Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Bigeye Joe Says “Pow Pow!”

PIC DELETED




Joe’s only a stage-1 ‘bag. Nothing too threatening. Just jovially annoying.



But Sophie’s coy and demure look speaks of something else.


Promise.



The hope of angels and sunsets and tiny bunny rabbits and passionate humping in the office supplies closet.


# posted by douchebag1
12:10 pm April, 6 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Aaaaugh! I’ve been hit! Medic!

12:16 pm April, 6 Euripidouche said...

ah we can see his frat brother not pictured are playing rohypnol pong with the girl behind him, she is the receptical, and not for the last time that evening, i probably need not add.

12:21 pm April, 6 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Props for using the discarded pant legs from some other douchebag’s jean shorts for your shirt sleeves. Reduce, Reuse, Repell.

12:42 pm April, 6 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Sophie reminds me why I named my penis after my father. Because I live in the shadow of its cold and silent indifference, and alcoholism. Yet I still seek approval from my penis, despite its psychological abuse and own failed life choices.
No. Stop it. Stop it penis, stop hitting Mommy! What are you doing to sister? Stay away from her! Stop touching her like that! Noooooo!!!

12:55 pm April, 6 Ed Hardouche said...

I think the one behind Joe is just happily singing “Pour Some Sugar On Me”…or waiting for some big fucked up momma bird to drop regurgitated fish in to her gaping maw.

1:02 pm April, 6 End the Haberdouchery said...

^ I thought Angela was shoving Joe out of the way because someone was throwing skittles. Or semen.

1:03 pm April, 6 Bagnonymous said...

Oh, beautiful Sophie! Come with me, and we shall make sweet, beautiful music–just you, me, and Francine…
.
…And by “music” I mean about 12 seconds of me thrashing myself and grunting whilst you & Francine do your thing.
.
(Dammit, IOB!)

1:09 pm April, 6 Crucial Head said...

Gertrude threw her head back in maniacal ecstasy as she took her knife to Joseph. She placed the point precisely on the inside of his left thigh, just below the groin. She severed the artery in one quick movement but then blocked the wound tight with her knife-hand, which she jammed hard into the deep slit, blade uppermost.

A rich pulsing spurt of arterial blood quickly gouted into the room and the choking scrote let out a bubbling scream straight from the depths of Hades. Awakened to an imminent death, Joseph scrabbled his feet on the vinyl floor and heaved about with great spastic writhings before collapsing into a lifeless heap.






…then the DJ scratched the music to life and the revelry continued.

1:10 pm April, 6 Crucial Head said...

And yes, I am stopping by the Pharmacy on the way home to pick up the meds I’ve been missing the last few days.

1:16 pm April, 6 Vin Douchal said...

I’m going to say “Notta” but only if…..

He’s at a party this past Sunday night watching the Red Sox beat the hapless Yankees * and he is doing his best Manny Shazaam Point.

If not the case, “Shut up douche!”

* Prediction: Sox win AL East, Tampa Bay 3 games back , Yankees 16 games back due to rampant broken bones and soft tissue inuries to Sabathia, Texiera, A-Job and Posada sustained due to a rumble in Fenway Park on or around July 23rd, 2010 as musical guest, Dropkick Murphys, rush the field and slug anyone in pinstripes after Victor Martinez shoves his catcher’s mitt into A-Rod’s purple lipped pussy face , emptying both benches …. Neil Diamond not available for comment

Minnesota wins Central, ChiSox the AL Wild Card

1:16 pm April, 6 clam fist said...

The Asian hott in the right corner really seems to be enjoying herself.

1:20 pm April, 6 Vin Douchal said...

Rangers win AL West , Angels 1 game back, Seattle two back

1:21 pm April, 6 Bagnonymous said...

Bigeye Joe’s a tool. Not really a douchebag–just a sad, lonely guy who thought that wearing a shirt like this might suddenly make him popular at the party. The party that he wasn’t specifically invited to anyway.
.
And for the love, BJ. How are we supposed to get an idea of Laura’s boobies (she’s the one behind you with the nice tonsils) if you’re all up in front of her? I’m guessing she’s a tad soft and plump but makes up for it with really nice ta-ta’s. But we’ll never know, will we, Joe?

1:24 pm April, 6 Bagnonymous said...

@Vin Douchal:
.
You forgot to mention my Tigers making a historic end-of-season 16-game losing streak to miss the playoffs…
.
…what? Too soon?

1:42 pm April, 6 Vin Douchal said...

Yoko prepares to break up ABBA once and for all. Mark David Chapman approves, as does all of humanity

1:43 pm April, 6 El Caganer said...

I pooped on their rug. Blonde babe is looking down in disgust. The douchebag thinks he found a Baby Ruth.

1:46 pm April, 6 Vin Douchal said...

Hey!

Can anyone explain how to sign in and get to the forums to post ?

1:49 pm April, 6 scrotum pole said...

With the U.S.’s failing economy and cultural decay, Asian semi-hott on right is thinking she may as well go back home to the Phillipines when her student visa expires.




If nothing else, the Phillipines still have some tech job opportunities and top-notch cockfights.

1:50 pm April, 6 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

In Vegas…we gotta say notta…

too happy, not gelled enough, and blissfully oblivious to another guy fingering his gal’s fundament ….

Sorta like our first date with the missus…

1:51 pm April, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Hey Joe, who’s the next lucky contestant on Douches vs Chainsaws? It’s me? Wait here while I fire up the ol’ Black and Decker.

3:10 pm April, 6 melvil duchi said...

laser gun pew pew

3:28 pm April, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

I have a sudden urge to make tea.

4:40 pm April, 6 Euripidouche said...

wifive for douches vs chainsaws..

7:06 pm April, 6 Whoop-di-douche said...

Get a load of that widow’s peak, mused Big-eye Joe, as he quickly sized up Sophie’s lonely potential, not to mention her cleavite, her bleached tresses, her smile, and her laughin’ chaperone Maggie, a Benny Hill alumna.

11:49 pm April, 6 Steve L. said...

oh Sophie, didn’t anyone tell you the proper way of hiding your cleavage?

you lay your palms on your breasts and squeeze them whilst pinching your nipples. it would help if you make soft crooning groans at the same time.

yep. i’ve spent my sleaze quota of the day.

8:03 am April, 7 DarkSock said...

“My ebony TaskMaster butt plug is THIS big! Around!”

11:55 am April, 7 hugoboss said...

playing her hair like the harp

8:28 pm April, 8 CleverDouchePun said...

Did anybody else think of the Everybag when they saw him? I mean, he’s hardly Ricky-quality (IMHO, Ricky’s set the bar way too high to ever be passed), but he just seems so… enthusiastic about it. And a little overwhelmed, like he’s not quite used to everything that’s going on right now.

9:42 pm April, 10 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Only caught this because of the take down, but… Vin Douchal, really? Yanks finishing 16 back? SIXTEEN BACK!? Of the SAWX? Wow! Stick to writing songs and NOT predicting the final standings of the AL East. I’m not going to say the Yanks will win the East, but I can for shit sure say they ain’t finishing SIXTEEN GAMES BACK of anyone in that division. What I will say is the Sawx will be lucky to get the Wild Card this year.

Hey, ya’ll, just remember it was MC 900 Foot Douchebag who predicted this.

MC OUT!!!

10:21 pm April, 10 Big said...

This was a picture of “professional actors”? Back to waiting tables for you three!

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