Sunday, March 28, 2010

Questionable Self Portrait #561


At what point does a douche, at 2am with his sorority hott half drunk and sloppy, think “now would be a great time for a mirror self portrait”?

And who gets a tatt of Archimedes on their upper arm area?

Yup.

More random questions as the DB1 sits around on a Sunday and hopes his tech team decides to help get the new site back online today. So far, no luck.

# posted by admin
7:40 pm March, 28 Wedgie said...

Nice Valtrex shirt. Nothing like a little truth in advertising. Obviously, she needs to drink a bit to hang out with him.

7:40 pm March, 28 Wheezer said...

"V" for violation.

7:42 pm March, 28 Wheezer said...

I guess she has to see herself drinking to believe it.

Notice that he's also wearing a wifebeater under the sleeveless. Nice.

7:49 pm March, 28 Southern Scrotic said...

He's got a $100 bill for her in the other hand.

8:03 pm March, 28 clam fist said...

Blondie says

"if I am drunk it doesn't count"

This kind of thinking is how it usually goes for me. Thank God for the hunch punch.

8:08 pm March, 28 El Caganer said...

If her sweat shirt is any indication, she is on the track team. Which means she would be tough to catch and throw into a van.

8:10 pm March, 28 El Caganer said...

Go Vols!

8:14 pm March, 28 Bob said...

Ashley Tisdale is really slumming it here.

And hellz yeah, I would. I looked it up on IMDb. Ashley's 25. OMNOMNOMNOM!

8:17 pm March, 28 Mr. White said...

She looks like one of the girls deemed "too trashy" to be on the last season of Bret Michaels' "Rock of Love." He looks like one of the guys deemed "too dumb" to be a roadie for Cyanide, the Poison tribute band that opens for Bret Michaels.

8:53 pm March, 28 El Queso said...

That arm tatt says, "Mommy was a frigid bitch who never loved me."

@Mr. White is jealous of the Archimedes part, though.

8:54 pm March, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

"V" is for vagina, vagina, E = mcvagina.

Here's to hoping that she found some left-over Kool Aid from Jonestown.

9:10 pm March, 28 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

'V' is for Vagrant?
'V' is for Vagina-boy?
'V' is for Vapid?
'V' is for Vacuous?
'V' is for Vagabond?
'V' is for Vagrant?
'V' is for ?

9:12 pm March, 28 Anonymous said...

She must have seen the Camera so she put the cup in her face.

9:15 pm March, 28 Bigphatnotadouche said...

Heather Locklear looks stunned as she realizes the downside of not hanging with Richie Sambora.

9:35 pm March, 28 massengill said...

Honestly, who gets a Sam Elliot tattoo?

The Village idiot, that's who.

9:47 pm March, 28 Anonymous said...

DB1, a website of this nature is not at all difficult to program. Your "tech team" (work ethics notwithstanding) must be incompetent.

If they're doing this with Ruby-on-Rails, you are well and totally screwed.

10:03 pm March, 28 Chad Kroeger said...

When Risky Business ended her non-blossoming career, a young Rosanna Arquette went on a date with her brother David's friend Valedictorian. He was supposed to be dating the turd ugly duckling sister Pat.

10:46 pm March, 28 Dr. Scholls said...

I have a connection with a Chink dude that has bootleg Dr. Scholl's skin tag remover.

11:27 pm March, 28 creature said...

the back of that shirt is emblazened with a giant "D"

11:28 pm March, 28 creature said...

"Dude, I totally live in Van Nuys"

11:29 pm March, 28 creature said...

"mom thought it might be easier for me to score if I let everyone know I was a Virgin"

11:30 pm March, 28 creature said...

"naw man, it's my IQ in Roman numerals"

11:42 pm March, 28 Ministry of Gaijin Business Matters said...

@Dr. Scholls:

We will no longer be producing your shitty product in the People's Republic.

Fuck You.

11:44 pm March, 28 Wedgie said...

@Dr. Scholls:

We will no longer be producing your shitty product in the People's Republic.

Fuck You.

Signed,

Ministry of Gaijin Business Affairs

12:06 am March, 29 Just Sayin' said...

I'm thinkin' she's 5'2" and he's 5'5".

Munchkin chicks are hott. Munchkin guys are Munchkins.

12:21 am March, 29 End the Haberdouchery said...

Munchkin chicks are also good for the standing 69, you'll just need bigger arms than Mike here.

His eyes say "Now just wait ten minutes and she'll be unconscious next to my sad karaoke party robot."

12:40 am March, 29 massengill said...

@ End the Haberdouchery

The standing 69 is a good warmup for the accidental tombstone piledriver.

12:58 am March, 29 Troy Tempest said...

By the look in her eye, the roofies are kickin' hard. Looks like Leonard's gonna GET SOME.

2:37 am March, 29 Medusa Oblongata said...

If this isn't the portrait of THE Crisis of Modernity, I don't know what is. She'll show up in AA at 29 but won't stick around. He'll still be pining for her at 49 but won't try to get over it.

This pic actually makes me sad and I'm not joking.

3:00 am March, 29 baleen said...

Valtrex here is just savoring the moment- a tranny drinking a laxative elixir.

I weep for the housekeepers at the Ramada.

4:10 am March, 29 DarkSock said...

Not trying to be a stickler here, Boss, but that's actually a tattoo of our 19th president Rutherford B. Hayes who shat the longest contiguous fæces specimen of any Commander In Chief (21.5"); medical fact. However, Taft holds the record for largest log circumference (5.14", about the size of a Hawaiian Punch can).

Curiously, Gerald Ford holds the weight record (3 lb, 4 oz) although Clinton gave him a run for the money. Several times.

4:14 am March, 29 DarkSock said...

Desperate to escape the overwheming reek of Axe and failure, Katie plunged her nose into the still-hot wax of the Wal-Mart apple-spice scented candle.

4:17 am March, 29 DarkSock said...

^ "…overwhelming…"

turd sump.

4:42 am March, 29 creature said...

I believe it's U S Grant… man could sock away barrels of whiskey, & reap the fields of wheat of many a lass

4:49 am March, 29 baleen said...

Wasn't LBJ flatulent often from refried beans? He probably had long narrow turds that reached so far into the toilent he couldn't see the other tapered end.

9:33 am March, 29 Steve L. said...

slathering on makeup to make yourself look like you're not under age? questionable portrait alright.

uh huh. uh huh.

oh and V for pedophile. because it totally works. or something.

11:56 am March, 29 Troy Tempest said...

I concur with Medusa. EXCELLENT candidate for "Crisis of Modernity". The drug abuse, the stupidity, the shallow self-centered consumerism, the ennui of continuous pleasure, the narcissism, the self-surveillance, it's all right here, in one picture of a mopey douchebag and his hammered bleeth.

12:26 pm March, 29 Dr.Scholls said...

@Wedgie

Gaijin is a Japanese term. The Japs are to expensive to make my skin tag remover. Yellow baastardos.

Dr.Scholl

1:03 pm March, 29 euripidouche said...

darksock you are leaving out the most epic even in presidential shit history.

the epic dump of calvin "the crapper snapper" cooledge. while technically, because it involved at least two toilets and one set of ladies bloomers (the prez liked to be coomfy, the white house was drafty, and his perfected taciturn demeanor meant he was the least likely person you would suspect)

epic in volume, duration, and mostly because it had multiple stated of poo, from the solid brick like turd that snapped the first water closet, to liquidy shotgun spray poo, and back to a more doughy poo, this is the poo that all presidents should be judged by….

she, on the otherhand wishes her little brother's friend would leave her alone….of course she is banging his father on the down low for bleeth-money, so she can't make too much out it.

1:35 pm March, 29 Hotspur said...

The tattoo on his arm is King Leonidis of Sparta

3:24 pm March, 29 Whoop-di-douche said...

Since neither school will 'fess up, go figure either Vermont or Virginia are scraping the barrel these days in the college admissions game.

3:30 pm March, 29 Whoop-di-douche said...

V, as in "void", as in where his brain used to be.

3:32 pm March, 29 Whoop-di-douche said...

The stagehands at The Met never miss an op to pilfer the Valkyriee and Valhalla rehearsal tees whenever Wagner is being staged.

3:35 pm March, 29 scrotum pole said...

DarkSock 9:10

Interesting facts, all.

I might also add that the highest recored presidential fecal density is held by Calvin Coolidge, who in 1927 shat a turd which tested out at an incredible 850 psi on a concrete compression test. (after curing.)

3:39 pm March, 29 Whoop-di-douche said...

Well frost my ass, but that's not a V, it's a black arrow surrounded by patterned figure-ground, and pointing to the intersection of two roads on a woody.

3:40 pm March, 29 Whoop-di-douche said...

"Mirror, mirror on the wall,
who's the fairest scum of all?"

3:54 pm March, 29 Fatness said...

Pretty sure the drapes do not match the carpet, and I'd bet that the carpet is a matted, trampled, filthy mess due to all the traffic.

7:08 pm March, 29 Jean-François (Lyo)'Tard said...

Is that really Archimedes? This strikes me as important.

Sure, a precocratic philosopher like Heraclitus or Parmenides would've scored more douche points, but Archimedes, not bad…

Archimedes rocks!

9:05 pm March, 29 Whoop-di-douche said...

Verily I say unto you, VERITAS DOUCHEASS TATTIUS.

9:14 am March, 30 Anonymous said...

Please look at the camera, if it looks like your with me ill add it to facebook then maybe other chicks will like me more.

12:54 pm March, 30 Anonymous said...

Archimedes tatt says "I'm a gentleman, and a scholar. Biatch"

1:17 pm March, 30 my freinds call me @$$hole said...

f' a v-card, this guy has a whole shirt… well, most of a shirt at least, i'm guessing she's not the one that tore the sleeves off it in a fit of passion, but then, who knows what might be in the cup?

she looks like amy winehouse, not sure that counts as HC, got the DB part on lock-down though

10:32 pm March, 31 Douchie Howser, M.D. said...

V-bag is a turd. V-bag is dense.

His Archimedes tatt is thusly apropos, since said scholar's eponymous principle dictates that V-bag would certainly sink to the bottom of any toilet.

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