Thursday, April 1, 2010

Ramon is Nottadouche


Now hear me out.

Normally we’d tag Ramon as an autobag for the hair gel alone, not to mention the Ed Hardy scrote-shorts.

But other factors are at play.

No tatts.

No douche-face.

No obnoxious hang gestures as he rubs up on the sweet, unBleethed innocent hott, Kristen.

I’m giving Ramon a nottadouche and a go in peace. He just isn’t that douchey.

# posted by admin
2:05 pm April, 1 Wheezer said...

Heh heh…..must be another "site malfunction" in the text…..

2:06 pm April, 1 Douchebag1 said...

April Fools!!

2:06 pm April, 1 Bag A said...

trying to think of something clever to say, but all i can think of is….nice rack!

2:09 pm April, 1 boatbutter said...

Nice DB1. Got me.

2:12 pm April, 1 baleen said...

Tough call, boss. The orange tan, Ed Hardy, jerz blowout, and Vegas poolside petri dish indicate otherwise. This scrote is definitely on the wrong path. I'm a little less lenient. I say stage 1.

Oh, and sideboob…mmm.

2:13 pm April, 1 baleen said...

Fuck! I fell hook, line, and sinker!

2:36 pm April, 1 Vin Douchal said...

We've seen this guy before, on the National Geographic channel.

This chick's body is bangin' but she looks like she got hit with the same skillet that bashed in this dork's face

2:36 pm April, 1 Fyodor Dostedouchesky said...

The "unBleethed" comment was the giveaway….

2:38 pm April, 1 Justin said...

You got me!

I was about to go off on dude's ridiculous double tank tops. WTF!

"UnBleethed innocent hott"…

Hilarious.

2:42 pm April, 1 BlackBikiniBrigade said...

Yeah, you got me!

While Kristen is most certainly hott, at least from the neck down- she is nott unBleethed nor innocent.

And let's face it, that lack of innocence is one of the things that we like about her.

2:42 pm April, 1 Wedgie said...

She is a Texas Longhorns fan, obviously.

And Ramon is an April fool.

2:53 pm April, 1 Douchble Helix said...

I was mentally composing my stern rebuke of DB1, when I came to 'slipper slope' and hair gel.

It was then I knew. Like in Cool Hand Luke: "I'm shakin', Boss, I'm shakin'. I got my mind right, too!"

ps Baleen, maybe you better stay on the porch…

2:55 pm April, 1 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

I forgot it was April Fools Day and just assumed Ramon had pics of DB1 in compromising positions.

2:59 pm April, 1 DarkSock said...

I'll bet her tooter looks like a racoon's infected eye socket.

I'll bet his ass looks like a Japanese flag.

3:03 pm April, 1 baleen said...

ps Douch-ble, mock not your fellow baghunters, even those who tender the porch meat. Cockk.

3:09 pm April, 1 Bagnonymous said...

Boss, you had me until "unbleethed innocent hott." That's about when I shat myself.

No really, no joke–I did, in fact, shit myself. All this low-grade office coffee brings on wicked incontinence, yo.

PS. If you chop off this bleeth's head (and something tells me she wouldn't miss it, really) she strongly resembles Carly Hott from the HOH. Or so I remember.. damn site update has all the HOH links dead. What if I need to fwap today?

3:18 pm April, 1 Douchble Helix said...

Baleen, I thought about the 'etiquette' of commenting directly about you before I posted.

You know what the rules are? There are no rules.

Get some!

3:23 pm April, 1 wankyboy said...

I just shit myself laughing at you shitting yourself…and thanks DB1 your post is my first April fool's of the day.

3:27 pm April, 1 baleen said...

Now I feel like this guy 🙁

3:30 pm April, 1 Douchble Helix said...

And as for the "sweet, unBleethed innocent hott, Kristen"…

I first looked at this photo on my phone, so I scrolled over to look at the douchebag.

I didn't realize how fuckin' funny that description was.

But she haunted me. Much as Dr. No haunted James Bond…

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Zj2KakUZYyE/St9h1V1wmmI/AAAAAAAACmE/fizeOktrNQ4/s400/DrNo.jpg

3:31 pm April, 1 creature said...

"innocent" was a dead give away… haven't I seen this broad on redtube servicing 4 mulemen?…. um, er, that is if I were to frequent such a site… I'm just sayin'

3:33 pm April, 1 clam fist said...

She has those eyes that reveal her soul is in fact missing. No one cares, because of that smokin hott bod and booobies.

3:35 pm April, 1 creature said...

even in a white linen muu muu that body would be xxxx

ofcourse there would also be a 10' python feeding into her body cavity from below the hem

3:38 pm April, 1 Vin Douchal said...

On a related note, in 2011 Hollywood will bless us with a movie version of "21 Jump Street", the vehicle that introduced patient zero of the virus.

Who is douchey enough to play Officer Dennis Booker?

Will extras have an open casting at the Hard Rock pool?

3:51 pm April, 1 El Caganer said...

I understand that its April fools day, but that hott could get me to dress a lot worse. Good job Raymond. This is what Vegas is about, beeatches.

4:08 pm April, 1 clam fist said...

She should be in vampire porn.

4:11 pm April, 1 memphis doucheworkers local 421 said...

even though it is april fools, ramon may deserve to get off with just a warning. he looks too foreign to know any better

4:28 pm April, 1 creature said...

Rebecca is sniffing a finger full of Ramen's poo… hence the distorted facial expression

4:31 pm April, 1 Anonymous said...

Don't stare directly into the Succubus' eyes!

4:33 pm April, 1 Whoop-di-douche said...

Las Vegas is a fools' gold paradise.

4:33 pm April, 1 Christos Douchios said...

Ultra waxed eye-brows? C'mon. Nottadouche? Was that forgiveness given in the spirit of Easter. I know Jesus supposedly died for our sins but don't you have to ask to be forgiven? Something tells me this guys isn't asking.

4:35 pm April, 1 MoeDouche said...

April Fool or not, she is SMOKING and he is tainting her with his hand. What a disheartening picture…

4:45 pm April, 1 Tony Ventresca said...

Clam Fist @9:08 wrote:
"She should be in vampire porn."

I totally agree. Vampire lesbian porn.

4:52 pm April, 1 Mr. White said...

Her eyes look like two pissholes in the snow.

Which is working for me, to be honest.

5:00 pm April, 1 damon said...

This dude is clearly hiding something. The shorts, double tank and wind tunnel tester hair geloop don't fool me. He's secretly denying young Svetlana here, the knowledge of his ass tattoo of Felix the cat blowing bong hits into the 'tunnel', whilst you hand out nottadouches like their forehead moles.

5:24 pm April, 1 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Creatch 8:35
BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HOLY FUCK

I even got the perfect mental image. Oh, how I wish there was some kind of device that could photograph these pictures in my mind and put them on paper. I'd either be world-famous for my work, or immediately incarcerated.

Good lord, who puts on that kind of makeup to go swimming?!?! Oh, that's right, no one goes swimming anymore. They wade in knee-deep raw sewage, drinking seven dollar dixie cups of watered-down well liquor and taking self-portraits at arms' length with their camera phones. My mistake

I suspect this dude was totally normal when he woke up this morning. Then he rubbed up against her and then *POOF* insta-douche. Love Kills Slowly, but Bleeth is quick and probably painful.

5:27 pm April, 1 El Queso said...

April fools; you got me!

'Cause I was thinking, "unBleethed??!?, She looks like the night-shift fluffer for the Mighty Ducks Gangbang on Ice."

5:53 pm April, 1 Menschenjaeger said...

Ahahahaha! I was storming in here to lay the "WTF?!" down! Got me.

6:06 pm April, 1 Bob said...

Good try, db1, but I wasn't falling for it. I will say, though, that it's refreshing to see no tatts. She's halfway to a duckface, though.

Plus, BOOBIES!

6:27 pm April, 1 DarkSock said...

I can actually see her urethra peeking out of those low-cuts; like the areola of her pants.

He has the blowout version of Devo hair.

6:43 pm April, 1 Anonymous said...

She does get an automatic free pass to the Hall of Hott, though, despite kissy-lips Bleething. I think they lend you paper bags at the Mandalay, but not sure….

-Grey Douche

7:39 pm April, 1 Douche Mengia said...

Sculpted eyebrows = autodouche

8:02 pm April, 1 Whoop-di-douche said...

She's one smokin' hot bod with a terducken face.

He's roadkill, USDA approved and stamped.

9:39 pm April, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

What's with all the UCCs lately? Have the URCs been replaced? Why? Is it the economy? Bring back the URCs!

Oh… and he looks like the Ricky Ricardo version of a Keebler Elf. She has Black Widow written all over her.

9:41 pm April, 1 Anonymous said...

ASR= Arm shave reveal. A new low…

11:55 pm April, 1 Mr. Biggs said...

Yeah, FU DB1, that's as April Fools as you can get. He's just as much nottadouche as the cancer cells in the middle of a cyst are not actually cancer cells… he's just so immersed in douchey cancer that he thinks it's all normal.

12:05 am April, 2 The Demonic Libyan said...

I would do 7 years in a Libyan prison for raping her, she's hot

5:30 am April, 2 Mr, Bagoo said...

I spent 5 minutes trying to justify this in my mind before I realized the date.

Nice butterface.

7:58 am April, 2 Baron Von Goolo said...

Bronson Pinchot's sex change turned out goooooooooood.

10:41 am April, 2 Steve L. said...

hey, at least DB1 didn't say that HCwDB 2.0 will be up and running today.

i don't know how i'd get past jumping off a roof if i was let down like that.

10:46 am April, 2 Steve L. said...

also, it actually wouldn't take me that many beers to mistake Kristen for an unbleethed innocent hott.

and that is enough non-food for thought for me today.

5:26 pm April, 2 g0dluvsugly said...

i was literally keystrokes away from denouncing the code of the db1 until i opened the comments thread.

9:03 pm April, 5 Meghan said...

SHOTS!!

9:03 pm April, 5 Meghan said...

SHOTS!!

4:49 pm April, 9 Katrina said...

When did a Chinaman meet Jersey Shore?

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