Friday, April 16, 2010

Joey Invents Twitter Glasses

Sunglasses that scroll your latest Twitter post on them? Genius!

So the robot turns into a bug!

Yeah, I got nothin’.

It’s Friday.

But Kendra’s lithe and supple firmaments do make me want to lead hiking expeditions in search of dubloons in the Scottish highlands to finance a winery, to learn Latin and Sanskrit so that I can train myself in the recitation of the verses of ancient poetry,and then spank her supple thighs with a leather prong while reciting the lyrics to Prince’s “Darling Nikki.”

# posted by douchebag1
12:46 pm April, 16 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Why’s all the douches today got green bands?

.

Is it Green Band Douche Day?

.

Was that the first name that the Green Day Band came up with?

12:47 pm April, 16 Bagnonymous said...

Golly, she looks nice and soft. Like this guy’s pecker.

12:50 pm April, 16 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Wait!

.

He’s wearing a muscle shirt with striped pants!

.

10 bucks says his other look is a striped suit jacket with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows!

.

20 bucks says his job classification is bouncer!

12:56 pm April, 16 scrotum pole said...

Check out this photo of Medusa, while on vacation at a park in Salerno, “eyeing little girls with bad intent.”

12:57 pm April, 16 Vin Douchal said...

WTF is that hideous growth on his shoulder?

It looks like a tapeworm from my pit bull’s tremulous bung hole

1:04 pm April, 16 Deltus said...

@Vin Douchal: I do believe that the Mark Of The Choadwank. Good eye, sir, good eye!

1:09 pm April, 16 End the Haberdouchery said...

That tattoo is the logo for Local Buggery Union 1342 in Sandusky, Ohio.

1:11 pm April, 16 Crucial Head said...

Why is Matt Stafford speaking to Buffalo Beast in the background?

1:13 pm April, 16 fatness said...

I believe they tag them from the factory that way now. Makes them easier to round up.

Yeah, I got nothin’ either.

Nice of him to check her for appendicitis tho.

1:17 pm April, 16 El Queso said...

She looks like another Kardashian skank.

I’m sure when he’s wearing those:

a) he’s confused because he can’t read backwards.

and

2) otherwise, he can’t see shit.

1:19 pm April, 16 Anthony LaBaglia said...

I always wwanted to see a chick masturbate with a magazine.

1:23 pm April, 16 scrotum pole said...

Adding insult to injury, the Buffalo Beast H.O.M Monument is desecrated.

1:25 pm April, 16 El Queso said...

+Apparently he’s a Virgo.

.

hrm… not the manliest of zodiacs

.

Funny, I would’ve pegged him for a Taurus.

.

and by “Taurus”, I mean: he who goes to San Fermin in Pamplona and stops in the middle of the calle and bends over to see just how far Zalamero or Reventón could jam their horns up his roid butt.

.

And by “Zalamero or Reventón”, I mean Rosie O’Donnell or Suze Orman.

1:29 pm April, 16 Whoop-di-douche said...

If’ he’d a just moved that hand a foot higher, we’d have another Pumpy.

Personally, I find tatts from the Book of Kells rather interesting.

And folks, we have a real “mark of the douche” on Joey’s forehead, with detached balls no less.

Kendra…a lean machine with a surprisingly modest bra-top for a bikini, proving that sometimes good taste in body-baring attire does occur, along with the tasty thighs, of course.

1:35 pm April, 16 DarkSock said...

Here Joey demonstrates the dreaded 8-finger douche-punch; also known as the “dim-wit mak”.

Now within 3-5 days Kendra will abort 10-day old Little Joey.

He must do this a lot. When you self-delusionally buy Magnum Rubbers and unroll them over your cocktail weenie they tend to slip off during boink-time.

1:35 pm April, 16 jonezy said...

speaking of ridiculous shades, Snookie is still trying to out-Bleethe all other Bleethes

1:37 pm April, 16 Vin Douchal said...

Hockey playoffs going full tilt. Pay attention folks and don’t waste your time with that trite NBA

That reminds me that I could watch this hit all 57 times that they replay it. Clean, hard and bone rattling.

Campbell lays out Umberger

He put Umberger on the trolley tracks

1:41 pm April, 16 Vin Douchal said...

Announcer: That is not the gaze of someone that’s with us

Heh, could say that about 85% of the choads pictured on this website

1:52 pm April, 16 jonezy said...

but Vin, did you see the Green Men penalty box bomb?

2:02 pm April, 16 Big said...

It really seems like those glasses should say Estrada

2:04 pm April, 16 El Caganer said...

Keep bringing the bikini babes. They have been great!

2:19 pm April, 16 doucheywallnuts said...

How about a tattoo that scrolls your latest Twitter post?

4:16 pm April, 16 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“No asshole, and for the last time, that’s not where your dick goes. Jesus Christ!”

7:39 pm April, 16 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

My eyes aren’t what they used to be, but this lady looks a lot like the Hott in “Not So Fast Xenu” below.

5:18 am April, 18 Steve L. said...

if Twitter does not sue for trademark violation, then Twitter is a douchebag.

5:20 am April, 18 Steve L. said...

once in a blue moon, the idealist in me would rather that Kendra recite Darling Nikki lyrics to me instead of me doing that for her.

who can resist fantasizing about Kendra crooning “call me up whenever you wanna grind” in your ears?

5:20 am April, 18 Steve L. said...

but usually, i’m not an idealist.

because some fantasies are so awesome they kinda creep you out.

5:27 am April, 18 Steve L. said...

by the by, two days ago my horoscope said that April 16 was a very bad day for all Virgos. that was the most accurate horoscope i’ve ever read.

7:45 am April, 19 DarkSock said...

Am I the only one that thinks Snooki looks like Buddy Hackett’s corpse stuff with chicken fat and upholstered in pleather?

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