Reader Mail: Tagging a Scrotomobile
—-
To Mr. Douchebag1:
I know this picture contains nary a hotte or a even the visual presence of a douchebag’s posing to Satan’s delight, however the picture is most worthy of your site. By Christ on his throne, a Hummer with a custom paint job on elevated wheels and a vanity plate that says 4UHAYTR . . . it is utmost douchbaggery!
When I saw this abomination on the road I knew I had to take the risk of getting caught by the police and break California’s prohibition against touching a mobile phone while on the road and take a picture of this afront to God and all that is good and holy with my mobile phone’s camera. At this same intersection my own brother previously paid several hundred dollars for doing what I had done to get this picture.
As in all wars previous, the war against the douchebaggery needs sacrifice to ensure victory. I figuratively jumped on a grenade to get this picture, and luckily for me the grenade was a dud.
Stay well,
LT. Haytr4Life
—
Anyone who thinks our war on choadpocalyptic visions like this one is over, think again. We must keep mocking. If not for the children, then for the suckle thigh.
way to take one for the team, lt.
Sweet ride! I bet quality whobags are really attracted to rides like that.
If I had a hummer, I would lower it, skateboard it, and call it the g ride.
Pimpin all y’all should be painted across the front windshield.
I worry that the War on Chode is one that cannot be won, yet also a war we can not afford to lose. Like the war on drugs or terrorism, the mere fact that we fight only perpetuates the cycle by drawing attention to it. By waging the war in the first place, we force many who were neutral to take sides; some for our benefit, and some hotties are lost to the other side.
I worry that this is a war that has no end in sight, yet I must remain optimistic that there is one.
@ clam fist
If you had a hummer, It’d be from a dude.
What should be against the law is driving such a gas-guzzling ego monument in these times. Contents: choad and or/ bleeth.
Sorry dude, I couldn’t resist responding to “If I had a hummer…”
You can’t just softball it in there like that and expect someone not to be all over that sheeeit!
Big car – little dick
I rode in a Hummer limo in Vegas. I also received a hummer in a Hummer. Good times, Good times.
Little car = littler dick?
Pinto = horse dick?
Taurus = bull dick?
El Camino = Mexican dick?
I can only see 1 comment?
I prefer a Camaro.
4UHAYTR:
4 Uneducated Honkies Always Yankin’ The Rod?
Oh wait, that SUV belongs to Plinky’s Mom:
4 Uncut Hectares of Asshole Yearning Thick Rods
If I had a hummer, I’d hummer in the morning
I’d hum ‘her in the evening, all over this land….
–
–
–
–
Maxima= tiny dick?
Probe= penetrating dick?
Prius= no dick!
4UHAYTR:
4 Uncircumcized Homosexual Assholes Yodeling The Root
4 Unrepentent Hebrews Attending a Yemini Terrorist Reunion.
Wow. Because a stock Hummer wasn’t douchewanky enough. They got that bitch custom painted, AND raised, AND the douchiest license plate in all of California, a state I’m certain is full of douchey custom plates.
Lt., you didn’t have spare ordinance on you? Shame. When you see choadscrote that concentrated, you gotta nuke them from orbit. Only way to be sure… they don’t pass their genes onto future generations.
Wait…how embarrassing: This is actually my SUV: that tag stands for “4 Ur Horse’s Ass: The Yellow River”.
4 Unsanitary Hookers Always Yank Their Rectums.
You could haul a lot of porch beef in that truck.
4 Undulating Ho Ass Transexual Yogurt Riders
Big Hat == No Cattle.
I hope runs over a Prius.
4 Underpowered Hyundai’s Always Yeild To Roadgraders
I pooped on a hummer once
the ‘r’ dropped outta my ass
pee nut gallery, how do I add my av?
If you look closely, you can see a Prius stuck up under the differential. And a couple of hookers too. Gas in SoCal is $3.50 a gallon, so it only costs around a hunski to fill this pig up. Consumes most of dude’s after tax earnings from the donut shop.
Haytrs.
I wish I had some stickers that said “Sorry about your penis” that I could slap on the drivers side windows of cars like this.
This is precisely why I’m having an RPG launcher mounted on the hood of my car. And I opted out of the chrome trim on it.
@ Guns n Douches 2:47–If you don’t do it, I will.
@ Darksock & Scrotum Pole–You two piss excellence and never cross the streams. I can’t compete. But someone’s gotta come in last.
4 Ulcerated Hemorrhoids Around Your Tired Rectum
4UHAYTR
4 Under His Ass, Yon Turd Remains….
4 Ugly, Hairy Asswipes Yearn To Ride
4 Unprecedented Hair Attainment Y’all Try Rogaine
I’d like to lift that Hummer another 4 feet above the road. Using Semtex.
Medusa beat me to the RPG launcher. My thoughts exactly. Sigh.
I’m too tired to try. Back to typing scholarly nonsense. double sigh.
The photographer/writer of this missive should realize that by virtue of this vehicle, and the douchebag driving it, that there is no God.
Fiero
few
inside
ever
reciprocated an
orgasm
4UHAYTR
–
4 Unwashed Hippies Are Yelling Tired Rhetoric,
–
4 Uncircumsized Heathens Always Yearning To Repent.
–
4 Unicorn Horns Attack Your Torn Rectum.
I can finally see HCwDB!! I think the placeholder just doesn’t agree with my Crackberry but I can see it on my laptop 🙂
Wheee!
Also, I hate Hummers. I cringe when I see them. Which is far too often.
I like the hummer golf carts.
@Jacques
I thought you asked me not to talk about that?
I f*cked a Hummer in the tail pipe. I suggest you try it before you judge me.
4 useless hopeless american youth toking reefer
@creatue
You beat me to it. I always wanted to poop in a Hummer.
4 ugnoxious hubicrites annoyed you’re on their road
Shouldn’t that read “4Q HAYTER”, not “4U…”?
i do believe that someone has discovered the only non-douchey application of the suffix “4Life”.
and that particular someone was not me!
now i’m jealous.
This about sums up my sentiments:
http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/1856/2130/1600/773992/hummer_accident.jpg
4 Undersexed Hummer AssBelches Yank Troy’s ‘roids.
4 Under-fucked Hamster Assailants Yield Torched Rmps.
Errr…”Rumps”…..
…damn late to the party but drunk enough to offer this:
4 Useless Herpe-filled Asshats Yawp To Raccoonbleeths
4 Undulating Hamsters Achieve Yon Trip Rectally
…glug glug, puke…sleep.
4 U Haul Accidents Yield Toyota Recall
Were it 1997, this asshole would have a “Fear This” windshield visor and a “Bad Boy Club” decal on the rear window.
And he’d still be a jagoff.
^ Were it 1977, this rig would be tricked out with a CB radio and Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
^ OH yeah, and those mud flaps would say “Back Off!”
4 Undersexed Happy Asses Yearn To Roadsterbate
4 Uneducated Hillbillies Abhor Yankee Traffic Regulations
And the war continues in the streets. This A*L’s Hummer’s side doors are the perfect canvass for graffiti like: JST4UDB
re. Darksock 3/13 @ 12:56 & 1:20: That’s some freekin funny shit, my man. LOLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZ
i just set up yahoo tourney pick’em join group #87187 hotchicks with d-bags. they might censor douchebags, but they won’t censor the group motto “i peed in a horse once”.
even if you don’t know or give a shit about it, pick your teams by whatever means necessary, hottest chicks, douchiest bags,animal that would win in a fight….lets evangelize the scourge to heathen sports fan masses, simply by being there, and peeing in horses….
@ Medusa 3:10
ALWAYS get the chrome plating. You’d hat to have a misfire because of any rust build-up in the firing tube. If you can’t get the chrome, at least paint it. If you needs some more rockets, let me know. I have er… access to a few.
The only thing missing there are the “Truck Nuts”.
Ugh.