 Douchey Sanchez said...

Ahhh, to experience the stripper herpes vector in its native environment. . . . It’s like seeing biological warfare agents in a glove box. Thank God for the glove box (HCwDB)!

7:33 am March, 11 Sad Party Karaoke Robot said...

Super. Aids. That is all.

7:35 am March, 11 Captain Bringdown said...

I like to think she’s opening a Kill Bill style over-the-top can o’ WhoopAss on his sorry chin.

7:42 am March, 11 Herr Weiss said...

Couldn’t comment at all last night. Can I today?

7:43 am March, 11 Captain Bringdown said...

@DB1,

I’ve got a lot of sympathy for ya, boss. Unfortunately I’ve got no skills to help you out, so I’ll just bitch like a little girl.

Couldn’t post last night when you asked about the pop-ups. Wanted to, but WordPress said “LOL, No”. Anyway, I’ve got no love for the current pop-up comments. It’s difficult to tell who’s writing what, with the avatars missing, attributions at the bottom, and no graphical delineations between comments. Missing the aforementioned skills, I don’t know if you can add functionality to the comments with add-ons, or if you have to go with the in-page comments to get the functionality you need. Either way, I feel your pain. Actually, I don’t; I’m just saying that so I won’t look like a dick for complaining.

7:50 am March, 11 Maxim Kovalenko said...

Dark mysterious lands of adventure?
In this case, I suspect somebody to die in that jungle.

7:52 am March, 11 Maxim Kovalenko said...

Oh, and I miss the avatars, and you can do threaded comments for wordpress

http://en.blog.wordpress.com/2009/02/19/comment-threading-is-here-plus-other-cool-comment-settings/ this article might be of help.

8:01 am March, 11 Wedgie said...

She is beautiful, and he is a cheesedick. Fuck you back, grease stain. WordPress sucks monkey nuts, but the surf is coming up and the sky is blue. Therefore, all is not lost. Fuccen guy!

8:12 am March, 11 Deltus said...

She’s Bleeth, but I still want her. Which makes me cry on the inside.

Also, Boss? If you’d like help with the new site setup (HTML, CSS, WordPress) I have a lot of experience, and would be willing to pitch in and help, for a site that I love and visit a few times daily.

8:22 am March, 11 smackdouche said...

Oh my God! I feel actual pain from the fire she causes inside of me. I’d disappear into that triangle.

8:28 am March, 11 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

What Captain Bringdown said.

Everything is too jumbled here. And by jumbled, I mean what I’d do with the Zebra Triangle. After I sprayed it with all these.

8:31 am March, 11 Herr Weiss said...

@Captain Bringdown

Yeah, me too. I tried to comment last night, but WordPress said, “Bitch, you gots to be logged in,” and I was all, “What the lolicopterz, WordPress, you didn’t give me no damn log-in box,” and it said, “What-ever, be-otch.”

8:43 am March, 11 Captain Bringdown said...

WordPress be an Ice Pimp, yo.

8:47 am March, 11 Captain Bringdown said...

WordPress is colder than King D’s hippocampus on Strip Bar Trivia Night.

8:51 am March, 11 Euripidouche said...

its like she is convinced king douchious has the missing parts of her childhood, the rest of her clothes and her dignity stuffed down his shirt.

8:53 am March, 11 Scooby Douche said...

Fuck WordPress! Go back to the old site. It worked fine.

9:01 am March, 11 Bagnonymous said...

@ Euripidouche: Naw, King D just told her he’s out of $20 bills and she didn’t believe him, so she’s taking a look for herself. That money-hungry beeyotch.

Then again, she’s so tiny and hot, I’d get my ass to the $50-surcharge ATM of questionable banking origins in the back of the club, and max out my daily withdrawl. That pink/zebra triangle and shaven side-mons have me in a freakin’ trance.

9:01 am March, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Word Press is a jackhammer to the taint

9:01 am March, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Word Press is a tranny surprise ( see: trannysurprise.com)

9:02 am March, 11 Crucial Head said...

I was able to log in just fine last night. Granted, all that showed up when I typed my username (YogurtCannon) and password (porchbeef666), all that showed up were full length clips from Youporn. So, I did what comes naturally after viewing a few clips before retiring for the evening.

It wasn’t until this morning I realized I had just clicked the link below HCWDB.com in my favorites folder.

In other words, I guess I can’t really help with this matter.

Thanks for letting me share.

9:03 am March, 11 Vin Douchal said...

WordPress is like Google, only without easy to use blogs, delete button, post preview, avatars, simple to navigate porn searches and working fine every day

9:15 am March, 11 jonezy said...

TaintPress

9:16 am March, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Okay none of that ^ helped it was venting.

So here’s the major gliches in DouchalLand:

– Same as Crucial, I was getting “you must be lgged in to post” message last night. I logged in , created a stoopid blogger page and still nothing

– This popup page is hard to read. You can’t tell one post from the next, where one starts or ends and there’s a little tiny box to type in so if say, Troy wanted to post a 5,000 word essay on the superiority of Canadian whiskey to American there’d be just a little box to proof read it prior to clicking “say it”.

People proof read right? Right Stackie?

– What HTML can you use? Myabe someone should try all the HTML options in a row so we can see? Who has time for that? Anyone? Step up we need a volunteer

– I tried to search HCwDB from my blogger page and it puts up every ass wipe that has ever used the words “douche” & “douchebag” except Db1’s spot. And to let you know, your “HCwDB” is being co-opted all over this place, photos and all…

Hope this helps, gotta go.

Your Pal,

Vin

9:18 am March, 11 Bagnonymous said...

BTW, Boss, what happened to your “DB1” handle? Did you get shafted on the name just like Bob & Mr. White?

9:18 am March, 11 Vin Douchal said...

P.S. We haven’t heard from Spell Nazi. I bet he had one look at this place and had an aneurysm

9:27 am March, 11 End the Haberdouchery said...

Boss,

I second Captain Bringdown with adding some graphical separation of comments. Unfortunately I also second his lack of skills with programming despite sitting in front of one of these magic picture typey boxes all day. I know this isn’t your job, but could you post a quick HTML FAQ for ‘tards like me that want to put some comments in italics like “accosted with a jelly dong” but don’t know how?

Also, just spitballin’ here, and not to second guess your judgment for a second here, but you could create a scrotemeter to rank from 1 to 10 to rank the utter stank emanating from the douche, and a similar sucklemeter for hott hotness. Weekly matchups could then be decided objectively by the greatest coupling of the two. Based on a 10 point system, CF = (scrote + hott)/20 where CF is the overall photo cringe factor.

9:29 am March, 11 massengill said...

Though black and white in color that’s really more of a leopard print. Zebra’s are striped. Just sayin’.

9:38 am March, 11 jonezy said...

WaffleIronBallPress

10:16 am March, 11 Ojo Rojo said...

That’s not a holy zebra triangle; it’s a holy snow leopard triangle.

10:03 am March, 11 Anonne Huntress said...

The problems with comments and registration are probably due to the fact that there are no meta links that allow us to register and log in. It’s a problem with the theme.

10:58 am March, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

Euripidouche 8:51 FTW

And let me further that by saying I’m really glad there were no digital cameras or interwebs at the height of my drinking career. I suspect in about five years, I’ll be hearing laments from young women at AA meetings…”I knew I had hit rock bottom when I showed up on a website called “Hot Chicks With Douchebags.com”, with my dress around my waist, swinging from a stripper pole and groping a porcupine!” *sobs*

11:25 am March, 11 Big Tony Ventresca said...

I hope this site gets better, otherwise this will be change for the sake of change, which is always bad.

I really like the hint stubble around Zebra Triangle’s zebra triangle. Must have shaved a few days ago.

1:58 pm March, 11 Kandykiss said...

You really have issues if your looking close enufff to that picture to noticeee stubble dudee.
Maybe “Tony” you shoulddd tryyy gettting a lifeee, layy of the computer timeee you looser and take a good looook in the mirror.

2:41 pm March, 11 Scrote Douche-N-Harmony said...

Mark Hamill’s face looked better before the car accident.

5:19 pm March, 11 scrotum pole said...

Testing 1…2…3

5:19 pm March, 11 scrotum pole said...

testing 3…4..5

6:57 pm March, 11 douchevilla said...

Thanks for the support

http://tinyurl.com/yfdlvfj

8:29 pm March, 11 Euripidouche said...

@medusa, wait til google or somebody figures out a way to upload a pic and input it into a search engine for graphic images, matched pixel for pixel or somehow rendering near matches…

12:30 am March, 12 Steve L. said...

i rolled a Natasha on my saving throw. is that worse than Valtrex?

6:40 am March, 12 scrotum pole said...

pic deleted

6:23 pm March, 12 Whoop-di-douche said...

Wheezer would surely tell us where he’s seen these Bleeths before, but the pic is a tad fuzzy…mebbe they’ve been imbibing Fuzzy Navels.

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