Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Jed the Creepy Wankscrote and Penny Thank You for your Vote
To celebrate their win in the HCwDB of the Week, Jed the Creepy Wankscrote and Penny went for a swim.
Emerging from the water, they’re confirmed that the water is relatively warm today, that the current is light, and that there is no God. I will now go light a hamster on fire.
I pooped on their towels.
DB1 why do you hate us so much as to put up this revolting spectacle again? Is it something we did? Is it something we didn’t do? Please just tell us. We’ll make it right again. Just please, please, please spare this atrocity again.
THERE ARE MORE of these pictures?!?!?!?! This one is worse than the first! Make it stop! Gonna wash my eyes out with bleach.
He appears to be bottomless.
Thanks. I wasn’t planning on eating for the next few weeks.
See, you made me forget to put spare US this atrocity again. Is that why? I starting to get macular degeneration from this pic. Tunnel growing darker……
I just gave myself a tequila eyewash, then I used wankscrotes arms as toothpicks to free 3 of Penny’s pubic hairs from my teeth. She was upset because they were the first 3 she had ever grown.
This pic scares me more than the first one. And that’s saying something. Spiegel better be careful, a weakly thrown errant frisbee could cost him his life.
Oh good lord, he’s either flashing a GSR or his lack of discernible hips means his swim shorts/trunks fall down when wet.
This one definitely needs nuking.
Release the Kraken!
This is the most despicable pic I recall seeing on here. No shit, I can’t fuckin’ look at it anymore.
Jed is so creepy, the undead fear him.
That dude is a Somali pirate
And then, they burst into flames.
Hmmm… I guess it was about 20 years ago that I was whacked out of my mind on ether and Peeps at that hostel in Costa Rica… could I have…? could he be…? …Naaaaaaaah!
Did a dip in the salt water wash off part of his arms?
.
.
Damn Jed, GET SOME hand weights and curl those bad boys on the reg. Penny could easily bench press him.
To avoid some of the HORROR, try to focus on the cottage cheese and g-string action on the right near the water.
.
Ah shit!, it’s not working!
At first I didn’t think this was so horrible, then I fucking scrolled down and saw the full body picture and I wanted to die. When I have nightmares of death chasing me, it has this guys face. Better tattoos though. Is the girl with him even legal? Don’t answer that, I don’t want to be liable.
I wonder how fast I could get a tribe of children to bury him in the sand with $50 and a box of popsicles. And I don’t mean the “haha you’re covered in sand!” kind of bury I mean the six feet under kind.
It’s just too bad that a stray shark wasn’t patrolling the waters when he and Penny went for their swim. I’d gladly sacrifice her in the name of getting this nightmare off the planet.
Somewhere, God weeps for giving people free will.
A massive fish kill occurred shortly after this pic was taken.
That little fucker weighs about 85 pounds now that his undies are wet
Penny is obviously not too bright, and by no means a beauty, ( sure I’d bang her after she turns fifteen,) but why is she standing likea meerkat?
something tells me that physical labor and athleticism isn’t exactly this guy’s forte’
It looks as if he had an Ed Hardy shirt made as a tattoo on his entire upper torso.
Aaaaaahhhhhh!!! Aaaaahhhhhh!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
.
* runs away from computer sreaming like a toddler *
After adding Jed to the ensemble cast of ABC’sLOST the show was quickly accused of jumping the shart, and never made it into the Top 10 again.
.
Although Jed would continue to get unsolicited calls from the writers of Two and a Half Men.
I knew that I had seen this thing before.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%96tzi_the_Iceman
-Ponderonymous
In honor of this win, I will be giving Jed a ham sandwich, and a pair of Levi’s brand jeans. Please report to the Hostess stand to collect your prizes.
Too bad the Portuguese Man of War wern’t near. They could have saved Penny and us with a good stinging.
WHyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! One was enough.
Are you trying to raise money for Spina Bifida, Fetal Asian Alcohol Syndrome,Tattoos Anonymous and Bring Our Teenage Runaways home from Thailand all at once.
As a concerned pervert, parent, and hatter I will donate 1 Thai dollar to your cause.
There goes my theory that the first picture was on a dare.
Remove this pic. He reminds me too much of WWII prison camp photos which someone douched-up. Seriously.
My eyes! The goggles do nothing!!
Thank the Lord I’m full of gin so my eyes did not combust when I saw this new and even more hideous visual Hell of Sleestak Jed and Pasty Penny.
DB1, you owe us an off-Friday ass pear for that you twisted, evil bastard!
PUT THE HAT BACK ON! …NOW!!!!!
Why you being such a ‘baghunter hatter, DB1?
I guess you can see the tatts on a stick figure after all. This photo causes physical & emotional discomfort. I squint so hard in a futile attempt to un-see this atrocity that my head may implode.
Ugh. And just when I was thinking “Hey, at least she’s leaning away from him.”
I am surprised that the camera lasted after the first picture – and after having to look at “it” again, I think Jed is the Sleestak of the future…
how many species of marine life become extinct every time these two take a swim?
@Steve L
42.
On the plus side (in evolutionary terms) most of these are bacterial life forms and he does replace them by spontaneously mutating their horrified corpses into freakish new bugs with his douchal aura. You wondered where new variants of staphylococcus came from? Look no further…
Fucking insomnia. I have to see this savage manorexic again. What happened to men. I just shot a moose out of season, cut it up after pulling it out of a ditch with a truck. Banged Mrs. Kroeger while she was asleep and drank a bottle of scotch. Now I have to cook for the young ones who will see this picture today to know that I will terrify any guy that comes near me. Particularly the savage anorexic paedophiles like this dude? May he never be seen again.
Wait, I’m confused…this is a photo of the hamster DB1 set afire, right?
The camera adds 10 pounds doesn’t it? That means he’s got a BMI of -5, right?
yeesh
did a slobbering cow lick his hair?