Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Danny Almost Got Away With It

Danny, you almost earned the coveted nottadouche in presence of Uberhott.

You’re relatively benign. Seem happy and appreciative that life has blessed you with proximity to a viable womb. And are not making any stupid gangsta hand gestures.

But then you have to pull the toxic Silk Rayon Unbutton Move (SRUM), revealing potential Rosary Douche Bead.

Sorry, bud.

We must rule ‘Bag. And mock your sorry ass.

# posted by douchebag1
11:38 am April, 28 fishyj0e said...

is that the duchess herself?

11:45 am April, 28 tall guy said...

Agreed. Definite bag. Maybe he thinks he’s being all ironic about it, but bag nonetheless.

11:47 am April, 28 tall guy said...

Although rather alluring eyes on the hot.

11:50 am April, 28 Vin Douchal said...

Maybe . She looks like Fergie at a high school function 20 years ago (pre-awful-dinosaur-titties-boob implantanations).

And I may be in the minority here, but Fergie is a butter face if there ever was one. Yeesh, she’s fallen asleep on the waffle iron one too many times.

11:52 am April, 28 Jacques Doucheteau said...

At least he’s not attempting the dreaded Silk Collar Unbutton Move (SCUM).

.

She is crazy hotness wrapped in a blouse with gaudy shoulder ruffles that are still cute as hell on her nuzzle lumps. I would show her photo after photo of kids with alopecia areata in the attempt to persuade her to donate her luscious brown hair to Locks of Love, which I would actually steal and covet for myself to braid and beat ferrets to death with, all to satisfy my masturbate-naked-in-a-pile-of-ferrets-beaten-to-death-with-a-braided-lock-of-hair-stolen-from-an-uber-hot-brunette-under-the-guise-of-donating-her-hair-to-disadvantaged-bald-children fetish.

11:54 am April, 28 bigphatnotadouche said...

Looks like a Fergie Hott plus good side cleveage will help make the drone work go by faster as I go and take a 30 second restroom break.

Nice man-tache on the Douche. I bet his shirt is extremely flammable from the rayon and hair gel.

Who’s got a match?

11:58 am April, 28 Vin Douchal said...

Danny’s that hyper-enthusiastic waiter at Chevy’s TexMex that really, really, really recommends the Cadillac Marguarita tonight and still smells like sizzling fajita smoke even after a shower.

12:06 pm April, 28 Bag Margera said...

He looks like a poser suburban kid who moved to the city for post-secondary education and fell into the wrong club crowd. He doesn’t even know how to be a bag, but he’s trying however he can.

Hopefully Fergie-hott will set him straight, by crushing his heart and ruining his entire extracurricular college experience.

12:14 pm April, 28 Bagnonymous said...

The hott looks like an attractive, female version of Fergie.

12:14 pm April, 28 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Wednesday ass pear.

12:17 pm April, 28 Claude Douchenburg said...

After he has tasted the goodness of this brunette beauty, (who will be his first “good one”) he will be committed to evolve into a total douche in hopes of landing more of “The Good Stuff”. By Labor Day his hair will be spiked and frosted, he will have not one, but three cross necklaces. He will be sporting a chin strap, guy liner and a 10 pound wrist watch. He will have pumped iron all summer and spent a fortune at the tanning salon. Where he will buy his new pair of douche goggles. By October he will be networking his way to a nomination for Douche Bag of the month. You watch.

12:20 pm April, 28 Claude Douchenburg said...

And that was just wrong Jacques Doucheteau

12:21 pm April, 28 Hong Kong Douchey said...

Damn you Jacques Doucheteau at 12:14pm! I’m looking for something to get me through Wednesday, and you link to Nick Nolte in a rolled diaper.

12:25 pm April, 28 Chad Kroeger said...

He is so unswole that I will not make any Flex Luthor comments. But he should get back out of the 1970’s

or he will have a brown ultrasuede jacket with patches over that and a shiny dance floor that lights up like Yahtzee with a shark swimming under like the Limelight in Atlanta.

12:39 pm April, 28 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Did I mention that Wednesday is opposite day?

.

Sorry, I submitted a good one to db1 for Friday.

12:41 pm April, 28 KristenS said...

I’m sorry – Fergie is an Uber Hott now? I thought dudes HATED her.

12:51 pm April, 28 tall guy said...

I reckon this: “Danny’s that hyper-enthusiastic waiter at Chevy’s TexMex that really, really, really recommends the Cadillac Marguarita tonight and still smells like sizzling fajita smoke even after a shower” along with Bag Magera’s and Claude Douchenburb’s observations are spot on.

12:56 pm April, 28 Bag Margera said...

Dudes don’t necessarily hate fergie, Kristen. We just don’t like the three B-Bags she teamed up with to make herself famous. Everyone’s mom thinks they listen to hip-hop now, because they like the Black Eyed Peas.

12:59 pm April, 28 douche bigalow said...

levitating assclown in a chef’s coat alert

1:18 pm April, 28 Anonymous said...

I’m pretty sure that is indeed Fergie, not some hotter version of herself. Somehow we’ve managed to catch her on her “good side”

1:21 pm April, 28 smackdouche said...

She’s fergalicious!!

1:28 pm April, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Rising above the invisible cloud of Axe, Drakar Noir, and Vabreeze vagina spray, Buffalo Beast downed his dirty Manhattan, checked the cuffs of his pressed white shirt, tucked the noose snuggly around his neck, and stepped doggedly off the pleather wrapped chair.

1:35 pm April, 28 Bagnonymous said...

@ Jacques:

Clicking on your link was probably the ONLY time I’ve ever valued slow-loading pics on my system. As it scrolled slowly down, I realized what was to come, and I got the hell outta there like a soggy, wet projectile fart from Plinky’s mom’s colon.

2:03 pm April, 28 Douche Scroets Scrociety said...

Danny oh Danny, with gay shirt wide open

Fergie oh Fergie, what have you been smokin’?

We rule him as bag, his ass we must mock

For there’s no way the Duchess will be touching his cock

3:38 pm April, 28 Deltus said...

You’re right, db1. A normal shirt buttoned up normally, and he would’ve had a notta. Such a shame.

Fergie Light there? I’d arm wrestle the bear of her choice slathered in honey just for the chance to fwap my swole cock on her for just 10 seconds. Which would be 5 seconds more than I need.

4:29 pm April, 28 lupus john wilcox said...

life really sux ass. it really does.

10:41 pm April, 28 DarkSock said...

I peed in Fergie’s butt once…then she went onstage and got a bum rap for peeing herself.

.

True Story.

AND medical Fact.

11:54 pm April, 28 Whoop-di-douche said...

At ;least he’s all smiles about it, unlike the normal douchey staredown, pouty mouth or blankface.

12:52 am April, 29 Steve L. said...

Danny specializes in horny single moms on plentyoffish.com.

11:17 am April, 29 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Vin–Amen, brother. Fergie is skank rolled in skeeze dusted in blecch and topped with gag. I have no idea what the fascination is there. The chick who works at the gas station by my house is ten times hotter than Fergie, but she doesn’t have a fan club because her name is Tracy and she works at Speedway. Dangit. And then Fergie went and got all that awful work done on her face, now she looks even more mannish and puffy, and eyebrow piercings are so stupid looking on anyone over the age of 20 I can’t even stand it. Sorry. If you’d stick your dick in this you might also like slamming it in car doors.

.

And while he really does nothing for me, I’d say Josh Duhamel is clearly out of her league.

.

Either way, button your shirt and get rid of the rosary. You’re so close to notta, you don’t have to do this to yourself.

11:40 am April, 29 Sergeant Poop said...

Yes, I’m sad to say, but that is indeed Fergie. She’s covering up the bulge in her pants, making it difficult to identify her to the untrained eye.

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