Thursday, March 18, 2010

Lazlo and Jake Finally Throw That Pool Party They Were Always Talking About at the Frat

Lazlo is so excited, he’s showing off his patented “Groin Shave Reveal: Thai Style” (GSRTS).

# posted by douchebag1
2:50 pm March, 18 ufo destroyers said...

It’s nice they invited the “special” neighbor so they could let him get their Zimas. Careful, he burns easily since he doesn’t get out much.

2:52 pm March, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“Would classify that as a launch problem or a design problem?”

2:53 pm March, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“I think I’ll file this under “H” for toy.”

2:53 pm March, 18 Crucial Head said...

Well, I wasn’t expecting DB1 to post a picture of TOR’s stool sample… but here it is.

2:54 pm March, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“Lazlo…Oh Yeah! That’s me.”

2:54 pm March, 18 DarkSock said...

Um, Boss, I know you’re trying to run a PG-rated site so you may want to blur out Lazlo’s peen there peeking out the top of his stretchies.

He’s hung like a dachshund.

2:55 pm March, 18 DarkSock said...

The gang laughed cruelly behind Blind Timmy’s air drumming antics.

2:55 pm March, 18 Crucial Head said...

Though his upper torso was all that remained after Arthur lopped his legs off with his razor sharp penis, the Black Knight put up his dukes and brazenly declared, “it’s only a flesh wound!”

2:56 pm March, 18 DarkSock said...

Damn that guy’s got a sweet Ocasek mullet…I gotta give him a pass.

But not Shave McRectum though.

3:03 pm March, 18 DarkSock said...

“We just peed in your pool; can you poop in our ashtray?”

3:03 pm March, 18 DarkSock said...

wait; it’s “We just peed in your ashtray, can we use your pool?”

3:05 pm March, 18 DarkSock said...

“You can wish in one pool, and pee in the other; see which one fills up the quickest”. That’s it; sorry. Carry on.

3:06 pm March, 18 DarkSock said...

They’re putting the “poo” in pool party.

3:08 pm March, 18 Southern Scrotic said...

Can you hammer a six inch spike through a board with your penis?

Not right now.

3:28 pm March, 18 nona said...

Glad to see Scott Weiland is still pulling quality ass.

3:31 pm March, 18 Medusa Oblongata said...

Is that QH in the front? I didn’t know he was friends with The Rock.

Jeebus. I’m going to go burn my swimsuit right now. I want to ensure I’m never tempted to again dip myself in scrote-tainted water.

3:46 pm March, 18 Wedgie said...

Quizroid (if it’s him) shows more facial expression than ever before. Now we know all it takes is a little poopie in his pants to get hime excited.

3:46 pm March, 18 Wedgie said...

…get him excited. Fuccen learn to spell asshole.

3:48 pm March, 18 pv1 said...

Cockk punch.

3:53 pm March, 18 Scooby Docuhe said...

Jeez, that thing on the right in the blue bikini is scary ugly!

4:24 pm March, 18 Vin Douchal said...

My dog makes the same face as Lazlo GSRTS when I scratch his belly. You think blue bikini got his leg kicking around?

4:26 pm March, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Speaking of aplacas: Surfing alpaca

The poor feller still looks a little weak from all the times Db1 has punched him in the balls

4:32 pm March, 18 Troy Tempest said...

Mr GSR appears to be hung like a weasel, a very little weasel, which is oddly appropriate.

The stench of Scrote is strong here, but the scuzzy odor of bleeth here is stornger. Yow – we’re talkin major league skank here folks.

4:57 pm March, 18 fatness said...

Scooby, you capitalize proper names: Thing.

5:49 pm March, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Darksock 2:54

That’s no cockk; that’s his gerbil. Lil’ fella’s just coming up for some air.

5:51 pm March, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

One more elbow to the cockk and he puked all over her boobs.

No one noticed.

Except the gerbil. He thought it was awesome.

5:59 pm March, 18 Mr. White said...

And on that day–the day when his “crummy friends” buried him up to the waste in the neighbors’ sandbox–TOR decided to seek his revenge. His fighting style would come to be known as “mentally handicapped boxing,” a more embarrassing and infinitely less effective offshoot of drunken boxing.

6:00 pm March, 18 Mr. White said...

^It’s “waist” not “waste,” twatwaffle.

6:01 pm March, 18 Mr. White said...

Just a guess: Bleeth on the right idolizes Snooki and thinks that it’s awesome that they’re finally showing “real women” on TV.

6:08 pm March, 18 Bagneto said...

Speaking of Thailand.. just got back…. if you’re thinking about a much needed vacation, stay away from Patong in Phuket… it’s been attracting Euro-scrote since they figured out how to sail around the Cape of Hope.

6:15 pm March, 18 Troy Tempest said...

for your amusement:

You might recall last week or so, some trolling retard imitated my style (except that he didn’t notice that I almost never use the word “but”, cuz I like, ya know, almost know how to write ‘n’ stuff) and basically embarrassed me. So I got back at him…. (he’s a neighbour of mine…)

So I went over to his place to drink some beer, and while he was in the can loading up the porcelain throne with brisket, guacamole, chips, beer and spuds, I brought screen shots for a nasty BoSD made into an autofullscreen flash looping animation and put it in his startup folder.

So, of course he comes crying to me the next day….

“buh buh buh everything was great, and I start the computer and I get a BSoD and I’m FUCKED!!!! Help me man!!!”

“Sure bud – I’ll be there in a few…”

So, after I eat breakfast I mosey over to his place.

I go over there, run it in safe mode, poke around the registry, run cmd ping a few times and tell him “You’re fucked. You need a new computer”

“NO WAY MAN! i jsut got this thing last month.”

“Well it’s fuckin toast dude. Call them up and complain.”

So he’s on hold and I’m drinking coffee and eating all his donuts. Finally he starts blubbering to the Tech support, and I say “Lemme just check one more thing…” and I go remove the file, and restart and all is well. He hangs up after sitting and waiting for 20 minutes.

“DUDE!!! YOU ARE A FUCKIN’ GENIUS!!! I owe ya a big one!”

Aaaaa – revenge is best served not cold, but invisibly… He’s off getting me a 750 of Glenfiddich.

6:23 pm March, 18 Wedgie said...

^Brilliant

7:18 pm March, 18 G said...

Sheesh,

Did anyone tell the hotties that Lazlo is hung like a moth?

7:29 pm March, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Troy^

Nasty. Not quite evil. But nasty.

7:36 pm March, 18 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

I like the Mr. SkinnyWrists’ punch pose. Never saw a weight room. Never boxed a round. Never scored a girl. But this is the new BillyBadAss. EXCELLENT

7:37 pm March, 18 Fat, Drunk, and Douchey said...

Moles and trolls, moles and trolls, work, work, work, work, work. We never see the light of day. We plan this thing for weeks and all they want to do is study. I’m disgusted. I’m sorry but it’s not like me, I’m depressed. There was what, no one at the mutant hamster races, we only had one entry into the Madame Curie look-alike contest and he was disqualified later. Why do I bother?

7:38 pm March, 18 Fat, Drunk, and Douchey said...

And Kent, stop touching yourself!

8:36 pm March, 18 Euripidouche said...

c’mon girls the douche down front could benefit from your wisdom here, yeah i know he should have settled the issue in his mind before he started, but what does he do…spit or swallow…

the shame of it, the girl on the right is probably turbo-charged in bed…

9:51 pm March, 18 Anonne Huntress said...

lol, G.

And YAY, boss, for the site registration! looks like one of these days I should get myself a gravatar…

10:49 pm March, 18 Baleen said...

Down front is Larry Flint’s tard nephew Zilch. It was his first time on the set of “Tor, The Plucked Penis Wrinkle” as a key grip. When the director wasn’t looking , Zilch jumped in for his own money shot: two fistfuls of his own man gravy appeared moments before everyone was defiled. Needless to say, it was his first and last time working on a porn flick.

11:00 pm March, 18 Crucial Head said...

Gill crooned sullen lullabies to his ladies as Lawrence readied his invisible Super-Soaker 10,000 to stave off the onslaught of eager children on the Raging Water’s playing field.

11:03 pm March, 18 Crucial Head said...

Though Adrian’s reaction was extremely combative, Aloysius expressed a much humbler demeanor once the doctor read their verdict:

“Hepatitis C… positive.”

11:05 pm March, 18 Crucial Head said...

Clarence soon discovered that each exhale by his bleeths brought the much needed nourishment of life-giving methane gases to his fragile 3-7/8 year old Nexus-6 frame.

11:12 pm March, 18 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Lazlo is constructed entirely of plywood, brake fluid, and herpes.

His friend there appears to be a lemur wearing sunglasses.

The girl on the right is kind of homely. But she was probably the prom queen at Grants Pass HS ’04, and for that I would paddle her behind gently with one of my good spatulas.

11:16 pm March, 18 Steve L. said...

groin shave reveal? moar liek kidney sale stitch reveal, amirite?

because they were finally able to finance the pool party and everything.

11:37 pm March, 18 Champy Malicious said...

Lady on the left forgot to take off her wrist band. The one that screams “I JUST GOT BACK FROM THE TRADE SHOW WHERE I PURCHASED THIS ODDLY DISPROPORTIONATE BUST AND I’M GOING TO PUT IT RIGHT HERE BY THE POOL.”

Her husband and his harem can’t help but poke fun at her. What was she thinking?

2:38 am March, 19 Anonymous said...

What a couple of bitches.

I like the cheap ho’s though.

Waiter, more Taco’s with Tibetan Salsa and a smattering of Ho Ho’s.

Regards,

Douche Pitt

3:21 am March, 19 Blair said...

Three chicks, two dudes, and yet Jake is the one all up in Lazlo’s junk.

4:56 am March, 19 Troy Tempest said...

OK – so i figurededed it out.

Lazlo GSR is going out with Tall Blondie. I’ll call her “Heather”. The girl at right (Lazlo’s left) is Cindy and she’s going out with Jake. Lazlo and Jake had no idea what to do that weekend, so Heather said “Hey – it’s a nice day, my mom, Barbara, and my step dad, Jerry, have a great pool – let’s go hang there. Barbs just got lip injections to go with her boob job – I bet she looks Hawt!” And so they all jam into Heather’s Hyundai and putt putt over to Casa Bleeth. Everyone is having fun, and this is the first time the step dad met Cindy, so he wants a picture so he can fwap in the pool house until Barb’s lips heal and she can start hoovering his junk. Of course he emails the photo to Heather and she passes it on from there, and the next thing you know it ends up here for our perusal and edification.

5:03 am March, 19 Troy Tempest said...

@Wedgie and Scrotatohead –

The best part is tomorrow I’m gonna hear from him because he reads this site.

The conversation, almost guaranteed, will run something like this:

Him: “DOOOOD!!! You muthaFUCKAR! You did that to me!!!??? you suck. I thought my computer was like DEAD, man – you suck!”

Me: “Just fair play for what you did to me, you dingbat.”

So I’ll probably have to share the Glenfiddich… but that’s fine – I’m more of a Tobermorey type o’ guy.

5:09 am March, 19 Big Tony Ventresca said...

Crucial Head @11:05 – nice Blade Runner reference!

5:13 am March, 19 El Caganer said...

Chris kattan pulls low grade tail.

6:31 am March, 19 my friends call me @$$hole said...

wtf? is that guy kneeling? this isn’t the little league team photo

6:37 am March, 19 Deltus said...

It really does look like Lazlo’s hung like a mouse. And currently turgid. Almost makes me feel sorry for him. Almost.

10:42 pm March, 19 Whoop-di-douche said...

Lazlo’s offerin’ a tip, and nobody’s payin’ the least attention, although Jake’s got somethin’ to say about that. SPIT IT OUT, Jake!

11:22 am March, 20 Edvis said...

Since when did it become cool to hang out with dorks?

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