Sunday, March 21, 2010

Your Sunday Frolic

Because sometimes we gotta go back in the time machine to 2006 and remember what Jerz Douchebaggery looked like as it began its viral spread.

EDIT: On an unrelated note, the Holy Taco website gets an honorary Douchebag of the Month for ripping me off in every way possible. How’s about coming up with your own bits, Tacobags?

# posted by douchebag1
7:53 am March, 21 Champy Malicious said...

I love it when the person holding a camera turns it 90 degrees in order to show the full body. Doesn’t really translate. But they don’t think about that. “Oh, hey, I just figured out how to make the screen taller instead of wider!”

8:07 am March, 21 Troy Tempest said...

He dances like a spastic chimp that’s hooked up to electrodes that send shocks to his joints in time with the beat. Herky Jerky douchebag.

8:15 am March, 21 DarkSock said...

This is gayer than The Village People roasting mule cockk around a campfire inside of Perez Hilton’s butthole.

8:16 am March, 21 DarkSock said...

I believe the name to the track he’s dancing to is “Clown Raped on a Bed of Bicycle Horns” by Peenlik D. Hamrod.

8:17 am March, 21 Euripidouche said...

wow, i’d love to know what people who suck at this look like doing it, or the ones who are the best at doing it look like for that matter, and would anyone be able to tell the difference.

8:18 am March, 21 DarkSock said...

Thus is answered the question “What does a gay epileptic fit look like?”.

8:18 am March, 21 scrotum pole said...

From downstairs: “Vinny, quit your dancin’, and clean your damn room for God’s sake!”

8:30 am March, 21 scrotum pole said...

Although it may slightly resemble a dance, this is a common technique used when attempting to dislodge a jelly dong, gerbil or table leg from one’s rectum.

8:40 am March, 21 doucheywallnuts said...

Is that the trailer for the new movie, “White Guys and Jerz Guido Douchebags Can’t Dance?”

8:42 am March, 21 creature said...

he’s got a couple stinky nuggets in his drawers & he’s trying to shake ’em loose down his pant leg… you can do this at a disco near the ‘shore’ & never have to use the toilet… sorta like the way the POW’s dispersed the tunnel dirt in “The Great Escape”

9:26 am March, 21 Soy Bomb said...

A fancy lad wearing fancy clothes doing a fancy dance. Doesn’t get much gayer than this.

9:28 am March, 21 Chad Kroeger said...

The aliens inhabiting the ufo on his head spoke to Carlo. He could not resist and the seizures began. When his aunt Guiseppa told his mother Rosaliana what happened as she was caring for this special boy, Rosaliana said that he was just having one of his bad days.

9:39 am March, 21 Chad Kroeger said...

Is there music like this in North America? Is that haircut real? Was he about to fall over when the clip ended? Did I ever have a dream to be a b-boy? When does football start again? Why is everyone mad about healthcare in the States? Is golf on soon? What is March madness? Can I piss with an erection? Is my dog happy? Does Nickleback suck worse than Sheryl Crow? Why did I take multiple degrees?

He is a moron and some stupid chick will fuck him while she is drunk. It is time to start drinking while the family is at church.

10:53 am March, 21 DarkSock said...

The infernal itching of burrowing rectal pinworms is no laughing matter.

Until you set it to music.

10:55 am March, 21 DarkSock said...

This dance would actually make more sense if you set it to some banjo-fueled sister-fuckin’ bluegrass tunes.

10:57 am March, 21 doucheywallnuts said...

The guy in this clip is less fem than the dancing Jerz Guid Crapstain.

11:17 am March, 21 Vin Douchal said...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawful. Doesn’t get much worse than. Unless you throw a ‘roid swole shirtless fag tripping around like Fred Astaire with fire ants crawling up his methane horn to the mix.

They practice at this too, don’t they? Take lesson from our neighbors to the north, when you guys get the urge to do this just pull the other feller’s shirt over his head and begin pummelling with haymakers…

Fags

11:27 am March, 21 Jacques Doucheteau said...

You could replace the crappy Euro-House music with “Step in Time” from Mary Poppins. That’d work better with his dance.

11:51 am March, 21 Chad Kroeger said...

@Vin

25 years ago my favourite hobby was attacking idiots like this, or the 25 years ago version of whatever this is, and pull their shirts over the stupid heads and pummel their nuts with my foot until I got kicked out after beating a few bouncers. Last one I pounded was my now wife’s then boyfriend. I should have left him alone.

Back then it was Hot Chicks with French Canadians. Go Habs.

12:01 pm March, 21 Troy Tempest said...

@vin wrote:

Fred Astaire with fire ants crawling up his methane horn

Methane horn? Genius. Pure genius.

12:09 pm March, 21 G said...

Well, that made me toss my lunch…you need a warning label on crap like that.

12:58 pm March, 21 MILLS said...

ah 2006 those were the days before the economic crisis, before the election of a brown dr spock as president and before the ever continuing downward spiral of youth caused by disney fags named jonas and cyrus ah yes 2006 the year when guidos were allowed to run wild and free before the controversy of jersey shore banished them from beaches and clubs who wouldnt want to go back to 2006 for just a day i wouldnt mind theres been a lot of changes in 3 years hah

1:03 pm March, 21 clam fist said...

I am just glad I never video taped any of the stupid shit I did when I was younger. Of course, next to this, I probably wouldn’t look half bad.

They sure have come a long way since the olden days of 1996.

1:06 pm March, 21 meh... said...

The sad part is I’ve seen worse…

1:08 pm March, 21 clam fist said...

On an unrelated note:

I originally thought that this was a dating site were hot chicks were looking for douchebags. I was ready to purchase a gallon of hair gel and a sprayer full of axe. Thanks for the laughs and a more self aware perspective.

2:32 pm March, 21 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Annual Douchebag Tournament? I wonder where they got that idea?

Rush Limbaugh and Octo-mom were the 2009 finalists? Seriously?? Octo-Mom???

2:51 pm March, 21 Comex_Preacher said...

this video is just laughable, i love it. thanks db1 for posting it up on here! hey any guidos out their want to get a tan look dont go to the sunbeds or tanning salon, just come to me and i’ll sell you a big tin of orange paint “ya feels me?” i got sunny delight orange, peach orange, mandarin orange, luminous orange, syracuse orange, phoenix orange, indian orange, sevilla orange and guadalajara orange.

2:52 pm March, 21 Comex_Preacher said...

* no refunds on the toxic sunny delight orange which is radioactive

3:09 pm March, 21 El HaDjI BiN LaDeN "ThE RaVeN" said...

يموت سوف أقتلك جميع الله عظيم

ALlAh AkBaR! JiHaD! InFiDeLs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3:52 pm March, 21 Wheezer said...

Fatal Error, you are merely a fart in a windstorm.

Disperse.

4:13 pm March, 21 Jacques Doucheteau said...

What are “troil powers”?

4:29 pm March, 21 Crucial Head said...

I just farted.

4:33 pm March, 21 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Naw, I’m sure that was a Freudian slip and you did mean it when you said you have “troil powers”.

4:46 pm March, 21 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Oh shit. Beer, here I come again.

You wicked, wicked mistress of hops and malty fizziness.

4:50 pm March, 21 Troy Tempest said...

sigh. Where’s a mod to smite these trolls when you need one.

I just ate a bowl of cereal. It was yummy.

I am listening to Throbbing Gristle.

Today I played with a kitten. A sweet little fella named Winston.

And Cosey Fanni Tutti was kinda hott back in the day.

5:02 pm March, 21 Comex_Preacher said...

@ Fatal Error (at 3:17pm)

i dont think you should insult mexicans, its dumb to hate people of different races or who are from other countries, who knows what is in your bloodline for sure, for all you know you might have 1% latino in you, and one type of people cant “be better” then another type, also i know people that have been killed by the cartel just for not saying goodbye to them after they collect their extortion money, and they would kill you in a second.

5:04 pm March, 21 Comex_Preacher said...

ah he’s been deleted finally.

5:05 pm March, 21 Crucial Head said...

I’m sorry, what troll are you referring to again, Troy?

5:15 pm March, 21 fatness said...

Damn, I miss all of the carnage.

5:16 pm March, 21 Medusa Oblongata said...

What do you call this dance, anyway? If he were in front of a Dance Dance Revolution machine, I might shrug it off. But on its own it looks like a cross between the Highland Fling and a dude trying to shake out a charley horse.

5:18 pm March, 21 Medusa Oblongata said...

^ Speaking of DDR, the other day I saw a video of a one-legged dude on crutches playing the game. He still danced circles around this guido.

5:21 pm March, 21 Soy Bomb said...

The most disturbing aspect of this douche dance is the fact that his guido buddy is creepily videotaping the spectacle. It sends chills down my spine.

5:28 pm March, 21 Baleen said...

This guy is getting ready for the big dance off in the Appleby’s parking lot after being denied entry into the clubs. It’s goin down tonight!

5:30 pm March, 21 Comex_Preacher said...

apparently the song in this is a d12 techno remix… homos! but they do put a smile on my face despite how silly they are.

5:49 pm March, 21 Comex_Preacher said...

shit check out this guys bleeth prom date! http://www.myspace.com/g2daalo then click on pics and tagged photos.

6:14 pm March, 21 Troy Tempest said...

Troll? What troll? Thanks CH.

6:15 pm March, 21 Comex_Preacher said...

^^p.s just to make it more clear incase you dont know, the link i posted is the myspace of the guy in this video, and on there is pics of his hottie prom date. i like it and its definalty worth a look 😛 😉

6:52 pm March, 21 Jacques Doucheteau said...

@ Troy

It was a troil. Get your shit straight.

7:51 pm March, 21 scumbag619 said...

fuck DJ bello

7:57 pm March, 21 Veni, Vidi, Douchey said...

There are almost as many HCWDB rip-off sites as there are tedious Jennifer Aniston movies. Here’s one of several:

http://tarrmachine.blogs.com/jersey_douchebags/

By the way, is Jennifer Aniston a hot chick? Hollywood tells me yes, but my crotch seems indifferent . . .

8:05 pm March, 21 Steve L. said...

how do you “frolic” on a hottless Sunday?

only Jerz dancebags can “frolic” without a hott.

which is pretty sad.

8:10 pm March, 21 Comex_Preacher said...

@ scumbag619

whos dj bello?

8:18 pm March, 21 Comex_Preacher said...

@veni vidi douchey

to be honest that site isnt so much of a rip off of HCWDB, as its mainly about guidos so its slightly different.

8:40 pm March, 21 massengill said...

@ Comex_Preacher

You have much to learn, my son.

At 0:22 this guy breaks out a move that is commonly referred to as “The Rabbi’s Badger,” made popular in 2007 by Herschel Berkowitz, a young Hasid who walked out on his education at the Boston Hebrew College because he “wanted to rock the blowout and fist pump with his bros.” In the week leading up to the semester’s end and final exams, Herschel is alleged to have stood up during a lecture in his Hebrew literature course and then heard to shout “Going to Djai’s in my car!” before he stormed out of classroom, never to return.

8:42 pm March, 21 Comex_Preacher said...

@massengill

dont bs its just silly

9:04 pm March, 21 scumbag619 said...

DJ Bello is the OG “frolicker” from the Jerz

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2008/11/vote-for-dj-bello.html

9:04 pm March, 21 Euripidouche said...

ickey woods has been served, time to get your worst dance ever title back.

9:09 pm March, 21 Comex_Preacher said...

thanks for the info 🙂

9:11 pm March, 21 massengill said...

@ Comex_Preacher

Learn a lesson in smooveness as DJ Bello boards a stretch limousine, is immediately told to “shut up” when he says hello to the ladies and then crushes some poor young woman’s foot.

9:23 pm March, 21 scumbag619 said...

^massengill…that was a classic. I forgot about that video. it looks like he took down the others where he dances with a giraffe and calls us “haterz”

9:33 pm March, 21 Comex_Preacher said...

@massengill

thanks for shareing the vid! its really funny, ill save it and watch again another time too. them guidos are such good fun and entertaining.

9:37 pm March, 21 Comex_Preacher said...

ok serious question what would you choose if you had to be one of these things: a justin beiber superfan, a scene kid, a guido, a preppy, or a miley cryus wannabe?

12:35 am March, 22 Jacques Doucheteau said...

^Aborted.

6:24 am March, 22 melvil duchi said...

it’s too bad Solid Gold is no longer on tv. he could be the next Adrian Zmed

6:29 am March, 22 Deltus said...

I think that guidbag was being electrocuted! People, people, people! If’n you’re going to bring electricity to the table, you have to use enough current to fry them, not just make them twitch.

7:19 am March, 22 fatness said...

@Veni, Vidi, Douchey 7:57 pm

“By the way, is Jennifer Aniston a hot chick? Hollywood tells me yes, but my crotch seems indifferent . . .”

Hott until she notts herself by opening her mouth.

11:00 am March, 22 Medusa Oblongata said...

HAHAHHAHAHAH DJ Bello video–EPIC. And by Epic I mean I wish those girls would have jaw-stomped him to death.

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