Friday, March 12, 2010
The Purple Nurples Are Now Fondling Themselves
Mayday!! Mayday!! Someone, anyone in the military who reads HCwDB…
Please. For the love of God, the infant Jebus, and all that is holy to Buddha, Allah, Xenu and Ganesh.
Please. Call in a compressed air strike. Using a mixture of choloroform and laughing gas. It’s the only way to giggle them to death.
Oh, they’re just milking this thing now.
sorry
In Soviet Russia, YOU push up bra.
Mark sulked jealously because he had no external genitalia to cradle publicly.
The newest Olympic event, milk curling, was off to a big start.
Rancid. Clubs are dark because light kills bacteria like this.
Darlene and Sandy were extremely nervous ever since receiving the recall notice from their plastic surgeon.
“Does this make me look fat?”
Yes, hon. It does.
Now back in line. Maury can’t start the show with you standing here.
The following medical conditions are some of the possible causes of blue or purple lips. There are likely to be other possible causes, so ask your doctor about your symptoms.
* Cold weather
* Low body temperature
* Cyanosis
* Inadequate oxygen circulation
* Smoking
* Anemia
* Iron deficiency anemia
* Certain circulatory disorders (see Circulation symptoms)
* Certain heart disorders (see Heart symptoms)
o Congenital heart disorders
* Certain lung disorders
o Asthma
o Bronchitis
o Chronic bronchitis
o Pneumonia
o Emphysema
o Pulmonary thrombosis
o Pulmonary embolism
o Pulmonary edema
o Airway foreign body
o Fibrosing alveolitis
o Pneumoconiosis
o Extrinsic allergic alveolitis
* Coughing
* Croup
* Fume inhalation
* Laryngeal edema
* Shock
* Being a douchebag
Todd Goldman: Dairy Pimp.
They cup their breats and yet, AND YET, he is still not happy.
I want to say “Urge to kill……rising…” But I think it’s all the way up to 11 at this point.
^”breasts”
Can I haz asspear yet?
@Medusa
Is that you? I can’t tell, your gravatar is the size of an acid tab. Seriously, I’m gonna need a magnifying glass to see who’s really posting comments.
Then I’m gonna use it to burn a hole through Pinky’s forehead. You guess which one I’m talking about.
You were right.
I knew I’d seen this guy before …
CLICK
btw Vin, great haiku this morning.
Fuscia Lips and Nip Slips
Do the lips match the areola?
or the porch beef?
WordPress just told me to fuck off! WTF?!
“You are posting comments too quickly. Slow down.”
I vill help you find Ganesh.
Ve vill help you find Ganesh
Captain Bringdown, please add “Blowing Grape Ape” to your list.
I am often confused with Ganesh…. stupid Brits …
And that’s when the photographer said, “Girls, for this next frame, touch the only thing of value in your lives.”
Captain Bringdown, please add “Fellating Vanilla Ice” to your list.
Hot Chicks with Ganesh
I think he fellated the Purple People Eater… ifyaknowhutimean.
Damn work, and damn meeting scheduling, and damn my inability to make it to Friday Haikus for the last month.
Damn, damn, damn.
Additionally, boobs.
Winter Haven, FL (AP Newswire) – Bill Hall has been signed to a one year deal by the Boston Red Sox . Pictured in photo Hall and his agent, Ganesh.
Captain Bringdown, please add “Rimming Welch’s” to your list.
Now everybody show the camera what daddy bought you for your eighteenth birthday!
@ Crucial
I refuse to work until I exhaust all the Ganesh references I can think of
I swear, they look like they just got done deep-throating a bottle of grape nehi.
Ganesh on acid
Megyn Kelly looking hot on FoxNewsNet this morning
<a href="http://www.oneangryman.com/ken/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/megyn_kelly_tv6-300×228.jpgShe's ready for Happy Hour
Stoopid no preview idea
She’s ready for Happy Hour
Sttopid no delete idea
How do I get my picture back?
I quit. See you later at Ass Pear
@ Scrotato 9:33
It is indeed, I changed avatars to herald in the new site. Kind of a waste, I guess since you can’t really see it. But if it really were a tab of acid, it would be the meanest shit on the streets. “Man, I took two hits of that Medusa acid last night! I beat myself senseless with a length of rubber garden hose for seven hours!”
I, too, have the problem of image recognition, I kinda like to see who I’m reading, and, well, I’ve gotten so familiar with all of your avatars, it’s hard to navigate without ’em. And then I have to quit being a lazy pud and actually read your names. Awwww, why’s everything in life gotta be so hard…
…But back to the photo. Dear God: If I ever have children, please don’t let them be girls. And if they’re boys, please don’t ever let them get so big and strong that if they turn out like this I can’t smother ’em with a pillow in their sleep. Amen.
I want the scrote to know who mocks them!!! I don’t want to hide behind that gay gray anon profile pic!
I need some tech support.
Larger avatars, preview and delete will all be integrated in the comments thread. Patience people. Ass Pear will soon be here.
– management
@ Vin
Speaking of Ganesh and acid tabs and Ganesh–the first time I ever did LSD we went to a video arcade and I was playing the old Street Fighter. It all kicked in just as I got Dhalsim in his temple. I was seeing mystical elephants all night. True story. Ah, good times.
Thanks DB1, that’s both calming and exciting. Like grass & bourbon.
Annika and Solveig were kicked off the Swedish Bikini Team for chronic mastitis.
Medusa’s avatar appears to be a sample of mixotrophic algae, as seen through a 1000x microscope.
@Boatbutter,
I would counter that it is both calming and exciting… like gas and bourbon… or whiskey.
This picture made this happen to me:
Nothing is as exciting as unsquelched flatulence.
Nothing.
@ Crucial – fair enough. I’m just glad to be back in identifiable business.
And looking as handsome as ever, I might add.
^ Video, please. With lots of oil. Thanks, guys.
So Mr. White was able to reclaim his nom-de-poo. Good on you. I wonder how many regulars and semi-regulars have moved on to new names voluntarilly or involuntarilly? I’ve read several names that I hadn’t seen before the change but I think only a couple have self identified.
Speaking of the Change, I’m starting to grow hair on my nipples and I’m way f*cking more irritable than I was a week ago. Irritable I can handle, but hairy nipples, I’d rather have purple lips.
No wait. Check that.
Boss,
Glad to hear our formating demands will be met. To continue my petulant whining, can the comments field be upgraded to allow additional spacing between text lines? I miss my pregnant pauses almost as much as I miss http://www.preggersinstirrupswithlillipopspeculums.com. Not that was quality fwapping.
Unimpressed by these breasts. Keep pushing, girls. You can push all day.
@Mr. Scrotato Head
Apparently you can type whatever damn think you want in the name field. Witness.
Yeah, now I’m Medusa’s sister.
Hey, I’m Medusa’s other sister, the hottest Gorgon by far, bitches.
I thought I fuccen slayed Medusa. Damn it!
In fact, I think you can impersonate just about anyone….
Stage 2 though those Bleeths may be, and as horrible as that pink lip gloss NOW looks to me (thanks to THIS TOOL), I still say being in such close proximity would at least put a grim on my face. But not this choadstain. Stoic expression all the way. I mean, is he trying to look manly? With fucking LIP GLOSS on?? You never have a chainsaw on hand when you could really, really use one.
Look at me! I pee in equines!
It kind of makes me sad that the lack of logging in means you can be whoever you want. There might be mayhem.
I might even be able to paste Darksock’s URL in here. Let’s see.
Yep. Now I’m indistinguishable from ‘Sock, except for my Gravatar. Which I could easily change by just copying and pasting his.
The new comment thread program seems better. I guess I will have to get around to creating an avatar. Any tips on which type of images work best? I thought a picture of my toilet would be fitting.
Yeah, the security on WordPress comments is leakier than these bleeths’ weeping vulvic sores.
Now I’m Mr. White’s mother.
CLEAN YOUR ROOM!
Awe sheeeit. Mr. White done opened pandora’s box.
I love George Bush!!!!
What you could do is just make a bunch of bogus email accounts, set up a bunch of Gravatar accounts with the avatars of people you want to impersonate, then type in their name and the corresponding dummy email address and LET THE TROLLING BEGIN!
Okay, enough fun stuff.
@ Mr. White’s multiple personalities:
Dude, that’s wack. Yet another WordPress FAIL.
I’m Bagnonymous and I approved this message.
WordPress sucks.
Where did all the double, triple and quadruple posts go????//???
@ crucial
I just tried to copy and paste your previous post, WordPress rebuked me so:
Duplicate comment detected; it looks as though you’ve already said that!
Stop talking about my box, damn it!
Agent Orange is both the name of douchebag’s skin bronzer and what he uses to remove his chest hair.
@ Medusa
Where can we meet up to start our tour of world destruction? These last two days have made me want to tear the spines out of the 3 fucksticks in this picture using only my teeth and a spork. If one more nimrod comes up to me and asks, “Can I talk to you about…” I’m gonna go fuccen postal. And my firearms are all at home. FTW! (I mena nothing about winning here.)
^ and I’ve lost the ability to type as well. I need a fuccen drink stat!
Huh, you can use any URL you want for that matter.
Hell, this is fun.
Weeeeeeee!!
Sniff…sniff…Anyone smell that?
As the grey, rotting flesh of Plinky’s mom hung from the mounted harpoon in the rear, Captain Gayhab prepared his steroid-enhanced Croaker and Shrimp for his next chum bucket.
The set for The Flacid and the Curious.
Something with blue eyes, orange skin and orchid pink lips belongs in an Easter basket. So do those two bunnies.
@ Euryale
Maybe. But you can’t fuck worth a damn, you dead fish whoreface. At least that’s what your old man said when he was plugging the hole in my neck last night from when Perseus severed my head. Yeah! I got an extra hole now, Bugsnatch, whaddaya think of that? Oh, and by the way? That ham you made for Christmas sucked BALLS!!! And your kids are brats. Fuck you, and dad told me I’m getting everything in the will.
Uh……
Oh.
Sorry, Mr. White, I didn’t know that was you…..
douche-face has been on the site before i’m almost sure, too overworked to go digging, but this ain’t his first time at the rodeo…
@ Mr. White:
Wait, I’m confused…are you me, or am I you, but posting while whacked out on Ambien again? Who’s Crucial?
Do I exist….?
@ El Caganer 11:22
Make sure you can see what it is if it’s teeny, you can see from those of us who have a lot going on, the image is indecipherable for the now. And I always wondered about your handle (no, your name, not your–oh, never mind)–Many words draw parallels across the romance languages, the “El” is clearly Spanish, and I can assume “Caganer” has relation to the Italian “cagare”, basically “to shit”? In that case, you can go crude or cute, depending on your mood….
@Medusa
Thanks for the tip. My name is basically taken from a figurine from Catalonia. They put them in Nativity scenes there. Everyone has at least one. It basically means “the defecator”. Google my handle and you can get a better explanation.
If Cornelius from Planet of the Apes had taken a turn in Velvet Goldmine.
As requested, in the correct format.
***Slayer this is Douche_Jager, Fire Mission, Over.
***Douche_Jager, call for fire continues: My position 250m west of dance club, Over.
***Douche_Jager, call for fire continues: Direction 1650 mils, 270m, 1 x Douche, 2 x Douchette, Over.
***Douche_Jager, call for fire continues: Target marked by drifting cloud of Axe body spray, type “Wild Spice”, Over.
***Douche_Jager, call for fire continues: At my command, winchester all munitions, suppress target area, Out.
there can only be ONE Donkey Douche.
and i do not mean that as a compliment.
I’ve been returning to this photo over & over trying to put some thoughts together, but the Dada ‘bag/bleeth avalanche continues to largely defy appraisal in any known language. The sheer over-the-top mystical schlock horror is mindnumbing. However, during this most recent time spent gazing into this vacuum-where-no-intelligence-can-happen has caused me to begin repeating the following mantra: “Needle-dicked bugfucker.” Not sure why. And yes, I am a bit hyphen-happy today.