Monday, April 12, 2010

Kosmo Kissylips

Kosmo Kissylips has heard that classic Jerz Douche is now self-referential and ironic. But he’s havin’ none of it.

The Ladies of Scottsdale need some uber-game thrown at them by Kosmo and his Bros like a record-breaking Sidd Finch fastball.

And so they shall.

Jennifer’s father was indifferent to her dreams of opening her own hand bag salon. So she’ll let Kosmo get a crack at her cooter as payback.

# posted by douchebag1
3:17 pm April, 12 colossus of choads said...

what a fucking dickhead.

thats all

3:27 pm April, 12 clam fist said...

Kissylips while kissing is ok. Notta

3:29 pm April, 12 Vin Douchal said...

Heh heh , Sidd Finch.

I bet George Plimpton would be a reg if he were alive today.

His avatar would be Alex Karras in a dress and his moniker would be Mad Douches and Bleeths

3:39 pm April, 12 Mr. Bagoo said...

I hate him. I hate him so much.

3:52 pm April, 12 Troy Tempest said...

He is making kissy lips because his brain is infected with tapeworms. He walks around like that all day. Sometimes he goes into spasms. Sad, really.

3:59 pm April, 12 The_Postdouchster_General said...

Gah! Take it easy there Bromance, save it for the next episode of Cheaters.

4:18 pm April, 12 Just Sayin said...

Do they wear those shades in bed together?

4:30 pm April, 12 Medusa Oblongata said...

What does that say in his shades? Sele Arc?

Seed Circus?

Bee Hard? Wtf.

4:37 pm April, 12 scrotum pole said...

His glasses say “select cilantro.”

Kind of a dumb place for a recipe.

4:49 pm April, 12 Chad Kroeger said...

Deh is fuccking craxy sexy man lips. I want to punch them wit my cocck, then foot, then headbutt. Then I wud do her butt with my head.

4:50 pm April, 12 Anthony Bourdouche said...

Kosmo can kiss my ass. As far as Jennifer, I would run butt naked through a colony of Africanized bees covered in the Queen Bee’s love juice just to shake her hand.

5:01 pm April, 12 Deltus said...

His face fung (ie. stubble) is sharp enough that, after she kissed his cheek, she tried to pull away but her lips and nose stayed stuck to his face. Here she is trying to pull down, sadly to no avail.

.

And @clam fist: kissy lips while kissing is okay as long as it is even remotely directed towards the other person, particularly if you’re both air kissing. She’s actually kissing him, and he’s throwing kissy lips to the camera. -*DOUCHE*-

5:29 pm April, 12 melvil duchi said...

ch ch ch chia kosmo

the glasses read “sell me cipro”

6:21 pm April, 12 Anonymous said...

Jo

Jo ELECTRO

7:46 pm April, 12 doucheywallnuts said...

I don’t know if you have a douchebag accessory hall of fame, but those white sun glasses would be the first item to induct.

7:48 pm April, 12 Bigphatnotadouche said...

DB1 – Great George Plimpton reference which harkens back to time before greasy muscled up dudes with stupid writing on their sunglasses.

The world in the 80’s was a simplier time when people wore tight shorts, big hair and big plastic hats.

Not That I ever wore big plastic hats that said SKOAL.

9:58 pm April, 12 DarkSock said...

These photos are a compelling argument fo all potential

fathers to speed-prong their genitals into a ruinous pulp

with sharpened salad forks before they spawn daughters into this douche-den of a world.

10:01 pm April, 12 DarkSock said...

In the great Atari/Colecovision wars of the late 70’s Plimpton shills for Intellivision.

La-Hoo-Zurr…

11:43 pm April, 12 Baleen said...

11:46 pm April, 12 Baleen said...

Actually, this one FTW.

12:16 am April, 13 Steve L. said...

little did Jennifer know, now only is she not getting her handbag salon, she`s also losing her inheritance. she`ll need to hire inheritance retention consultants like Paris Hilton or J-UNIT Stackhouse.

uh, i need to puke.

6:01 am April, 13 Mr. White said...

That’s the least passionate “kiss” I’ve ever seen. It looks like she’s trying to wipe her morning mouth smegma off on his cheek.

6:43 am April, 13 scrotum pole said...

Indeed, Mr. White.

Her half-hearted attempt is a good indicator of her efforts in the bedroom.

And, since I’ll never get a shot with her, that’s what I’ll tell myself to find comfort.

(That, and ‘bating furiously to her image on my monitor.)

6:44 am April, 13 Deltus said...

@Mr. White – HAHAHA “morning mouth smegma” BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

7:10 am April, 13 John McenDouche said...

Jennifer appears to have been the recipient of metaphysical body check into the boards. Face all smushed, beauty deformed, and all because this dirt bag wants to capture the attention of the camera as opposed to savouring this delight like a fine bottle of chianti [insert favre bean joke here].

8:11 am April, 13 clam fist said...

@deltus

his lips are two inches from hers. Good for him, he’s going to be getting some!

9:06 am April, 13 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I don’t give a shit what his glasses say. They look more like little targets that I can use a sniper rifle on. From 3 feet away. That I’ve converted to full automatic. Shooting .50 cal rounds.

9:08 am April, 13 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

She’s so into this “smooch” that she fell asleep. Kosmo didn’t realize it until she started to snore like a chainsaw.

9:38 am April, 13 DarkSock said...

Crazy ambien sex is not for everyone apparently.

Perhaps they should try it while driving the Pacific Coast Highway at an alarming rate of speed.

Get Some! Mad air.

10:53 am April, 13 Steve L. said...

@ myself 12:16 AM,

NOT only.

i’m committed like that

12:39 pm April, 13 Scroteophobic said...

@Darksock 0938

Or they could try it in a boat. I hear that can be invigorating.

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