Friday Thoughts and Links
This is the new site, but it’s a mess right now, so don’t look anywhere but here. Nothing else is online.
It’s sunny and 74 degrees in Los Angeles, as your narrator gives you the weather report with a nod of homage to the great David Lynch.
The Margarita sisters are drinking out of RareAss Clear Cup, while meatheads Vin and Sal pose like scrotal rocks.
My obsession with Hostess Fruit Pies continues since the local bodegas began stocking them above the Ring Dings.
I nosh on some chemical fruit. And I laugh at silly watches on douchescrotes.
Life is good.
Here’s your links:
HCwDB legend Joey Porsche arrested?
Hot Chocolate Bunnies with Douche Chocolate Bunnies.
Speaking of greatest things, how about the greatest closing title sequence of the 80s . Weller + Goldblum = win, even if one of Bonzai’s crew is a proto-douche.
For there is only one collar pop that gets a nottadouche, and it is Buckaroo Bonzai. Rockstar Leniency Rule exemplified.
Giant Isopods feast. Or, as they call it in Jersey, “All You Can Eat.”
You know you want it. You know you’ve earned it.
So who am I to deny you your reward for another week of douche mocking?
Not enough? Okay, one more.
Hourglasspear. I want to teethe upon ’tis cheek.
HAll of Hott!
Hourglasses are my favorite! numnumnum
An excellent start to the weekend DB1, very nice work.
I find it highly distasteful that decent educated people from all walks of life mock those less fortunate, it’s of no fault of their own that they were raised in a manner not befitting humans, I personally lay blame on their parents, for if they were there to give advise and direct them in actions and behavior befitting a normal person they would not be where they are today, but seeing they have progressed beyond the point of no return that should not excuse the fact that they should be shot in the head and in public.
The hourglass is back!
And on the sixth day
Hey Anon! Your back too. It didn’t take long for the trolls to appear.
Your new HCwDB just popped on my screen….congrats DBl! it looks great.
And by “great” I mean I will henceforth wish to masturbate to your hot chicks pics even more…
Hourglass pear: Among the best ever.
What’s with the can of spray paint in the header?
Or is that axe?
And this cartoon douche down here at the bottom makes me want to punch my computer screen.
Nice work DB1.
is that Smoot at the bottom of the comments page?
good work boss! now how do I add my av?
Well worth the wait! Now on with the sweet sweet jugs!
Looks awesome. And Hourglass is definitely Hall of Pear material.
Re: Buckaroo Banzai. There are actually TWO prototype douchebags in that sequence: the guy with 2 (!) belts (1 yellow, 1 red), and the guy with the ab-reveal, rolled-up-sports-jacket a la Journey.
Hourglass Pear FTW! I hope we see more of this sweet vintage of hottness before the December awards.
Hey, you in the red! That’s the biggest clit I’ve ever seen!
I don’t see the point of a forum. Aren’t these responses enough of a forum?
FIRST MUTHA-
sorry. wrong occasion.
Oh yeah…..HourglASS Pear may just give Ms. LaPlante a run for her money.
>Schplurt!<
Testing the new name – apparently, whomever is using “Wheezer” on WordPress hasn’t yet surrendered it.
Alright DB1 !!
Check off 1 item on the HCWDB Go-Live Weekend Count-Down Master List. Let’ see, that leaves 420 more items before…
Wow. Great look. I’ll have to go buy some magnifiers to read the comments but that is my cross to bear.
Oops…too soon?
3:02 PM Douchemock Daylight Tie = 12:33 AM CDT
Or my DeLorean is acting up again…
Aw fuck…..^TIME. Is the bar still open?
So far, Lamp is pleased. Well done DB1.
I can’t poop.
so i didn’t pay my respects to Hourglass Pear until now.
and that is criminal.
I believe these guys came into our shop tonight asking if we did dragon tattoos…specifically the one “from that movie Alice” and if we could please replace the Jabberwocky head with the Predator head…’cause that would be “bayud ayuss”…to wit I promptly informed them that they would not be served until I was through with my current speedo-douche vomiting session and would they care for a cyanide laced complimentary mint?
…must cleanse palate by visiting nearest Burger King restroom armed with only a bottle of lotion and printout of HourglASS Pear.
Anon @ 8:57 (wtf time is it WordPressland anyway?) FTW.
Hourglasspear FTF (for the fwopping).
And wtf is that down in the lower right-hand corner?
Christian douche wear.
I can’t wrap my mind around that one.
Nope, nothing…
Everything about that monster in the red speedos is f’ing huge except for one thing.
Looks like he’s smuggling a Vienna sausage and a couple grapes in those shorts.
Mr. Sag-tits McFuckwad on the right needs to get the fuck over himself and realize he’ll never get beyond being a forklift operator at Costco.
And as for the
hotts,bleeths, hairless Scrapy-infected lemurs wearing bikinis; if those cheap plastic cups were filled with their self esteem, they still paid too much at the pool cantina. Guaranteed that they’re watered down and may even contain Giardia.Fuck. Not even Broker’s gin and R.E.M. will break me out of my current foul mood.Love the new site though. Congrats.Fucking fuck-fucker fuckhammer.
Hot Chicks with Smurfbags fetures the lovely and talented Sofia Vergara. For more Sofia, click:
Visit Sofia!
New site? I’m scared! Let’s see if my Gravatar still works.
Aw, there he is. I feel complete again.
Can we get a instructional link on how to create a avatar.
Not right away of course, but after y’all get the bugs worked out.
Testing…1,2,3
You guys know I would never stir up shit of any kind.
But, DB1’s ‘April Fools!’ comment is missing from the ‘Ramon the Nottadouche’ thread. 2 guys have been caught, then I spilled the beans.
So have you heard of this KFC Double Down?
ok, hey bitchtits, that’s right, grow the stubble, before they think britney shaved her head and had her implants removed….
and your buddy with the gun show? what your pecs couldn’t make it to the gun show? c’mon fuck-a-guy, if you are gonna try, which those guns say you do, may as well try something for the chest, you shriveled up sissy.
interesting no shades hot, her tricep flex is troublesome, i hope she doesn’t go to shrivelchest for workout pointers….other than that very nice.
her friend with the mouth, i guess that is one excuse she won’t be using glug glug glug….
very nice unbleethy bleeths….
Oh, that was supposed to be a link but it didn’t work.
“For there is only one collar pop that gets a nottadouche.” If that’s the case, then it should go to Mike Nelson (played by Lloyd Bridges) of Sea Hunt. He had the popped collar and the ten pound watch. If anyone deserves a nottadouche it’s Mike.
Saturday thoughts and links:
Ouch, head hurt
What the fuck did I do to my back? Shit!
When did I snap not one but three strings on the Les Paul?
Four year olds are the noisy fucking thing on the planet, especially at 7:30 AM during whiskey hangovers…
See, this is why i don’t drink when I play bars,…
I have no money to show for it (probably spent it right back on rounds), have a hangover, and now I have to go to the shed and unload all the equipment myself because I told everyone, “Nah,.. I’ll get it in the morning….”
Fuck me, fuck loud music, Fuck Fish Slap, fuck Word Press… where’s my goddamn PREVIEW BUTTON, bitches?
@ Vin
m/
Does anyone remember what douchebag the Vin Douchal link regarding the Russian plastic surgery crazy lips was on. I want to freak my wife’s mother out.
Site is starting to come together keep it up boss.
On a side note. Hour glass pear.
Cheers to all things sheer and by sheer I mean side boob. YUM!
God damn it, how do you attach your avatar to your profile?
I am horribly technologically inept.
And I think surf pear swapped tops.
Aren’t they naughty?
Yes, yes they are.
And I likey. I likey a lot.
@ Scrote Stain 10:38
You have to use a sight called Gravatar that links your avatar to wherever you blog. I have been trying to do it for like an hour now but it and wordpress are telling me my account does not exist. good luck.
WHOA!!!! I have been transported into another land. So THIS is the new site! First time I’m seeing any of this. That thing in the lower-right corner there is effin’ creepy. Reminds me of a dude I used to work with. Agh! Happy Saturday, all.
@ Chad
Nickelback is annoying, your voice is like a cheese grater across the taint of the 440Hz aural spectrum lit on fire by the methane from the farts of a thousand dairy cows then jammed repeatedly into the ass of time by an impatient four year old jumping up and down outside the locked JC Penny restroom as a fat guy picks his ass scabs inside and a little boy, a good little boy tries his very best not to piss hisself .
Lord knows I would have decked that fat bastid if the boy wasn’t there. We sure did knock a lot and harangue him from the outside.
Did I mention I’m ornery and hung over?
Also Chad, there are no comments left over from the previous website that came over here to Word Mess so you have to go in this to the comments this way:
CLICK
Or straight to the webpage HERE
But the comments cracked me up, all the death threats and disgust,… LOLSPizzA !
@vin
sympathy vis a vis the gear loading.
In the late 70s i played in a prog band. The keyboard player, while a very nice person, didn’t like to move gear. Which made us hate him, even though we liked him.
RMI electric piano? check. 40 lbs
Helpinstlll semi electric piano? check. 250 lbs.
Freeman String symphoniser? check 55 lbs
Yamaha organ? check 50 lbs
Cat Oktave synth? check about 15 lbs
Roland SH-1000 synth? check about 20 lbs
Tapco mixer? check about 15 lbs
JBL speakers? check total about 80 lbs with stands
Stands for all that crap? check another 50 lbs.
Total: about 575 lbs of crap.
When he said he wanted a mellotron (150 lbs) we told him he would have to lug it himself.
I remember we played in a place on the second floor of a building with no elevator. Great. Haul a fucking Helpinstill up two flights of stairs so we could play music that no one understands or appreciates in some hick bar in the middle of nowhere populated by men wearing bib jeans, CAT hats, and the women were swaddled in polyester and the odor of Benson and Hedges. Fucking. Nightmare.
My bass rig was bad enough, but I built wheels for the damn thing.
You could use the “What Would Jesus Douche?” link as your thesis statement.
Looking good, DB1, well done so far.
We need an update on Donkey Douche one of these days.
And the tatted dude in the lower right corner, with “Dipshit” on his back? Classic. Well done!
A pair of atomic DBs making time with the Dupe Sisters. Even a “Silkwood” style scrubbing won’t cleanse them of the lingering bag-stink left by mere proximity to these lizard porkers.
Christ, it’s a rare pic, even a Friday Ass Pear, that gets me from 0 to semi in under a minute. Hourglass Pear does the job, though.