Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Hannah's Kneecaps

Sparky here isn’t much of a douche. The silly hat tilt qualifies him for stage-1, but that’s about it.

Then why post the pic?

Because I would construct a shrine to Hannah’s kneecaps out of bamboo driftwood, twine, spittle and a mixture of clay and bark beetle, just for the chance to anger the Gods who laugh at human folly.

She has the haunting eyes of brunette boobie dreamland. And for that, I acknowledge my puberty as both a blessing and a curse.

# posted by douchebag1
8:51 am April, 14 boatbutter said...

Hannah has lovely kneecaps that each fit perfectly in my palms.

8:54 am April, 14 Troy Tempest said...

It’s a party. She drove straight from work from her job at Macy’s. He drove straight from his mom’s basement. They call this fun. They are flotsam.

8:55 am April, 14 bcs said...

Hannah has that “high-maintenance” look about her. I know because I’m married to one.

Shit, I’ll be right back, I gotta go turn the pillow back over to the cold side for her.

9:23 am April, 14 saulgoode42 said...

Gorgeous. That is all.

9:29 am April, 14 Scooby Douche said...

Wait a minute….

They look almost exactly alike.

Twins?

Not that I have a problem with that. If she was my sister, I’d do her too.

9:51 am April, 14 Tony Ventresca said...

BCS @ 8:55

Good one, mate!

9:56 am April, 14 DarkSock said...

Just then the back of Sparky’s skull erupted, belching out the luminescent alien spoors, hungry for human corneas.

9:57 am April, 14 DarkSock said...

^ I’m subbing for the Baron until he gets back from whatever the fuck it is he does during his absences.

10:01 am April, 14 The Mars Vulva said...

Sorry, but she’s just a rap video girl wannabe lolwigger ho in training wheels.

Only whobag jumpoffs wear those giga-hoop earrings.

By the time she’s 27 and has a job in the city as an overpaid and adulteress dental hygienist, she’ll be just as much a malignant narcissist as Jennifer Lopez.

Have fun meeting her over at the Roxbury over in west chelsea, though.

10:08 am April, 14 creature said...

aliens from the planet Vulvae are sucking out Sparky’s brain… to insert in extra-terrestrial toad skullls so the amphibians may be taught to eat more outer space mosquitos…. this to will fail

10:09 am April, 14 creature said...

nice of you to drop in bcs… welcome back, now piss off

10:15 am April, 14 Mr. White said...

Hannah’s little faux-Native American top cost (her dad) $450 at some boutique, and she’ll be very pissed if you get spooge, urine, or fecal matter on it.

And I will anyway.

10:52 am April, 14 Deltus said...

Meh, she’s alright. I wouldn’t call her spectacular or anything.

11:06 am April, 14 Baleen said...

I guess the new fashon trend is to carry around dead sloths on your shoulders.

2:21 pm April, 14 Chad Kroeger said...

I give him a pass because she looks like my high school sweetheart Tami who looked like a hippie, fucked like a tiger, thought I was the smartest and funniest coccck, and liked to smoke the sweet buds and loved my family.

Then I got jealous once and the fucking bitch cheated on me with old dude with a vintage 60’s Corvette. He was married, I freaked out like Randy Savage when George the Animal Steele stole Miss Elizabeth and did a wreck job on his car and house. Banged her since but would never have married her the piece of shit.

I can’t hate this girl. The dude is looking for wholesome. So not hot not douche.

And I have teenage girlfriend issues that can only be cured by potty traing and mortgage payments.

Fuck I wish I could start again. Booze instead..

2:32 pm April, 14 Claude Douchenburg said...

Wait a minute…wait a minute…wait just one minute..I don’t think I don’t think Sparky is sporting a cap!!!! That looks mor like a visor!!! Oh my thet opens up a whole new can of worms.

2:32 pm April, 14 Claude Douchenburg said...

Got to get the Cheetos outta my key board.

8:39 pm April, 14 Steve L. said...

it’s like nobody wants to be hard on Sparky when he’s double teamed by 2 photos of Jed.

you sure know how to pop up at the right place at the right time, Sparky. bastard.

5:24 am April, 15 Edvis said...

I thought this was HOT CHICKS with douchebags, not “primany care physician receptionists with bad attitudes and dorks”.

7:40 am April, 15 Jimmy said...

Let’s see, DB1’s type: Straight brown haired, blue eyed Eastern European Ashkenazi Jewesses.

That about right?

9:50 am April, 15 Em said...

I don’t know man. She’s wearing a carpet.

5:13 pm April, 15 douchebag1 said...

@Jimmy. Yup. Pretty much.

8:09 pm April, 15 goofydouche said...

I don’t see any kneecaps.

8:33 pm April, 17 yellow said...

no. your first instinct is correct. clearly a couple of douchebags.

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