Saturday, April 10, 2010

No More "Big Eye Joe"

Bianca writes in about Thursday’s BigEye Joe:

—-

Douchebag1,

While I absolutely admire your self-depricating humor, I’m requesting that you remove the picture posted on April 6, 2010 from your site.

This photograph is my property, and was posted on your site without my permission. I, nor any of the people in this photo, give you the legal right to post this on your site.

I appreciate your professionalism and respect for intellectual property.

Sincerely,

Bianca-

—–

And a few minutes later:

——

P.S.

Please familiarize yourself with the California law I’ve below.

I am giving you no more than 24 hours to remove my photograph from your site.

If said photograph remains associated with “Hot Chicks with Douche Bags”, I will file a complain with the L.A. Superior Court, and you will hear from my attorney.

Thank you for your cooperation.

“…without such person’s prior consent, or, in the case of a minor, the

prior consent of his parent or legal guardian, shall be liable for

any damages sustained by the person or persons injured as a result

thereof. In addition, in any action brought under this section, the

person who violated the section shall be liable to the injured party

or parties in an amount equal to the greater of seven hundred fifty

dollars ($750) or the actual damages suffered by him or her as a

result of the unauthorized use, and any profits from the unauthorized

use that are attributable to the use and are not taken into account

in computing the actual damages…”

THAT’S > $750 X THE NUMBER OF PROFESSIONAL ACTORS ON SAID PHOTOGRAPH WHOSE IMAGE YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO USE NOR ASSOCIATE WITH YOUR DOUCHEBAG WEBSITE.

CIVIL CODE

SECTION 3344-3346

——-

Wow, $750 times the number of professional actors in that pic? I’ll owe the equivalent of the amount of trees cut down to make a yearly printing of the dollar bill.

Or something like that.

# posted by douchebag1
3:20 pm April, 10 Chad Kroeger said...

First.

File a complain? Her atttorney? Fuck off!

3:28 pm April, 10 JJ said...

Sounded real nice… then the follow-up. I guess she’s some sort of bleeth 😉

3:31 pm April, 10 clam fist said...

Why couldn’t she have waited a little longer before her follow up demand? Now she has proven to the world that she deserved to be featured on this site. F*cking whobag jumpoffs.

3:37 pm April, 10 Vin Douchal said...

You know, Bianca, they say any publicity is good publicity.

If you are actually an actor, which I really, really, really doubt, you would love your photo splashed everywhere.

Isn’t the issue more like you have no sense of humor? BTW, the courts of the great state of New Jersey have already determined you have no case.

Bugger off.

Warmly,

Vin J Douchal, Professional Fucknut Union of Fontucky

3:39 pm April, 10 clam fist said...

By the way, that monkey is the biggest f*cking douchebag I have seen on HCwDBs. Look at his smug grin. He taunts us with his hotts on the beach. “look at me! I have three hotties on the beach. While you are whacking off in your parent’s basement.”

Rub it Chimpy. Rub it in.

3:40 pm April, 10 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Yeah, but while everyone’s jowling about the whobags, that there mehnkey is copping a sly feel of boobie. And his grin says he knows exactly what’s goin’ down!

But is also looks like he’s grown a white chin strap! Has the Greico Virus jumped species?

3:43 pm April, 10 Adolf Skroatler said...

If she would of asked nicely, then off it would of came.

Bleeth,

ASvB

ps. I’ll be back next month, chow.

3:44 pm April, 10 green said...

all douchebags are actors, but not all actors are douchebags. the shame is that the only douchebag actor with talent in this photo is the chimp, and even he goes for the idiotic “boob grab”, a site gag highly revered by all douchebags and the women who love them (which makes them douchebags by default). douchebag, douchebag, douchebag, chimp

3:46 pm April, 10 Lithi said...

What clam fist said. What a dumbass.

3:51 pm April, 10 El Caganer said...

That monkey pisses me off. My back hair is just as thick as his, and bikini clad hotts never want to pet me. And monkey, it obviously isn’t a nude beach. Put some shorts on already.

3:53 pm April, 10 El Caganer said...

Maybe this isn’t a monkey. It could be Bagpolean quit shaving. They’re about the same height.

3:56 pm April, 10 green said...

suddenly “intellectual property” just seems like a ridiculous term.

3:56 pm April, 10 clam fist said...

@lithi

me or the monkey?

’cause it could work either way.

3:57 pm April, 10 jordante said...

So DB1, do you comply with these people just to avoid being annoyed or having to deal with an attorney?

We do have that freedom of press thing…

Would they argue that you are using their pictures for profit by advertising and whatnot?

3:57 pm April, 10 Vin Douchal said...

I dunnoh, I think that chimp’s got game.

He’s got no gaudy bling or sattellite dish-sized watch, no tatts , no hat tilt…..

Also, he’s grabbing on the tallest one there. I wouldn’t miind burying my face betwixt her long pegs.

Sorry fellers, NotaDoucheMonkey

4:11 pm April, 10 clam fist said...

@Vin

A monkey with a watch? Now that just ridiculous.

4:17 pm April, 10 Scooby Douche said...

DB1,

Your humble servant immediately reached for his copy of the California Civil Code, which he keeps right here on the desk, and flipping to section 3344 reads:

“Any person who knowingly uses another’s name, voice, signature, photograph or likeness…for purposes of advertising or selling, or soliciting purchases of, products, merchandise, goods or services, without such person’s prior consent…shall be liable for any damages sustained by the person…”

Since you are using the photo not for any of those purposes, but only for the purpose of mocking the humorless, ugly, tasteless, idiot, retard, slime-infested, Greco-virus-ridden, Stackhouse-blowing, skuzzy jumpoff whobag, there is no violation.

Fuck you ugly bitch! You deserve to be mocked. May you be fist pumped for eternity by Fish Slap and Jory Porsche.

4:25 pm April, 10 El Queso said...

So tired of stupid whobags and their takedown reqs.

4:25 pm April, 10 creature said...

I keep a copy of the California Civil Code on my nightstand just to whack jumpoff whobags in the temple when they start talking… btw, DB1, were did you get this shot of me prowling the shore of Manhattan Beach in my ape suit… bikini hotts always fall for it, I gets me some good gropes… heh, heh!

4:47 pm April, 10 Chad Kroeger said...

@scooby douche

I must concur. And by concur I mean I am an attorney.

And by I am an attorney I mean I am a douchebag. And…this site does advertise a book, a tv show, etc. However this case would be frivolous since no harm is done, the internet is still mostly public domain, and it would be difficult to prove from one picture that a likeness was specifically used for profit.

And by profit, I mean I still gfet a boner 30 years later when I see Princess Leah with Jabba the Hut.

And by Star Wars I mean I must check my daughter’s Facebook entries for the week.

4:48 pm April, 10 Fat, Drunk, and Douchey said...

Dear Bianca,

You are a no talent cunt. Good luck with that carrer of yours. Be sure to come back and let us know when your first bukkake video comes out. Until then, crawl back in your hole.

Sincerely,

FD & D

4:49 pm April, 10 Wheezer said...

Weakness…..

I Googled the post’s title (BIGEYE JOE SAYS “POW POW!”) and found the pic. If you do the same, you can see this rather innocuous shot once again (as long as it’s on that mippin page) – I won’t link it because I don’t want the Boss to encounter any more of this nonsense from this Bleeth.

She really shouldn’t have any worries about that pic – it’s just a party shot and no one really looks out of order.

4:52 pm April, 10 colt Curtis said...

yeah thats right hatters I am filin a lawsuit effective 0800 tomorrow all Binacas picture will be removed I e big eye pow jose pictures of big Eye joe if there is another one posted there will be more legal matters involved. I now RUN MY OWN law office I will get the documentation prepared for this matter today . hopefully you get this email in time

5:13 pm April, 10 douchebag1 said...

@jordante

I’m under no legal obligation to take down a pic without proof of copyright infringement, but I do it to be nice. Cuz I’m all about bein’ nice to the whobag jumpoffs.

.

-management

5:16 pm April, 10 Wheezer said...

Yo Boss, dat’s cuz U B a cool mofo, yo? Word!

5:16 pm April, 10 Deltus said...

BAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh, you run your own law office, do you?

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

*wipes away tears*

Oh, MAN, that was good!

db1, you need to request proof of ownership of the intellectual property in question. Just being in a photograph does not grant you ownership of the IP. That belongs to the photographer.

Also, I agree in principle with Scooby Douche. She couldn’t prove injury, and you aren’t selling anything with her image, even if she could prove ownership. Which, judging by her piss-poor language skills, I’d bet money she lacks the brain-power to do.

5:29 pm April, 10 MoeDouche said...

To think that all I had to do to get bootie like that was to stop shaving my ass, makes me want to throw myself out the window. Man, I was born in the wrong decade!

5:34 pm April, 10 Chad Kroeger said...

From the Law Office of Ronnie Douche. Have you been audited by the IRS?

Dark Sock peed in an Ewok once.

Vin Douchal’s song was appreciated for it country feel and big mockery style by Mrs. Kroeger.

What was Redfascia’s last name? Fuck I’m stoned.

5:40 pm April, 10 Chad Kroeger said...

The comments are scrolling smoothhhhhly now. What am I talking about?

6:56 pm April, 10 MILLS said...

i was bored and as theres no actual douchebag in this pic just a rather cheeky monkey i took the liberty of including some actual pics of a douchebag by the name of cristiano ronaldo which in the final pic of this mini montage he gets his come uppance..

http://img.poprosa.com/2009/06/cristiano-ronaldo_1.jpg

http://forladiesbyladies.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/cristiano_ronaldo_shorts.JPG

http://cdn.buzznet.com/media/jj1//2008/06/cristiano-nereida/cristiano-ronaldo-nereida-gallardo-09.jpg

http://gossip.whyfame.com/files/2009/10/cristiano_ronaldo.jpeg

http://www.cronaldo7.es/imagenes/cristiano_ronaldo_sangre.jpg

7:14 pm April, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Upon further inspection , if you look at the brunette on the left there is a phantom arm grabbing her arse.

So there is actually not one but two groping monkeys in this photo

On only one other occasion was I jealous of a monkey…

7:28 pm April, 10 Wheezer said...

I wonder if DarkSock ever peed in this horse?

7:34 pm April, 10 creature said...

brunette on the left has some crazy kind of abortion prong in her right hand

7:37 pm April, 10 Chad Kroeger said...

@Vin Douchal

Monkey piss video just cured my nervous breakdown. Now I don’t have anything to blame my alcohol and benzodiazepine addiction on you prick.

I was getting used to watching Superbad and drinking myself to drinking my way to precious sleep.. Now I have to see the old Kroeger’s vag and draw pictures of dicks.

7:47 pm April, 10 Mr. Bagoo said...

Tell the wench that punctuation always goes inside the quote marks.

If said photograph remains associated with “Hot Chicks with Douche Bags,” I will file a complain with the L.A. Superior Court, and you will hear from my attorney.

9:14 pm April, 10 Mr. Biggs said...

DB1, at times like this I think you should just offer a permalink to the case where the judge laughed the bleeth out of court, saying so long as it’s already on the internet and used in a satirical matter there’s no case.

In fact, I think the name of the case was called “Some stupid bleeth v. Jay Louis.”

9:33 pm April, 10 DarkSock said...

“Bianca” needs to stand before a jury of her “pee-ers”. Butt-first.

10:39 pm April, 10 DarkSock said...

And Creature: “Abortion Prong = Awesome Band Name

1:07 am April, 11 Baleen said...

Wow. Just wow.

2:43 am April, 11 Lithi said...

Clam, I was talking about your first comment. Come to think of it, that chimp does seem a bit full of himself. Either that or the Situation managed to shrink three feet and not shave.

3:10 am April, 11 Steve L. said...

the Screen Actors Guild will stand to make more money off of Bianca’s parents from a fraud lawsuit than she ever will from HCwDB.

destitute actors are gonna need that money, y’know. this is like charity.

4:05 am April, 11 Deltus said...

Is it possible for a non-human, like I dunno, say a chimp, to be a douchebag?

5:52 am April, 11 massengill said...

I keep my copy of the California Civil Code at my favorite cantina and use it as a booster seat. Ergo, my dog, my hammer and my bar of soap are all my intellectual property. $750 is A LOT of money to a professional actress/barrista/barrister.

7:36 am April, 11 clam fist said...

@Deltus

yep.

9:38 am April, 11 Just Sayin said...

Dear Bianca

This is your vagina calling – please give me another douche – the remains of the last three guys are all caked up in here.

10:58 am April, 11 doucheywallnuts said...

I always get confused by the greater than/less than symbol…I must have some kind of dyslexia.

Also, since I can’t remember what the litigious bleeth in question looks like she mustn’t be too good looking. i say you should have let her file the complaint and spend the money and then take the photo down. The court has more important things to do like arrest and jail those people who won’t be buying government mandated health “insurance.”

12:15 pm April, 11 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Dear Bianca,

Despite all the mocking towards you by the people here, you will always stand out in my heart for your memorable turn as “Barfly #3” in that episode of NCIS: Los Angeles. I hope you have a spot in your den for that Emmy.

Sincerely,

CND

3:15 pm April, 11 Douches Wild said...

I believe that the only professional actor in that pic is the short guy with all the hair, and he would settle out of court for 750 bananas

10:53 pm April, 11 Euripidouche said...

jesus tits!

i don’t know which is more amazing, how hirsute tom cruise is when he goes of the scientology center’s special blend, or how much work it must have taken for him to hide it all these years.

btw, i’m guessing if xenu ever wrote a take down request it would go something like this…

veiled threat

explicit threat

metaphysical threat

blah

blah

legal-legal

request

demand

signature.

5:00 am April, 12 Anonne Huntress said...

I love it when people spout legalese out of context. Not.

8:15 am April, 12 Shakes said...

Yeah, this girls an idiot. If you put something on facebook, shuttefly, myspace… that’s up there for public consumption and can therefore be used by the public for mockery.

Additionally, I don’t know too many attorneys that are going to waste their time going after $750. If they’re collecting 30% of claim that’s $225. The attorneys I know don’t answer the phone for less than $225.

DB1, you got nothing to worry about.

9:58 am April, 12 DarkSock said...

I was going to write a joke about the picture saying it’s amazing how Danny Glover can still pull the hotts at his age but I didn’t want “wow-just-wow” anon to hack up a Midol and infer that as a racist comment, so then I was going to say Abe Vigoda but then that slurs Jewish/Italian/old-as-fuck people, then I was going to make a furries joke but that disparages freaky-deaky folk, so I guess I’ll just put in all in a passive-aggressive rant and post it anyway.

.

.

.

Wait…the Midol comment was misogynist.

.

Wow. Just wow.

10:01 am April, 12 DarkSock said...

My legal advice, Boss:

.

You cannot sue a man that pees in horses.

.

Show me one case – JUST ONE – that’s been decided against a horse pissing man. No such thing. So grab a short but sturdy wooden stool and a 3-liter Bra-sized Pepsi and gird your legal loins so to speak.

.

Legal Fact.

5:19 pm April, 12 Medusa Oblongata said...

Damnit, I missed the pic. I always do. Thankfully, I never miss the mock. You’re a stupid twit, Bianca.

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