Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Purple Nurples

Some days, I just should’ve stayed in bed.

# posted by douchebag1
7:57 am March, 10 Euripidouche said...

all three of them took turns blowing the nesquik bunny

8:52 am March, 10 Sad Party Karaoke Robot said...

It looks like CVS was having a special on lip gloss.

9:14 am March, 10 Soy Bomb said...

Nail her, nail gun, nail her

9:14 am March, 10 DarkSock said...

Todd, Cindy and Linda learned a hard lesson about performing analingus immediately after asshole bleaching sessions.

9:22 am March, 10 DarkSock said...

you had me at “Scrotometer”.

9:22 am March, 10 DarkSock said...

My Name Is Url

9:26 am March, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

One would think young Chuck Norris would be more happy to spend his time with the frying nuns.

9:33 am March, 10 DarkSock said...

Thanks to Vaginaplasty Flesh Donors like Plinky’s Mom, today’s Youth will never have to suffer from chapped lips again.*

*Note: Side effects may include monthly blood vomitting, involuntary “goatee” growth and tongue/throat yeast infections.

9:35 am March, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

If there’s going to be a scrotometer than I demand a hottiemeter whereby I plunk in my hard earned quarters and dimes and Francine bounds onto the interwebs for 10 minutes of my personal pleasure. And by my personal pleasure I mean Palmolive and a squeegie.

9:43 am March, 10 jonezy said...

as we embark on HCwDB 2.0, let us take a moment to reflect on the humble beginnings. For instance, here is a quote from DB1’s 4th post ever:

“Heck, I can barely update this blog daily, let alone put together a douchebag award. But if I did, this douchebag would win it. “

9:47 am March, 10 DarkSock said...

Might as well add in a Poopometer also. Or a scratch and sniff feature. That could be a double edged sword though.

9:49 am March, 10 DarkSock said...

“This just in…The “Early Bird Bandits” have struck again; this time at a Michigan Denny’s. The victims, 2 elderly ladies, reported that they were knocked away from their walkers by two “slatternly trollops” who then absconded with their large wrap-around sunglasses.”

10:03 am March, 10 Deltus said...

There was a time when I found the glow-pink lip gloss or lip stick (whatever) to be appealing looking on the hotts. Now that I’ve seen it on Choady McWankface there, that’s been ruined. And I don’t mean just this picture. I mean, never again will I be able to look at hott with glowy pink lips and find myself liking it. I’ll go back, in my mind, to Choady here, and I’ll need to mock the hott because of it.

Damn you, Choady McWankface, for ruining that for me. Damn you to hell.

10:04 am March, 10 Deltus said...

BTW, not sure if anyone cares, but I was formerly called Bob on the old site. Pardon the vanity in the assumption that anyone would care, but I thought I’d put that out there.

10:07 am March, 10 doucheywallnuts said...

The title of douchebag can be hung on any “man” who tweezes, waxes or otherwise sculpts their eyebrows. Add to the ledger, lip gloss – which appears to be the same as the bleeths’ – and the well-manicured facial stubble and you have a douche worthy of consideration for DBotW honors.

10:17 am March, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Deltus/Bob

Are you a victim of the WordPress switch or did you tire of your old moniker?

10:29 am March, 10 Bagnonymous said...

Holy schnikes, this sh!t is rank. Who’d have thought that, between these two skanko-bleethed out cootie carriers, that HE would be the bleethiest one in the picture. Has he been blowing Barney?

Jesus effing Christ, dude. Where is your man card? I’m shredding that thing.

10:29 am March, 10 Troy Tempest said...

Two bleethed blondes and scumbag. These people… words fail me. I need a second cup of coffee.

10:33 am March, 10 FLSTC01 said...

If only his lips were that colour because he had just gupled the grape Kool-Aid and had only minutes to live.

10:48 am March, 10 boone doggle said...

poochy tara reid should know, rock n roll beats scissors.

darksock #4 ftw.

10:48 am March, 10 Just Sayin said...

I think I saw those two in Anal Fisting Olympics – Return of the Rectum.

I think I saw him floating in a public toilet.

11:07 am March, 10 Miss Anon said...

Is anyone here still talking about Scrotometers?

11:09 am March, 10 massengill said...

Behold a pale set of milk cannons.

11:26 am March, 10 Douche Mengia said...

Nutsack!

11:37 am March, 10 Baleen said...

Even after having been dipped in an enormous vat of clorox, these two bleeths still push the skank-o-meter to the red. I wouldn’t touch them with Plinky’s dick.

And you sir are a bucket of shit.

11:08 am March, 10 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I saw his lips sell on Antiques Roadshow for $50.

11:37 am March, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So does this mean that scissors beats horns or does horns beat scissors?

11:47 am March, 10 Medusa Oblongata said...

FUCKING GROSS FUCKING GROSS FUCKING GROSS ARGH FUCK KILL

Further bulletins will be posted as events warrant.

1:16 pm March, 10 platnumb said...

if that were me in the middle, it wouldn’t be my lips that were covered in pink berry…

3:16 pm March, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Douche’s face has the look of “I just got twice the amount of herpes symplex virus than either of these bitches did.”

7:54 am March, 11 Deltus said...

@Mr. Scrotato Head: haven’t really tired of the name Bob. It is, after all, my actual name. Deltus is a nick I’ve been sporting for a very LARGE number of years now (I won’t date myself telling you how many), and I figured I’d make the switch with the website changeover.

9:56 am March, 11 Mysterioso said...

It’s as though Shane Vendrell got a job in a Cheez Doodles factory.

12:47 pm March, 11 scrotum pole said...

testing

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