Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Kosmo KissyLips Abs a Blonde

The key to truly appreciating the aesthetic violations offered in this image of Monday’s Kosmo Kissylips sliding in to bother Philippa until she lets him buy her an appletini lies in the “double point.”

A hand gesture that states three things:

1. Yo, I got this girl yo

2. I gesture with two fingers, just like I tickle the lady parts

3. My nipp pierce says “stud”

# posted by douchebag1
4:01 pm April, 13 Steve L. said...

a double point is able to convey three messages?

douchebags sure are getting ahead of the curve. the curve of poo, that is.

4:01 pm April, 13 scrotum pole said...

Unimpressed, Buffalo Beast lights up another Marlboro and prepares to quietly leave the room.

4:01 pm April, 13 Douche of Hazard said...

Is he wearing her glasses? He should be wearing her bra!!!

4:21 pm April, 13 fatness said...

Once again, his moobs are bigger than her boobs.

Seems to be a trend today.

4:27 pm April, 13 Medusa Oblongata said...

I’ve just never liked this. That whole muscly thing, yecch. It’s just icky. It makes me look like a flabby fatass, for one. Two, it’s just weird, it’s like fondling a wheelbarrow full of pumpkins. Three, you somehow expect their penis to be proportional. And it NEVER is. And then you know why they lift weights in the first place. Mayhaps my standards are low, but give me a scrawny dude, ow one who’s a little mushy, but who’s packing a bat over a guy like this clown. They won’t spend the whole time flexing and trying to catch their own reflection in anything shiny nearby.

4:35 pm April, 13 Vin Douchal said...

@ Medusa

I look in the mirror because I’m a voyeur. If my neighbor’s hapless son is macking on a hottie in his upstairs room with the curtain open, be damned straight I’m watching so why not watch myself and my not-quiet-a-bat?

“just like I tickle the lady parts” as in Francine’s “naughty girlie parts?”

4:53 pm April, 13 Chad Kroeger said...

What the fuck is wrong with people in the great USA?

I know the young’ns have been brainwashed with a lifetime of info ab commercials, p90X, the Gottis, and all the bullshit from Tony Liitle (another total douchebag liar)

and Suzanne Sommers and all that crap. So they get in good shape.

But where are there bars that allow men to take their shirts off? In Canada the only place one would find this is at a cold beach on a hot day or a waterpark.

4:58 pm April, 13 Deltus said...

I think you’re all wrong. He’s asking, and gesturing, for scissors, to cut out the alien creature that has burrowed itself into his side. That seems to be where they prefer to gestate.

5:28 pm April, 13 Troy Tempest said...

this is a test on a tiny small, and very slow computer. It is so slow I can type like normally, complete an entire paragraph, go get a drink, come back, and the letters are still appearing on screen.

I will now click SUBMIT COMMENTS and see if the archaic browser on this sweet, if wheezing old machine, will send and render my comment. Here’s hoping.

I’ll will click submit as soon as the letters stop appearing. Fuck this is painful.

5:30 pm April, 13 Troy Tempest said...

Well, look at that. it worked. This is still unusably slow, though. Literally, I can do a solid three count between each letter…

this blows.

5:36 pm April, 13 Army of Douche-ness said...

Without a doubt., most women have the know that a guy this swollen and so perfectly so, is un-naturally swollen…he did NOT get this ripped building a pyramid or working the land.

likewise, some men love fake its, eyelashes. hair, etc.

barring tattoos and piercings, which dont change people’s sizes, i am opposed and not attracted to anything un-natural.

instead, i am waiting for like true bionic women with like laser vision and arms that have guns come out and all that kind of terminator shit…id encourage chicks to do the same.

AoD

5:56 pm April, 13 Douche Bigalow said...

Kosmo is gestering the method he uses to stick the ‘roids in his ass. Phillipa is impressed by his artificial chest inflation, just as he is be hers.

6:49 pm April, 13 doucheywallnuts said...

Beefy McGee (below, fat) should take a page out of Kosmo’s workout and steroid-use book. I think Kosmo’s hand gesture is he’s calling for his Midnight injection of Test.

6:54 pm April, 13 Just Sayin said...

Every woman should have a male friend who does gay porn – they’re so easy to talk to, and you don’t have to worry about the complications of dating or sex.

7:20 pm April, 13 Douchelips said...

The muscles say ‘This picture is all about me.’ The point says ‘How about Philippa here with the see-thru shirt.’ And the sunglasses say ‘I’m a DOUCHEBAG.!’

7:45 pm April, 13 The Blessed Scrotini said...

The irony in this picture is he’s got this look goin that says “hey douchebag can’t ya see im wit this fine piece a ass”

Oh, only if he had seen where he went wrong to begin with.

8:08 pm April, 13 Denny DelVecchio said...

You’re far too good for that panting He-Ape, Ms. Vonn.

Far too good.

8:52 pm April, 13 fatness said...

@Army of Douche-ness, 5:36:

“likewise, some men love fake its, eyelashes. hair, etc.”

.

True, but most of them like it on their gals, not themselves like this cumstain.

9:04 pm April, 13 The_Postdouchster_General said...

Pec implants and a nipple piercing. Wow! Kissey Lips ur deep!

9:13 pm April, 13 DarkSock said...

Actually I think he’s saying “Yo I be all ’bout peenin’ neez bitchz in dey secont’ trimester…bweeee!”.

@ Troy: Dayum Professor take a lesson from those dewey-eyed sophomores I hpoe you’re boning and get a data phone; that’s how I do 90% of my posts, including this one, as well as my admIn duties. And by “admin duties” I mean beating back the feverish spam assault of Friday Links 2 weeks back…..WTF was that all about? I must have zapped 100+ posts about Viagra. Don’t these spammers know Pfah’s BEEN gone?

10:16 pm April, 13 Douchie Howser M.D. said...

With Bono’s recent ‘roid use, he has achieved Stage 6 status.

10:33 pm April, 13 Baleen said...

Psst! don’t tell her that she’s about to drink out of a votive candle. heehee!

11:13 pm April, 13 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Vin 4:35

In case I hadn’t mentioned it, your ode to Francine is a thing of beauty. and by beauty I mean lotion and Kleenex.

.

Well, in a few hours I’ll be on a plane bound for Italy so you all won’t have the displeasure of smelling me around here. I’d love to pop in and see what’s going on but I’ll be rather busy touring and sightseeing. And by sightseeing I mean getting every available hole in my body stuffed full of hot Italian sausage. Ma che cazzo, son’una puttana!!

.

Either way, I’m hoping to gather some Italobag specimens for the cause. I’m hoping I can write this trip off as a research project. Buona settimana, Stronzi!!! 😉

11:14 pm April, 13 Medusa Oblongata said...

^ Get your email address right, whoreface.

11:27 pm April, 13 Jacques Doucheteau said...

His nipp pierce says “I’m a catcher; not a pitcher.”

.

I can only imagine what his posterior must look like. You ever torn a chocolate eclair in half?

11:32 pm April, 13 Jacques Doucheteau said...

And then shoved that eclair up a wombat’s ass?

.

BTW Medusa, I love the new gravatar. The whole anonymous-pussy-talking-shit look is very postmodern avant-garde.

12:35 am April, 14 Sir David Douchenborough said...

“”The Scrotinus musculatii are the most competitive of the natural douche world as they attempt perfect mating displays via excessive physical training, induced by steroids or otherwise. However, as with any excessive allocation, there is a significant cost, especially to their cognitive faculties. Here, we see the typical reaction of such an individual when asked to count; rather than fully responding to the request, he predictably stops very early and exhibits a hand gesture, either pointing to him or his potential mate as an evasive distraction “””

12:48 am April, 14 Euripidouche said...

he’s overbitting hard, the dj must be playing a def leppard song.

6:05 am April, 14 Tony Ventresca said...

She’s going to pork up in the years to come. She thinks she’s scored well with this fine specimen of manhood (barf) but as soon as she starts gaining weight he will drop her like the hot potato she will start resembling.

I of course would not give a damn how much weight she gains, as long as that beaming smile doesn’t change.

6:16 am April, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

My grandmother used to have shades like his. Before they made her stop driving. Because she hit 7 parked cars. And ran over a moose. Coming home from church. True story.

And this is something that just bothers/fascinates me in general: what is the fuccen purpose of having a ring on your thumb? Can someone explain. I’m sure Meatcakes here whacks off about 40 times a day so I’d imagine a lot of chafing on his big 1″.

6:33 am April, 14 Claude Douchenburg said...

I would like to know what the temple graphics are on his glasses? I am thinking Mini Mouse.

8:01 am April, 14 fatness said...

Dr. B: That’s his cockkring, but is thumb is the only appendage it isn’t too big for.

8:14 am April, 14 Evil_Redheaded_Stepchild said...

Excellent, Phillippa. Now just take that glass of whatever-you’re-holding (I hope it’s baby barf), and let him have it right between the clavicles. Then take pictures when he cries.

9:26 pm April, 14 Stephanie said...

hear’s what he’s saying “she called me a dick?” oh man…

Leave a Reply

What is 8 + 5 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)