Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Rayon Archie and Candi


It’s like an awkward mashup of Warhol’s Factory passed through the digestive tract of strip club retro chic.

While Rayon Archie may be grinning, and may seem an innocuous Oldbag, there is no excuse for that shirt.

Candi makes my lapsed colonics jigger a dancing hoo-ha.

Yup.

Making no sense yet again and again. All this learning “WordPress” and preparing HCwDB for the new site is takin’ it’s toll. It really is just a glorious tasty Hostess sugar rush, people. Pity me. For I am suffering from what Jung terms “Suckle thigh Complex.” The need to find boobie hottie and paw.

# posted by admin
10:27 am March, 9 Bagnonymous said...

Cool feature with the backward- and forward-navigating links up top, boss!

Is there a feature that makes the Hott in this pic come to life, ditch the choad, and start dancing like a hotter version of this?

10:28 am March, 9 Perez Hilton said...

Hey, that’s my shirt!

10:32 am March, 9 Bagnonymous said...

Smelliot Gould

10:33 am March, 9 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

When I was a kid I had a pencil pouch made out of that guy’s shirt.

10:43 am March, 9 Colossus of Choads said...

Hottest Hot ever.

Rowr!

10:48 am March, 9 RichyinUK said...

Candi is indeed hot, old men in plastic shirts should stay away from hottness, for molten rayon can cause nasty injury.

With any luck.

10:56 am March, 9 Just Sayin said...

Candi was last hot when she was 14 and putting out. When other girls started putting out, Candi… not so much.

10:56 am March, 9 Maxim Kovalenko said...

@Mr. Scrotato Head

You weren’t the only one. Just looking at at that thing is painful.

11:03 am March, 9 douche douchestofferson said...

wow, nice place u got here

11:12 am March, 9 End the Haberdouchery said...

She has Jay Leno’s chin before he got fat. He tries too hard. Their co-mingling only stirs up a plaintive sigh on this Tuesday morning.

11:22 am March, 9 Baleen said...

I would love to make Candi a souffle and then watch her eat it.

Archie gets the scorching cast iron skillet wordpressed to his face.

11:39 am March, 9 Douchetastic said...

That’s Andrew “McLovin” Perloff, a staffer on the “Dan Patrick Show”. I think he’s responsible for their blog. I think the chick is an SI Swimsuit Issue model. He got to go on their private plane and attend the issue release party. Still doesn’t excuse the shirt.

11:40 am March, 9 FLSTC01 said...

Maybe my monitor has some kind of weird warp but man, that jaw on Candi is just frightening!

11:41 am March, 9 A said...

That’s SI Swimsuit Cover Brooklyn Decker with the Dan Patrick Show’s McLovin

11:42 am March, 9 Fartalicious said...

This is, in fact, the SI cover model, Brooklyn Decker. I can’t say I recognize the douche. Isn’t he that actor from Saved by the Bell?

11:46 am March, 9 Steve-o said...

That’s Andrew “McLovin” Perloff. Guy is hilarious and I’ll tell you what – any guy who can pull off a shirt like that deserves to have Brooklyn Decker on his arm

11:50 am March, 9 (fake)McLovin said...

That’s me (not the real) McLovin and the beautiful Brooklyn Decker SI Swimsuit Model…not cool guys not cool. I prefer GEEK & not Dbag  Dodge balls to all of you

11:58 am March, 9 casual observer said...

Notice his left hand in a fist on her back. It’s OK, man. You can touch her. The worst Andy Roddick could do is try to serve tennis balls at you. Beyond that, he’s got nothing.

12:00 pm March, 9 Crucial Head said...

I would like to add, that that is Brooklyn Decker. She’s a swimsuit model. And that’s McLovin’. Someone who is apparently funny.

12:07 pm March, 9 Chris Spade said...

Yeah, as others figured out.. that is McLovin and Brooklyn Decker from Sports Illustrated.

The shirt is clearly a goof (if you knew him)… The same with Decker hanging all over him.

12:08 pm March, 9 douche ex machina said...

Pretty sure it’s Brooklyn Decker, not sure who the dude is. It seems the more I see Brooklyn Decker the less hot she becomes, I’ll take Marisa Miller anyday.

12:09 pm March, 9 Captain Bringdown said...

This is going to almost as painful as Christmas as Gator’s mother’s nursing home.

12:11 pm March, 9 Captain Bringdown said...

This choad is like a 1960’s diner: stools covered in awful plastic.

12:13 pm March, 9 Bagnonymous said...

Since nobody’s mentioned it yet, that’s actually SI swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker.

Jeez, do I have to explain everything around here?

12:13 pm March, 9 euripidouche said...

brooklyn eh? id welcome back her kotter, take her to the whore shack, make some boom-boom washington, let my woodman bounced between her barbarino’s.

12:18 pm March, 9 Ludacris Axehandle McCockkwielder said...

Wait. So that is NOT Matt Stafford???????//?

12:22 pm March, 9 Anonymous said...

Fuck I’m stupid

12:24 pm March, 9 Rev. Captain Bringdown said...

SO fucking stupid. So I make an account in WordPress. How do I log in so I don’t have to keep typing my Nom de Stool for every comment?

1:20 pm March, 9 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Euripidouche 12:13

*snork* Awesome.

That shirt is too gaudy for Divine.

And to make sure my hyperlinking is working, Sherilynn asked me to post this hot-ass pic of her I took this morning. Isn’t she a card?

1:36 pm March, 9 Crucial Head said...

Dammit!

My cover has been blown. Guess you have to use a different email when you log in as ‘someone’ else.

Ah, the growing pains of WordPress.

Kind of like the growing ‘thing’ in my lap.

1:50 pm March, 9 massengill said...

@ Crucial/Ludacris

FAILICOPTERZ!!! LOL!1!

1:50 pm March, 9 massengill said...

Hmmm

1:51 pm March, 9 massengill said...

So that is how it works, you type in your email address, and then it puts your little gravitard there…

1:51 pm March, 9 massengill said...

Test.

2:42 pm March, 9 Deltus said...

That shirt just reeks of fail. I bet 9 out of 10 choadwanks, and I mean dyed-in-the-wool douchebags, wouldn’t touch that shirt. It takes a real special kind of taint-stain to even touch such a shirt. Only one way to fix this:

RELEASE THE HOUNDS!

2:53 pm March, 9 Vin Douchal said...

This thread is hilarious. Crucial’s fumbling around and Rev Captain Bringdown? LOL!

And I never type “LOL!” not even if I ROFLMFAO .

Oh and I think the clock is wrong, however if anyone is an hour ahead in the future, please be a love and e-mail me the winners at Santa Anita tomorrow about oh, 2-ish? Thank you

3:00 pm March, 9 TwittLink - Your headlines on Twitter said...

[…] Tweets about this great post on TwittLink.com […]

3:07 pm March, 9 massengill said...

Brooklyn Decker ain’t gonna nothing on Roshumba.

4:36 pm March, 9 Anonymous said...

So how does this work?

5:37 pm March, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Dude, seriously, don’t wear avaiator shades. They make your nose look even bigger.

5:38 pm March, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So WTF is an avaiator? A dumbass who can’t post correctly that’s who

6:16 pm March, 9 Jimmy said...

Chick is smoking hot

7:21 pm March, 9 Blobfish said...

Archie knew that if he could shnaggle Candi home, she surely would be impressed with his matching jacket n’ bowling balls.

8:22 pm March, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

Look like Owen Wilson hasn’t aged to well and is trying to channel Liam Gallagher from Oasis

12:19 am March, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

She’s smokin’ blue-hott. His shirt is slipperier than White Castle Sliders, and about the same color too if they were urped.

2:02 am March, 10 Steve L. said...

she is no candy. she is a flesh-rending witch with a vagina dentata.

and i’d still bang her regardless of what will happen to my cock.

but hey, at least i’m not Rayon Archie.

9:36 am March, 10 DarkSock said...

I wish I had a horse made out of that shirt.

11:57 am March, 20 crimper hair said...

Fine fascinating post. Got me realise I was completely incorrectly about this issue. I think one learns something fresh daily. Mrs Right taken her lesson! Good illuminating blog by the way. Appreciate your blog -Elizabeth

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