Thursday, April 15, 2010

Donkey Douche says, "Not So Fast, Xenu!"

Wait… Whats this?!

It’s the Donk!!

Yes, HCwDB legend and 2009 Lifetime Douchechievement Winner Donkey Douche heard that Xenu and Joey Porsche were coming by to prove their bonafides, and the Donk said, “Oh hell no!!! I can top those douchebags.”

Well, what he actually said was, “Grunnnghhhhh. Me like tacos.” But I extrapolated the rest.

Here’s the Donkster bringing another HCwDB legend of taint, 2007’s Chandlerbag, three (!) Ubiquitous Red Cups and the sweet, innocent drinkability of Julianne and her innovative boobal cell phone storage system. That’s one power-packed HCwDB pic, people.

That’s why the Donk is Hall of Scrote legend. There are many douches in this world. Few, who can bring a consistency of arm grease like the Donkster.

# posted by douchebag1
11:47 am April, 15 Claude Douchenburg said...

Don’t forget the sideways peace sign. The way he is holding that cup looks as if he is planning on collecting a specimen.

11:50 am April, 15 Crucial Head said...

Look, I love the Donk and all, but that beach is just disgusting. Vile. I’d rather stare at a small truck filled with unborn calves, sliced away and barely alive inside the transparent tents of their protective uteri, all dumped there together in a multicolored gelatinous mass.

.

.

.

*Hmmmmm*

.

.

That is odd. For I now have an erection.

11:50 am April, 15 Mr. White said...

One small quibble, DB1. I don’t think Donk says “Me like tacos.” I think more likely he says, “Your Honor, I plead not guilty be reason of mental disease or defect. Also? I have a bomb in my pants.”

11:58 am April, 15 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Xenu then the Donkster in the same day? Damn you, DB1.

.

Looks like the Donk can’t afford steroids anymore what with all his fines and legal fees.

12:01 pm April, 15 Condouchious say... said...

i’d eat her taco…kazinga!

12:09 pm April, 15 Vin Douchal said...

“Your honor, I’m Troy McClure, you may remember me from such cases as : Gorzelany, Obiedzinski and Pakos vs. Simon and Schuster, Inc.”

“Your honor, my client only had 59 Vicodins on him because this tattoo goes from shoulder all the way down to his taint then two inches up his rectum. The tattoo artist said he was also a doctor and gave him the prescription …. it was all legally obtained…. therefore you should drop the case against my cleint..”

12:11 pm April, 15 Douche Vader said...

Wow. A veritable who’s who of douchebaggery. They’re in Miami, bitch. Love those love handle star tats, donk.

12:11 pm April, 15 fatness said...

Oak Street Beach. Bleecch. Not even on a bet. And they worry about Asian Carp getting into Lake Michigan…of course none of these E.coli specimens would go near the water.

12:13 pm April, 15 Mr. White said...

“Your Honor, when my client sold the Ecstasy pills to Ms. Singer, he was under the impression she was 19 years old. Mr. Donk had no way of knowing that she was, in fact, 12….

“What do you mean that’s still illegal?”

12:16 pm April, 15 Bagnonymous said...

I’d totally dial her cell and then commence licking and humping my telephone. (One after the other, that is.. I can’t actually lick something and hump it at the same time–I’m not flexible enough. Don’t think I haven’t tried, though.)

12:19 pm April, 15 Tony Ventresca said...

Vin Douchal: as always, you are a fine writer

Crucial Head: you need help, lol

12:20 pm April, 15 jonezy said...

fatness correctly identified this beach, which is generally a collection of high school aged suburbanite bags n bleethes– the perfect targets for Donk to sell his wares to.

12:24 pm April, 15 scrotum pole said...

That’s actually not a beach at all.

It is a sample from a filthy cat litter box, as viewed under a 10,000 X electron microscope.

12:35 pm April, 15 Vin Douchal said...

Somebody should write a parody song about The Donk ……………….

12:41 pm April, 15 Bag A said...

April 15, 2010….the day my faith in America was restored. The day the Donkster answered the bell, and put the smack down on Xenu and Joey Porsche!

Some people counted the Donk out. Said he was washed up. But not me…..

12:42 pm April, 15 Bag A said...

I just hope the Slap isn’t lurking about….

1:16 pm April, 15 RAPETIME said...

Donk’s out of prison? Shit, I’m gonna have to buy more ammo.

1:42 pm April, 15 Deltus said...

You can smell the poo from here. And I don’t mean from the picture, through my monitor. I mean I can smell the stank from where I am versus where they are, separated by hundreds or even thousands of miles. *sniffs* *barfs*

1:57 pm April, 15 doucheywallnuts said...

Stackhouse and other pretenders to the douchebag throne need to pay heed to the man known as Donkeydouche and understand that this is what a real douchebag is all about.

To paraphrase the late Lloyd Bentsen in , “Stackhouse, I served with Donkeydouche, I knew Donkeydouche, Donkeydouche was a friend of mine. Stackhouse, you are no Donkeydouche.”

2:11 pm April, 15 DarkSock said...

They are all swimming in a big ass bowl of Donkey Punch.

2:17 pm April, 15 douchevilla said...

Two greats in one arena!

2:19 pm April, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Looks like the Donkster got on the HIV-cream pie diet ala Stacky. Donkster sure looks like he’s dropped the weight.

“Your honor, it is a medical necessity for me to take 87 Vicodin a day anally. You see, I was unfamiliar with the term phallometric assessment as it was related to me by my “diddler” cell mate and well, let’s just say, dropping the kids off at the pool takes on a whole new meaning now.”

2:35 pm April, 15 Douche Ellington said...

The Taint is so strong with the Donk that his star tats have infected Julianne’s left hip.

2:44 pm April, 15 mr.reeve said...

He is a true legend and thank god for the hottie!

http://theproblemwithmentoday.com

2:44 pm April, 15 Vin Douchal said...

What’s next, photos of Bra! in drag ? He’d still be flexing

3:39 pm April, 15 DarkSock said...

Nice set-up on Mr. Reeve’s website, Fatness.

I went for it.

4:06 pm April, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Damn the Stockholm Syndrome. I’m actually starting to like this f*cker.

.

.

Nah.

.

The Donk’s got to love being back on the street free and easy, emphasis on easy. The fact that he’s slid his hand down the back of Chandlerbag’s shorts and inserted two fingers knuckle deep into his furiously contracting buttercutter shows you can take the douchebag out of prison, but the Donk is gay.

4:33 pm April, 15 Troy Tempest said...

Huh? I thought he was going to jail big time – drugs and trying to bribe a court officer. This must be an old picture from last summer. He should be going to the slammer to meet his new roommate, Bubba the Butt Bandit, about any day now I figure.

Anyone have access to the local court records where he is? I forget the name of the place, but it has two names, like Downer’s Grove or some shit like that.

I’m still WAY offline. This is a borrowed computer.

5:34 pm April, 15 fatness said...

It’s been in the 80’s here a few times in the last month but Lake Michigan is still somewhere around 40°F. There are always some malformed brains out there this time of year when the weather is nice but nothing like that. So it’s got to be an old picture.

Doesn’t make it any less douchey though.

5:35 pm April, 15 fatness said...

Oh and Darksock, you’re welcome. It just needed something.

5:44 pm April, 15 Douches Wild said...

All hail Donkus Maximus!! The bar of definitive Mega-scrotality ascends ascends his very presence- The ragtag cadre of recent Douche wannabes will quake in the shadow of his Leviathan persona and soil their Ed Hardy nut-cozies in spasms of inadequacy.

5:45 pm April, 15 Douches Wild said...

only one ascend there- no need to get hjysterical

5:50 pm April, 15 Douches Wild said...

All hail Donkus Maximus!! The bar of definitive Mega-scrotality is raised by his very presence- The ragtag cadre of recent Douche wannabes will quake in the shadow of his Leviathan persona and soil their Ed Hardy nut-cozies in spasms of inadequacy.

5:50 pm April, 15 Douches Wild said...

just got i from Redundo Beach

6:55 pm April, 15 Anonymous said...

@ fatness,

pic is from last August — “old”, but only 8 months old.

you’re welcome.

11:38 pm April, 15 Steve L. said...

when the Donk summons the code word “GET JEALOUS HATERS!” on Xenu, you know Xenu would be toast.

12:43 am April, 16 Barack O'Bagga and The Audacity of Scrote said...

And I thought “The Ninth Gate” was Diane Kruger’s Vagina.

… oh, well.

8:34 am April, 16 fatness said...

@ anon, 6:55 pm April, 15

Thank you Donk.

11:41 am April, 16 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

FYI: The Donk’s delivery of a controlled substance, armed violence, and “da bomb” beltbuckle case is still pending in DuPage Co. Court. Next court appearance on the 22nd of this month if anyone want to show up with “free the donk” t-shirts on. And that picture is definitely not recent as the beaches are not open here yet. Free the donk!

3:05 pm April, 16 Whoop-di-douche said...

How apropos and ironic that Don’s next court appearance is on Earth Day.

Like, I mean, he’s such a douchebag pro and moronic, one wonders if the Mother Earth can ever recover from his brand of ass-baggery.

8:35 pm April, 17 yellow said...

that tattoo screams “i snort meth”

12:41 am April, 18 Stephanie said...

look at the driftwood on the beach, the things that are washed up onto the beach are scary….oh my!

9:01 am April, 19 wanker said...

Lookout

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