Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Planet Chinstachia

Not a planet in the Alderchin System.

Yup. Star Wars jokes.

This learning the new WordPress system thing is causing your humble narrator to increase drinking rapidly and exponentially. I’m having serious CSS font issues, so apologize if the font here is BIG then small, then smells like poo. All will be good soon enough.

Phyllis The Part Time Model and Full Time Parsons Design Student Who’s Only Into 80s New Wave makes me want to honk cactus plants wearing only a mumu and a codpiece with a picture of Punky Brewster on it.

Cuz I’se freaky like that.

# posted by douchebag1
11:10 am March, 10 Bagnonymous said...

Phyllis is pretty. Too bad this photo was taken with her niece’s My First Cell Phone camera.

11:26 am March, 10 jonezy said...

I mean, that basically is an inverted Hitler ‘stache. Fucking Fascist.

11:47 am March, 10 Baleen said...

I believe that is a colony of fleas on his chin. They’re gonna jump ship into her vag when the time is right.

11:55 am March, 10 Fat, Drunk, and Douchey said...

Hal Sparks is desperately trying to use that “I Love the 80’s” commentary gig to impress sweet Phyllis here. She is more concerned with what the producer from VH1 behind the camera can do for her. So goes love in Hollywood.

11:59 am March, 10 Bagnonymous said...

Can I just say, that keeping up the commenting on this site change-over is like riding atop a car through a carwash. It’s exciting as all hell.. and then there’s a point at which you start to question the overall idea. Though I’m optimistic we’ll all come out of this thing clean & shiny, albeit still soaking wet, smelling like pine-tree-scented air fresheners, and feeling all good about our new duds. Here’s to the future.

And to 3-D Ass Pear rendering. (Seriously, DB1, get to work on that pronto.)

12:02 pm March, 10 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

The Succubleeth is a rare find indeed, and have been known to lay their eggs on douchebags faces…mainly in the chin region leaving a distinct dark patch causing ones eyes to glow red.

12:03 pm March, 10 Big said...

@Bagnonymous What about scratch and sniff ass-pear rendering?

Phyllis looks like she’s all business during the day but all leather and whips at night.

12:04 pm March, 10 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

I’m suddenly in the mood for some huevos rancheros….

12:24 pm March, 10 Bagnonymous said...

@Big: Scratch ‘n’ Sniff ass pear would be great. As long as I can scratch with my nose.

10:38 am March, 10 Captain Bringdown said...

Phyllis has everything I need. If she had lobster claws, she’d be perfect.

10:51 am March, 10 Troy Tempest said...

I don’t think she knows all the letters in the alphabet. He does know all the letters in the alphabet – he just doesn’t care.

11:09 am March, 10 DarkSock said...

I would like to kiss her Wookie; perhaps he could arrange that.

11:12 am March, 10 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Love the Scratch n’ Sniff Ass Pear idea. Someone needs to patent that. I would prefer to scratch with my penis and smell with my… penis.

11:17 am March, 10 Herr Weiss said...

@big

Nah, not whips and leather. She’s more into clamps and ball gags. Medusa will back me up on this.

11:20 am March, 10 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Scott Ian invented lower lip fung.

11:21 am March, 10 Demoted to anonymous said...

TAFKA Mr. White here. Now WordPress won’t even let me use Herr Weiss. I had a dumb comment about nipple clamps and ball gags, but now I’m just broken. I give up. I’m going to join pfah, bcs, and plinky in the great beyond.

11:22 am March, 10 Herr Weiss said...

Now my comments appear to get randomly inserted in the middle, rather than at the end. I still give up.

11:25 am March, 10 scrotum pole said...

A comment thread without avatars is like an uncircumcised penis….No personality.

11:49 am March, 10 Penelope "Punky" Brewster, Esq. said...

I’d like my codpiece back, thank you very much.

11:55 am March, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Boss,

In case you’re interested, I think I prefer the “Baghunter said” format for comments that are on active threads as opposed to the current structure. It’s nice to know ahead of time who’s saying what. That way I can mentally prep myself for context, like seeing the person sitting across the table from you at KFC. I know there are icons, but some of us change ours on occasion. For what it’s worth.

11:56 am March, 10 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Herr Weiss–

Fear not. Know exactly what you mean, and you are correct. This one’s a taker, not a giver. Know how I know? Subtle signs that tell me that this one won’t put up a fight. Sure, she’s all talk and mock confidence, with her kissy lips and her tits out and her big blonde hair. But girls like this aren’t predators, they’re prey. It’s the rest of us, clad in slim black, tier-2 looks and quiet cynicism that are the whip wielders. No, Big, you’ve got it all wrong. This one would wail in her throat as the ball gag plugged the sound and the tears streaked her mascara. While the zip-ties cut into her wrists, only a throaty laugh would come from me as I forced in three unlubed fingers, then four, counting the rising red lash marks on her quivering white ass.

Oh, Mr. White, I’m gonna stop and get some milk on the way home. You like skim, right? Or was it 2%?

11:56 am March, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Boss,

In case you’re interested, I think I prefer the “Baghunter said” format for comments that are on active threads as opposed to the current structure. It’s nice to know ahead of time who’s saying what. That way I can mentally prep myself for context, like seeing the person sitting across the table from you at KFC. I know there are icons, but some of us change ours on occasion. For what it’s worth.

11:58 am March, 10 Medusa Oblongata said...

Wow, this is weird, no order to the comments, they just go where they go, slipping through time and space…. It’s like riding in the freakin’ TARDIS or something.

Yeah, I went there. Who’s your Doctor?

12:00 pm March, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Damn double post! This transition is enough to make me want to do some work and wait for the construction signs to come down. If only I could get Medusa’s “four fingers” image out of my head. Nah, keep the image, bag the work.

12:02 pm March, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Medusa ^Somewhere in Time

I was gonna go with Time Bandits A pack of rampaging midget thieves anyone? Either that or Christopher Reeves feverishly rubbing his Lincoln for a second shot at Dr. Quinn, Medicine Hottie.

12:52 pm March, 10 Herr Weiss said...

I don’t know where in the space time continuum this comment will end up, but I can’t let Medusa’s Dr. Who reference slide past.

Medusa; I think it’s time for another round of Cyber-Men vs. The Daleks in the playpen tonight.

2:37 pm March, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Herr Weiss

Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? NO! When the gong gets tough… the tough get going!

Take some peyote, walk into the middle of Boston Common, take a seat, clear your mind and then the name will come to you in a sort of vision quest. You will be reborn into the form of an even greater ‘baghhunter. Fear not, it works.

3:14 pm March, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“When the GONG gets tough”? Stoopid monkey typist, you’re fired!

@ Herr Weiss

Go to http://www.abstrusegoose.com

I think you’ll find it pretty fuccen funny.

3:18 pm March, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ sorry, nix the www. Just go to abstrusegoose.com

3:50 pm March, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Just trying to cheer up TAFKA Mr. White

The union of the mathematician with the poet,

fervor with measure,

passion with correctness,

this surely is the ideal.

—William James, Collected Essays

7:57 am March, 11 Deltus said...

This pic makes me wish someone would invent a chin-fung-seaking missile. Oh, and Punky Brewster grew up HOTT!

3:11 am March, 13 me said...

first of all its not on my chin.. its on my lip and second I kinda like that pic of us! 😉

2:31 pm March, 15 DouchesWild said...

Tom Waits is the only one allowed to cultivate a scrote-patch.

10:57 am March, 18 guenstig uebernachtung in viersen said...

guenstig uebernachtung in viersen…

[…] So now U.S. manufacturers have publicly accused the Japanese of dumping trucks; that is, illegally selling them here for less than in Japan and doing Detroit harm. Perhaps,something Ms. Brando was then seven months pregnant with Drollet’s child….

11:10 pm March, 18 Large Plastic Storage Boxes said...

Can you provide more information on this? greets

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