Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Sweet Home Alabagma


Where the guys are so poo…

EDIT: In the comments threads, bagnonymous traces the origins of this pic to the celebration of a traditional Doucheish holiday:

—-
These choads have emblazoned their chests with the Mark of the Douche in observance of the holy day, Assover.

Assover coincides with the anniversary of HCwDB, a day in which baghunters collectively wipe their asses on tattoo-graphic-printed tees, a form of ironically mocking the shit-stains who actually wear such shirts. Aware of this trend against their people, though, Douches worldwide began to emblazon their shirts with the Mark of the Bag–a shit-stain of sorts–as a mark to the ‘baghunters to skip their shirts. A sort of, “Yo, don’t shit-stain me, Bro!”, if you will.

This holy day is commonly celebrated by practicing traditions such as “Pass the STD”, a game in which dudes outnumber the whobags by 50%, and yet somehow everybody gets laid. Other games include “Don’t Peek into the Gloryhole”, which requires the use of protective eyewear (as seen in the photo), as well as “What’s in My Red Cup? F*ck It I’ll Drink it Anyway.”
—-

# posted by admin
8:59 pm March, 30 Business-Casual Douche said...

The leftmost douchebag looks like a Dragonball Z character on VH1's Behind the Music.

9:01 pm March, 30 El Caganer said...

Love the Swayback.

9:02 pm March, 30 Thus Spake Zaradouchestra said...

Three choads with meaningless "designs" on their upper left part of their shirt. Is that arrow pointing to the Red Cup or his dick?

9:03 pm March, 30 El Caganer said...

If she laid on her stomach her back could hold a quart of your beverage of choice.

9:13 pm March, 30 Mitch Cumstein said...

It's like they were having a douch-off contest and they all won.

9:14 pm March, 30 Mitch Cumstein said...

*douchE-off you douche.

9:21 pm March, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Is that you STEVE L?!?!

9:21 pm March, 30 clam fist said...

Chick in pink gives off a school teacher vibe.

9:54 pm March, 30 Bagnonymous said...

These choads have emblazoned their chests with the Mark of the Douche in observance of the holy day, Assover.

Assover coincides with the anniversary of HCwDB, a day in which baghunters collectively wipe their asses on tattoo-graphic-printed tees, a form of ironically mocking the shit-stains who actually wear such shirts. Aware of this trend against their people, though, Douches worldwide began to emblazon their shirts with the Mark of the Bag–a shit-stain of sorts–as a mark to the 'baghunters to skip their shirts. A sort of, "Yo, don't shit-stain me, Bro!", if you will.

This holy day is commonly celebrated by practicing traditions such as "Pass the STD", a game in which dudes outnumber the whobags by 50%, and yet somehow everybody gets laid. Other games include "Don't Peek into the Gloryhole", which requires the use of protective eyewear (as seen in the photo), as well as "What's in My Red Cup? F*ck It I'll Drink it Anyway."

10:04 pm March, 30 Anonymous said...

Looks like a TJMaxx mailer

10:06 pm March, 30 Chad Kroeger said...

Good one Bagnonymous.

The only thing good about Alabama is the Synyrd song, fucking your sister, and Hunt's Oyster Bar in Dothan.

But I'm Canadian so what the fuck do I know. Nice Swayback.

10:08 pm March, 30 Chad Kroeger said...

I mean Skynyrd. And that is probably wrong. Fuck I'm drunk.

10:15 pm March, 30 doucheywallnuts said...

Whatever happened to the International Male line of clothing? They were Ed Hardy before before Ed Hardy.

Aha, I found that they are now Undergear…a cut-rate Ed Hardy. Which nicely sums up these douchebags and bleeths.

http://www.undergear.com/Dept/SHIRTS/D-1010/navtheme/dept/Ns/p_productId&cm_sp=SBD-_-link-_-shirts

10:19 pm March, 30 Douchie Howser, M.D. said...

On our left: Spawn of the unholy pairing of Kim Jong-il and Vanilla Ice

10:20 pm March, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

One of these things is not like the other

Can you tell me which are the same,

One of these things is not like the other

I forget the rest of that song so bugger off…

What we have here is the rarest picture that's ever been on the site: an entire douche family stalking an innocent.

All three douches in the picture are related. As evidence:

Left douche = youngest son

Middle douche = daddy dearest

Right most douche = oldest son

Chick in black = only daughter

Chick in pink = hapless victim/youngest douche's algebra teacher.

Now Marlin Perkins, oh wait…Now Steve Irwin, shit… Some assfuck from Animal Planet jumps down the stairs, tranquilizes all the douches + bleeth with spiked bottles of Corona and then whisks away Mrs. Pink to his double-wide where a night of animal passion ensues. And by animal passion I mean a stop at Burger King and then a handshake goodnight.

10:29 pm March, 30 Anonymous said...

The Boobs Have Eyes. The Devil's Relapse. The Alabama Douchebag Massacre. Debooberance.

10:29 pm March, 30 Anonymous said...

The Boobs Have Eyes. The Devil's Relapse. The Alabama Douchebag Massacre. Debooberance.

10:29 pm March, 30 Anonymous said...

The Boobs Have Eyes. The Devil's Relapse. The Alabama Douchebag Massacre. Debooberance.

11:11 pm March, 30 Wedgie said...

Looks like Stevie L's evil twin on the left.

Quick, Steve, grab the brunettes titties. She's sticking them out so nicely for you.

Thanks, bud.

Oh, yeah….lose that stupid shirt, too.

11:29 pm March, 30 Bagnonymous said...

Thanks for the post, DB1! I can attest that the historical reference is completely true–you know, 'cause I'm circumcised and all.

11:32 pm March, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

Pink Sarah will hopefully escape with her life. Raquel, hopefully, will not. Jeebus, she radiates crazy skankwaves.

Dude on the right is in Chess club.

Dude in the middle is a P.E. teacher.

Dude on the left dropped out.

11:32 pm March, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

BTW, Bagnonymous, that was beautiful.

11:55 pm March, 30 Bob said...

*applause for Bagnonymous' beautifully told research into a high holy bag holiday*

Hott in black, although possessed of one WICKED back arch, does scare me with the Bleeth vibes. Pinky there is just all kinds of tasty.

12:18 am March, 31 Southern Scrotic said...

Pink on the left is beautiful.

1:02 am March, 31 Troy Tempest said...

This has got to be posed. A set up. I can't image that 5 people at random would find themselves dressed like this in a private home.

If it is true, fuck. I'm goin' out and buying a Hummer and a 35 foot power boat and some big ass McMansion and live large, just to help push civilisation completely over the edge and guarantee that these douchewanks end up dying of exposure in some transit camp in North Dakota as society comes unglued and people start eating their neighbours.

3:02 am March, 31 DarkSock said...

I've already got my eatin' neighbors picked out. Every now and then we invite them over for BBQ to keep them fattened up.

3:06 am March, 31 DarkSock said...

Word,'Troy.

I've already got my eatin' neighbors picked out. Every now and then we invite them over for BBQ to keep them fattened up.

3:15 am March, 31 Mr. Bagoo said...

Douchie Howard @3:19 — Holy mother of Douche, you nailed it!

3:22 am March, 31 Denny DelVecchio said...

They seem to lean heavily on their Miles Davis shades indoors.

Is it a corollary that they rock welders' helmets when (if) exposed to the sun?

Yours in Love,
Denny DelVecchio
yournewbadhabit.blogspot.com

4:38 am March, 31 Douchble Helix said...

God bless the little black dress.

5:32 am March, 31 Medusa Oblongata said...

Word @ Troy and DarkSock. I wept with joy when BK introduced this fried bypass. I wanna make sure the flank steaks on my neighbors are well-marbled.

5:35 am March, 31 Whoop-di-douche said...

When Seder meets the Jewish American Princess, this is the result.

5:45 am March, 31 baleen said...

Well at least the house has nice decor.

5:50 am March, 31 baleen said...

The dude on left has a sweet mom. She cashed in her coupons for extra Wisk so she could get the cum stains out of his shirt.

5:52 am March, 31 baleen said...

The dude on the right reluctantly does his own laundry, by all appearances.

7:59 am March, 31 euripidouche said...

@medusa, the beauty of my plan is, it encompasses parts of your plan…

my plan is, we are going to take a walmart, like nino brown taking over the carver….

we might have enough preseved shit inside that we never even get to the cannibal phase, except on special occasions.

8:36 am March, 31 Steve L. said...

it sure took HCwDB a long time to invoke the term Alabagma.

that in and of itself is noteworthy.

3:43 pm March, 31 Bob said...

I had never considered which of my neighbors I'd first like to eat. You want them fat, but not *too* fat. You want them to have some muscle and flesh, but not *too* much muscle or they're hard to kill. Hmmm, gonna have to put some serious thought into this.

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