Saturday, March 27, 2010

Your Hipsterbag Saturday


Dave just got back from South by Southwest, and, as he wrote on his blog, Ice cream I Scream, it was “almost Burning Man rad.”

Shelly has the dancing doe eyes of eternal haunting.

And so I slap a penguin in honor of her thighs.

# posted by admin
3:54 pm March, 27 Anonymous said...

I'd give her a Dirty Projector

3:59 pm March, 27 Wedgie said...

You are all going to BURN in the FIRES OF HELL.

'Cuz my imaginary friend is watching.

Signed,

That Asswipe From Yesterday

4:01 pm March, 27 Wedgie said...

BTW, nice spirograph on the hip(sterbag). Looks a little uneven, though. You should have considered going to a tatt parlor instead of letting your buddy Melvin do it in his Mom's back yard while 'shrooming.

Cheapskate.

4:02 pm March, 27 Bagnonymous said...

What, so I'm gone for a week and I have to come back to this mushy, pasty-white, unwashed hipster douche mugging on a sexy Shelly hott? Even that dude behind them in the hot tub is pissed off about this.

This tool needs a haircut and a shave. Shelly needs a ring on her finger. And I'd pay absurd sums of money to finance both of the above.

4:06 pm March, 27 Wedgie said...

Oh, I get it. It's a snail.

Pardone moi, mon ami. L'escargot tres magnifique.

Sorry, my French is almost as good as my Swahili.

The arm tatt says something about Karma Police, I think. Maybe they arrested him once.

For being a douchebag, and wearing a Wonder Bread Padres hat.

4:08 pm March, 27 Chad Kroeger said...

It will wear a bag of Wonder Bread on its head.

4:11 pm March, 27 creature said...

"see fellahs, this is proof that I totally scored on a super hot 15 yr. old chick in the 'Springs!"

4:15 pm March, 27 Anonymous said...

Grandma said nobody can have cake and ice cream until they take a
picture with the birthday boy

4:15 pm March, 27 El Caganer said...

I am going to pretend this is photoshoped.

4:30 pm March, 27 El Caganer said...

When I look at a hat like that it just screams POOP IN ME!

4:32 pm March, 27 End the Haberdouchery said...

He has a huge snail tattoo, and is wearing the douchiest Padres hat I've ever seen. And yet, and yet, I can't hate this guy. It must be the sweet mustache and utter neglect he's shown his muscles. So kudos to you hipster bag, she looks like Katie Holmes before she became contaminated with Tom Cruises thetans.

5:12 pm March, 27 El Caganer said...

Obama promoted Smoot to White House Social Director.

5:19 pm March, 27 Justin said...

Wow, that's a pretty cool tattoo of Robert Smithson's "Spiral Jetty".

5:27 pm March, 27 joeEdo said...

looks like true love… or she's tranqed

5:31 pm March, 27 Wheezer said...

@Chad Kroeger, 9:08 a.m. –

It's fitting to find that hat on the head of a loaf. Her padre is indeed Wondering where he went wrong.

5:33 pm March, 27 clam fist said...

Smooooot.

5:36 pm March, 27 clam fist said...

Hipsterbags are the worst.

6:02 pm March, 27 Snoop Douchey Bagg said...

"Wonder Hats builds strong douchebags 8 ways. Look for the red, yellow and blue balloons printed on the wrapper."

– Howdy Douchey

6:12 pm March, 27 Anonymous said...

Of all of the dbags I've seen on this site over the years, none has ever made me want to punch him as hard as this one.

7:59 pm March, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Okay, she's not that cute. I can't believe I'm saying this, but you, my fine reg friends, need to get LAID. Db1 posts a pic with any un-obese woman in a bikini and you're guys' eyes bug out and start madly wanking off like bonobo chimps.

Reality check on this girl. She's flat, she has a bulbous chin, and big ears. So she's got nice shoulder and neckline. So what? True, that is a tight little booty there, but that's by no means a… a… And that flat tummy and those those sultry, seductive eyes. Alright, give me three dozen Cadbury creme eggs, two large spatulas, a gallon of lube, and thirty minutes with this princess, and I'll be happy for the rest of my life!

Three words about this guy: Muffin Top Express.

8:04 pm March, 27 Anonymous said...

Please someone tell me that's not really an Irono-Stache and that instead she drew that on his face with one of her poop-crayons.

@End the Haberdouchery: Well-spotted on the pre-batshit Katie Holmes.

8:43 pm March, 27 Maxim Kovalenko said...

That guy is so 70's, my eyes are bleeding.

9:12 pm March, 27 Chdd Kroeger said...

With my glasses off, and from two feet away, I see a little post-Chanukah Natalie Portman in her.

But I like Star Wars and Jewish girls like that.

Mr. Whitebread here has gone stale.

10:45 pm March, 27 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Spongey? Yup.

Bleached? Definitely.

Enriched? Hardly.

Thick brown crust? Most assuredly.

Spread with peanut butter? His dog enjoyed it.

3:13 am March, 28 Medusa Oblongata said...

I'm not being the least bit snarky when I ask, "Why is it the Wonder Bread logo but it says "Padres"? And is this in reference to the aseball team?"

Seriously, someone explain.

I'd eat her ass.

3:32 am March, 28 Bob said...

My dick just called. He wants me to slap her face with him, repeatedly. I told him she's just a picture, but he doesn't care. OMNOMNOMNOM!

6:22 am March, 28 DarkSock said...

So I'm reading along and then I scan through Medusa's flame and stumble over "I'd eat her ass" and then white stuff shot out of my pee pee.

I'm scared…somebody hold me….by my pee-pee….

10:28 am March, 28 Steve L. said...

i thought this guy is named Chester and he usually trolls elementary schools in a big nondescript van looking for children to offer candy, toys, and mattresses to.

… if you get the above reference you are nerdy beyond redemption.

(by the by Chester, Shelley does NOT have young children; get over it)

2:19 pm March, 28 Turdacious said...

@ Chad
Damn if id checked in sooner i woulda got that one in, but you beat me by a mile.
Funnyshit, Good one

3:26 pm March, 28 DarkSock said...

This man is like a black fly. In my Chardonnay.

3:26 pm March, 28 DarkSock said...

Kevin Klein is…Milquetoast. This summer in theaters.

9:01 pm March, 28 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

Not even being the luv-choad of David Crosby and Doug Henning can save ol' Dave. Bless his clueless heart. And if "slap a penguin" is a metaphor for "wank like mad," I absolutely concur with DB1.

1:47 am March, 29 Father Guido Sardouchey said...

Has anyone else noticed that this dude bears a striking resemblance to Rob Reiner's "Meathead" from "All In The Family"?

3:44 pm March, 29 Whoop-di-douche said...

He's spiraling to nowhere.

3:54 pm March, 29 Anonymous said...

Is that basketball star Adam Morrison?

4:51 am March, 30 French word for shower said...

It must take a significant effort to NOT develop even the most rudimentary muscle tissue…I mean, just turning on light switches, unrolling toilet paper, and positioning ludicrous baseball hats must provide SOME resistance and consequent muscle growth. Right? Yet this guy sports arms that look like they're stuffed with pudding and a torso that appears to be sinking even in a still picture. I bet he's just hugging her in the picture because she opened a jar of pickles for him.

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