Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Jed The Creepy Wankscrote Says “I Rock!”

To celebrate his victory in the Monthly, Jed the Creepy Wankscrote ditched Penny for her older, punkier sister, Holla, and they decided to rock out with their crocs out.

In a related story, Tim Burton sued Holla’s leg for copyright infringement.

# posted by douchebag1
9:49 am April, 21 Bagnonymous said...

Oh great, Edward Scissorhands gets to look right at Jed’s greasy taint while he’s creepily porking Holla…

9:52 am April, 21 Army of DOuche-ness said...

Holla is gorgeous.

AoD

9:53 am April, 21 retard said...

Satan’s toilet backed up & out floated these two. Please plunge them back to hell.

10:04 am April, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY FUCCEN EYES! For the love of God and all that is my eyesight cut this shit out DB1.

Wankscrote’s taint mutated and is now on his wrist??? I guess living on the MOBRO 4000 with all that medical waste will do that to you. I guess it makes you want to put yo-yo’s in your ears too.

10:14 am April, 21 Vin Douchal said...

Shark fishermen everywhere should be licking their chops at how easy it would be to attach these two to the tackle and float ’em out there for the big catch…

10:15 am April, 21 Baleen said...

Now I’m regretting my vote. Even Jesus’s ballsack can’t erase Jed’s image from my mind.

10:21 am April, 21 El Caganer said...

I say it again, no hott having carnie freaks do not belong on this site. This is a good example of the responsibility of voting.

10:21 am April, 21 Bagnonymous said...

Every morning, while putting in my contact lenses, I have the opportunity to poke my eyes out with my finger. But I don’t. And then later on, for some absurd reason, I visit this website. Please tell me how this makes sense.

10:28 am April, 21 Baleen said...

Vin, please post some links to hotties stat! I need some relief!

10:54 am April, 21 Vin Douchal said...

Okay, if you insist.

Claudia, 36-23-34

10:54 am April, 21 Douchble Helix said...

While a forensic examination of the tattoos confirms this is the Jed-bag, my eye still don’t believe what I just saw.

10:58 am April, 21 Baleen said...

For now, my cockk is happy! Thanks Vin.

10:59 am April, 21 Wheezer said...

1) retard 9:53 a.m. FTW

2) I think his neck tatt reads “Choda strain dysentery”

3) Thank you, Vin (10:54 a.m.) – that was necessary

11:04 am April, 21 Deltus said...

I just had a terrible, awful thought. What if Holla is actually Penny, with 6 months in between the beach pic and the above pic? Meaning in that short time, Jed had tainted Penny enough that she got a bunch of stupid piercings, chopped her hair all to shit, and lost the innocent look she was rocking back at the beach.

No, I can’t go there. The thought is just too horrible.

11:08 am April, 21 Scooby Douche said...

It’s your own damn fault, all you people who voted for this dick wad in the Monthly. I curse you all. Now suffer the punishment for your sins. Look, look until your eyes burn out.

Brenda, come to me Brenda, and I will gently wash away the pain of your rejection at the hands of these cretins. And by wash away, I mean rinse the inside of your love tunnel with my reproductive juice.

11:21 am April, 21 Wheezer said...

@Deltus – you may be onto something. She got a new tatt and her braces…..sprouted.
…..
Maybe the Greico virus has developed a new strain and taken on deadly new characteristics.

11:37 am April, 21 Scroteophobic said...

No wonder Edward looks sad and worried there on Holla’s leg. Odds are he has been smacked in the face by Jed’s balls as he gets ready for the charge of the pasty brigade.

Great. Now I have an image of Jed’s balls draped over Johnny Depp in my head. Dr Bunsen? Any chance I could borrow a large firearm and a piece of string?

11:55 am April, 21 Chad Kroeger said...

Jedward Penishands ate Winona Ryder when she was in rehab and shat out this pierced freak.

12:14 pm April, 21 Douche Dastardly said...

Jed Scrote is a douche without dispute. This pic proves it. Before I just had the urge to flush him, but now I want to roll him in a joint and sell him to Keith Richards in exchange for a back stage pass and some sloppy seconds on groupies.
.
I kind of like the hot though I feel less guilty about “accidentally” tripping into boob while on line for the bathroom at the club than I would with Penny. Even with face metal I wouldn’t kick out of the bed for eating crackers.

1:11 pm April, 21 The_Postdouchster_General said...

EWWWWWW

I now kno why momma told me not to talk to strangers. We must warn/hide the children!

1:39 pm April, 21 Ed Hardouche said...

Why does DB1 hate us?

2:25 pm April, 21 Claude Douchenburg said...

I didn’t vote for him. And just cuz he got DB of the month doesn’t mean he can bring on femalian douchebags. He ought to have his crown taken away. Ya like the swank joint they are in? Check out the table and chair in the background. Must be some kind of unisex douche cave.

2:29 pm April, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Scroteophobic

If you have an FFL (federal firearms license in U.S.) then I’ll send you my refurbished SKS. It shoots a NATO 7.62mm cartridge. If your feeling more “playful” I’ll send you a 9mm. The string, now you’ll just have to get that yourself. Fuccen stoopid gun laws.

2:39 pm April, 21 Scroteophobic said...

@Dr Bunsen
Bad news. I’m not an American. I live on the other side of the pond. Tell you what – I have done some back of envelope calculations and I reckon that if you stand at a point with latitude 50 43 20 and fire due east there is a small chance you’ll hit me if you use some sort of funky range extended ammo. Base bleed, rocket assist, that sort of thing. Granted it has to be fucking large rocket… So could you randomly fire a burst at angles ranging from about 45 to 85 degrees every Wednesday at 1430Z? I’ll stand outside and hope. I’m sure the relatives of everyone else on that latitude will understand if we show them the three photos of Jed. In fact they’ll probably join me…

2:46 pm April, 21 Condouchious say... said...

please DB1, i don’t frequent this site to be physically ill upon viewing these pics.

i come here to be filled with murderous rage after seeing these scrotes in the prescence of hotts…and to look at boobies…and of course asspear.

2:50 pm April, 21 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

By the delicate and feminine nature of Jed’s pinky we can be certain that his earlobe has seen more cock than Edward Scissorhands

3:12 pm April, 21 DarkSock said...

Why does that boy have my cockk rings in his ears?
.
I don’t care if they ARE dishwasher safe; he can keep them now.

3:37 pm April, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Scroteophobic

I could never shoot an Exeter or Pompey fan (I making a huge assumption here). They already have enough problems. I knew you were from the U.K. based on football knowledge and other Brit-speak (rubbish, fiddly-bits, take away). My thesis adviser was a Brit and through sheer repetition I’ve developed a habit of using “bloody” way too much for the yokels where I’m at.

As far as the ammo, I’m afraid you’re screwed. In this country I can’t have ANY fun with firearms (stoopid liberals and their knee-jerk reactions). Why can’t I have a fully automatic firearm? Jeez! No grenade launchers, no bazooka, no ICBMs. How can I possibly have fun????

Oh, that’s right, you can’t own handguns but rifles are OK? Only for sport and if you’ve filled out 83462078y6502873853078456308495 forms and paid $9,000,000 for the privilege right?

4:53 pm April, 21 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

Jed – you so totally DO NOT rock. Based on scrawny quotient, I’d say this may be Jed’s sister. Therefore completely un-shaggable.

5:46 pm April, 21 Anonymous said...

WTF is up with his nasty fukkin wrist??!!!

9:53 pm April, 21 Steve L. said...

i’m starting to think that Sandra Bullock might one day cheat on Jesse James by getting it on with Jed. somebody has to bring about twisted and demented balance to the universe, right? ayup.

10:27 pm April, 21 Whoop-di-douche said...

OMIGOD, that’s a helluva wart on his wrist.

My dog could jump through those ear hoops.

These two belong in a piranha tank. Come to think of it, they look like they’ve BEEN in a piranha tank.

Let’s just put them in a squirrel cage and let them eat nutz.

11:53 pm April, 21 Scroteophobic said...

@Dr Bunsen
OK. I’ll have to find some other way to erase the memory then. I think I’ll go shout “Go Saints!” outside Fratton Park…

5:58 am April, 22 mr.reeve said...

Disturbo-Bag is back!!! Just give him the crown for D-Bag of the year!!!
http://theproblemwithmentoday.blogspot.com/2010/04/talks-too-loud-on-cell-phone-guy.html

7:53 am April, 22 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Scroteophobic

Don’t do that. I look forward to reading your comments. And you have to stick around to keep the nerd quotient high enough!

10:34 am April, 22 Steve said...

Oh christ. I didn’t even NOTICE his ears in the first pic. There was just too much too take in all at once. Starting with his teeth.

11:18 am April, 22 boatbutter said...

Jed’s the chick from the Bow Wow Wow video.

1:54 pm April, 22 Scroteophobic said...

@Dr Bunsen
Aw shucks. No worries, I have found another way to blot out the pain. CH3CH2OH. My new bestest friend in the whole world. Already I can feel my neuronal network reconfiguring into a new form, one in which the landscape has no trace whatsoever of Jed. Sweet blissful intoxication…

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