Monday, April 26, 2010

Reader Mail: One Day We Will Be as Popular With the Girls and as Sexi as Him

hahahaha responds in the comments thread of last week’s KFC post:

—-

you fools… im deff in this picture and i can bet i make more money then you ever willll : ) , have a much more expensive car, and have a high education then you have achieved in life lol … kind of sad…..

give me ur e mail ill send u my w2’s looolol fkn tool bags hahahha…. dont hate bec we look better : )

one day you guys will be as popular with the girls and as sexi as us…. ONE DAY… so keep hiding behind the computer orrrr blast out a pix of you to shut us down so we can stop this nonsense lol but i doubt you will ; ) bu byeee

—-

Once I blasted out a pix to shut us down, but Amoxocillin cleared it right up.

# posted by douchebag1
12:31 pm April, 26 E-blo's Last Thought said...

A W-2 of $36,431.

I

Am

Impressed.

12:34 pm April, 26 DarkSock said...

Well, “hahahaha”, I see; we stand corrected.

If you could simply just send us all your W2 form as well as any old credit card statements and photocopies of your social security card I think we can clear this misunderstanding up in a jif!

12:43 pm April, 26 Friend of hahahaha said...

YO MAN, I BE A HOMIE OF hahahaha.

He’s kicking it large at Florida State holmes, and his edumacation is gonna get him a kickin ride and a kickin career as a rapper.

12:44 pm April, 26 Denny DelVecchio said...

He had me until I saw he was a Montreal Expos fan.

Sorry, I’m out like Vladdy Guerrero.

1:01 pm April, 26 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

If he’s the one in the middle, ha…ha should spend some of his riches on a fucken pair of pants that fits his fat ass.

1:06 pm April, 26 Chad Kroeger said...

I just hope he doesn’t reside near Montreal or I will have to kill another on our behoof when I move back there.

1:06 pm April, 26 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Jeez, I thought the Pillsbury Dough Boy wasn’t real and I thought Mr. Ed died years ago. Why the long face horse? (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)

1:07 pm April, 26 Ohio FJ said...

I bet he does have a “high” education

1:12 pm April, 26 Hotspur said...

The spelling and grammer alone proves he is our intellectual superior.

The Montreal Expos folded in 2004

1:13 pm April, 26 Bagnonymous said...

If you brighten and enlarge the picture, I think you can see somebody in the background playing shuffleboard with Buffalo Beast. This must be the elusive hahahaha.

1:15 pm April, 26 Crucial Head said...

Ummmm, Hahaha lives in Arizona. So it seems him and his buddies either originated in NJ and moved west, or, the Jerz accent is being affected by every taint west of the Mississippi.

Children get their skin burned off every day so this pukestain can frolic.

I want to hear William Shatner intone:

DANCE!

.

…. to the BOOGIE…

.

get…down….

.

.

.

Because—- the Boogie Nights…

.

are.

.ALWAYS

the BEST…

.

.

.

.

In town!

1:18 pm April, 26 Filta said...

What kind of babbling nonsense is this? I see some words in there, but putting them together seems to be an issue here. What kind of a “high” education did he have, getting past the 6th grade or something?

1:21 pm April, 26 Chad Kroeger said...

@Crucial Head

There is petition on facebook to make Shatner the next Governor General of Canada. I want to beam him up to the wholly ceremonial position. Please help. The children need him.

1:21 pm April, 26 John McenDouche said...

Alright. It’s official. I am dumber for having read that.

1:22 pm April, 26 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@Friend of hahahaha

I think you forgot the “w” in rapper. As in “Tony is the wrapper of the new Angus Burgers at Mickey Dees. If doesn’t fuck up, he’ll promoted to janitor next month.”

And yes, his W-2 is probably bigger than mine. NO ONE gets paid well to try and educate your sorry asses.

1:41 pm April, 26 Albert Eindouche said...

I am speechless. I am crying. If I had a gun I may have well started shooting wildly in every direction. This guy really exists. He really does. Wow…that thought makes me die just a little bit inside.

1:43 pm April, 26 Deltus said...

Do they not think we can read? It’s not just spelling (using “2” instead of “to” or “too”, etc.), but the grammar is just atrocious. Does this guy really think we believe him for a second that he has an actual “high education then you have achieved in life”?

I’m with John McenDouche. I’m dumber for having read that crap.

1:50 pm April, 26 Baron Von Goolo said...

“dont hate bec we look better : )”

No worries there. I hate you because you think it’s valid lay down your “much more expensive car” as collateral for your value as a human being. I hate you because you and your ilk subscribe to a cult of fistpumping narcissism that makes the Me Decade look like Habitat for Humanity. I hate you because you have the audacity to flaunt your “high education” with your crackwhore prose. I hate you because you think a W2 will impress people that give W2s to their workers. I hate you because you think there’s currency in the masturbatory lemming-run of your lifestyle. And by your lifestyle I mean your “lifestyle.”

But mostly, I hate you because the world is being consumed faster than we can replenish it and all you do is tan. Now stfu and don’t bag the cantaloupe on top of my eggs.

1:56 pm April, 26 DarkSock said...

“you think a W2 will impress people that give W2s to their workers”

heh heh That jab warms my cockles. Whatever those are.

2:06 pm April, 26 Douche Scroets Scrociety said...

Blasting pix? More like turning trix

This clown don’t like hot chix, he love fat dix

He making money, I know that for sure

Bitch be working the gay district like a two dollah whore

2:11 pm April, 26 Fat, Drunk, and Douchey said...

The Baron has stated the case more eloquently than I ever could. The only thing left to add is; fuck you, hahahaha.

2:27 pm April, 26 End the Haberdouchery said...

Don’t you mean “have a high education THAN you have achieved in life lol?” Because other than that it was grammatically immaculate.

2:47 pm April, 26 Anonymous said...

So you are taking him up on his offer to send you his W2, right DB1? I mean an asshole like this is clearly not smart enough to black out his SS# on the form and therefore the opportunity exists to teach him a valuable lesson about life.

2:53 pm April, 26 lupus john wilcox said...

if you say things like, “im deff in this picture and i can bet i make more money then you ever willll”, odds are you are a douchebag

3:09 pm April, 26 Expi-ala-douche-is said...

“and have a high education then you have achieved in life lol ”

WTF is that? Hint for KFC, if you’re trying to convince people of an education that you don’t actually have, make sure somebody else checks your grammar.

The correct word is “Higher”, not “high”

The correct word is “Than”, not “then”

But I’m sure he knows something brilliant about the English language that I’m unaware of, what with his education being much higher “then” mine.

Genius.

3:11 pm April, 26 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Dude, with that atrocious spelling, you’re probably delivering pizza or perhaps Chinese takeout. Food Taxi, right? perhaps you mow lawns, or are a tennis pro so you can work on your tan.

3:16 pm April, 26 doucheywallnuts said...

Once thing I know is that the fat guy douche in the middle didn’t pen that missive.

3:40 pm April, 26 Deltus said...

@Baron: “…you and your ilk subscribe to a cult of fistpumping narcissism that makes the Me Decade look like Habitat for Humanity”. I just about broke a testicle laughing at that line. Kudos, sir!

3:50 pm April, 26 Bagwood Dumbstead said...

High education doesn’t known than from then.

3:55 pm April, 26 dbBen said...

@BVG

You win. Brilliant.

4:22 pm April, 26 Soy Bomb said...

I love love love when the d’bags chime in. It justifies everything we do on this site.

.

.

.

@BVG…simply amazing. I haven’t witnessed such a thorough evisceration sinceCouric v. Palin.*

.

.

.

*Warning: Do not click on “evisceration” hyperlink.

4:33 pm April, 26 G said...

Quite the Man ‘o Letters…you douche…

4:57 pm April, 26 Chad Kroeger or Dark Sock's Sister said...

@Baron

Very nice. And by very nice I mean very nice.

5:00 pm April, 26 Medusa Oblongata said...

Agh, I just bit a pencil in half reading that whole thing. And the splinters of wood and graphite on my tongue don’t quite grate on me like reading those words.

So, ok, here’s the Medusa stats:

4 years of college, Phi Theta Kappa, and if you have a Masters or higher, let’s see your transcripts. I don’t get a W2 for my job and once a year, I have to sit down with a lawyer and sign stock certificates. So as far as your transcripts and your W2s…… kate@nastyrubber.com. Send away, Sparky.

.

I have 2 cars. And of one of them is one of only 10,000 made in the US, and that was in 1958. So the car I never drive unless I feel frisky, is a car you’ve never even heard of. Unless you’re driving a Maserati, Ferrari or Bentley, you can suck my Straight 8.

.

Unless you have grown a long pair of legs and a firm pair of C-cup tits, I highly doubt you look better than me. And I’m not even all that. But I promise I’ve still had more chicks than you have.

.

And using extra letters does not make your point more emphatic, it makes you sound even stupider.

.

BVG wins by a landslide. You, hahahaha, are loser by a shitslide. Keep on pounding them Jagerbombs. The loss of brain cells will only make your simian blathering all the more amusing to me.

5:21 pm April, 26 Medusa Oblongata said...

PS: Dude on the right…the tattoo on your arm is backwards. They always face forward, not back. Ha ha. You and your tattoo artist are nitwits

5:59 pm April, 26 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

Whichever one he is, he is a #5 washtub full of well-aged smegma.

6:50 pm April, 26 Whoop-di-douche said...

Spellcheck must be reeling in hahahaha’s computer.

The photo reminds me of that ditty,

“Ha ha ha, you and me (Yah ha ha)

Little Brown Jug how I love thee.”

7:47 pm April, 26 Turdacious said...

Is the toad stool next to Chief Douchewanger wearing capri pants?

8:41 pm April, 26 creature said...

once again, bravo BVG, I defer to your eloquence in regards to any “high” education remarks that I may make… well done

ha,ha, ha, you sir are boo boo!

9:38 pm April, 26 Jeff said...

@Baron

Very nice. And by very nice I mean very nice.

1:11 am April, 27 Steve L. said...

if you ever see RAPETIME brutalizing someone with a 4 foot piece of rebar, just know that he stole that thing from me.

1:12 am April, 27 Steve L. said...

damn. even i have trouble out-hating BVG.

1:14 am April, 27 Steve L. said...

but i still have the rebar of hateful smiting.

that is, until RAPETIME stole it.

1:22 am April, 27 Steve L. said...

there’s nothing wrong with RAPETIME smiting douchebags with the rebar of hateful smiting, though. nothing wrong at all. it’s just that i should be in on the action too.

2:49 am April, 27 Euripidouche said...

i see the douchebag cave painting, but i am going to focus on the hot in the craggy old sportswriter style hat

i would grantland her rice

shirley her povich

ring her lardner

pierce her egan

red her smith

all so i could get a few column inches within the glance of anyone poring over her box scores.

10:26 am April, 27 Friedouche Nietszche said...

“and have a high education then you have ”

I beg to differ

10:56 am April, 27 Douche Dastardly said...

I know I’m late to the party on this one but BVG and Medussa your comments deserve acknowledgment. Both eloquent and snarky . A great combo like PB&J!

2:05 pm April, 27 Darth Doucheous said...

Steve L, with that avatar image I can picture you going to some douchebags and saying “take the bling”… next thing happening would not be pretty. I hear ‘bags cause indigestion…

3:37 pm April, 27 Albert Eindouche said...

@Medusa Oblongata

LOL…You mean to say this guy didn’t just sweep you off of your feet with his eloquence, wit and stated financial status? For shame…LOL…

5:58 pm April, 27 Jonathan said...

but i still have the rebar of hateful smiting.
that is, until RAPETIME stole it.

8:27 pm April, 27 Simon said...

damn. even i have trouble out-hating BVG.

2:10 am April, 28 Tony said...

“and have a high education then you have ”

I beg to differ

4:24 pm April, 28 Elwood Blues said...

Nice capri pants Asshat. Where’d you find them – Junior Miss?

4:39 am April, 29 sgm said...

I feel ths somehow sums up this complete tosser. If he tried to pull that shit in England he’d be laughed out of the sports bar!

Material Boy – Millencolin

I’m leaving the Wat. To Buddhism no longer loyal.

I’m breaking my heart, as my compassion to the third world

turned to greed.

Bye bye, real McCoy, no ideals as if I was royal.

Now, I’m a material boy.

There’s nothing in this world I don’t think I need.

Now I’m shopping, I’m not stopping.

There’ll always be new stuff to buy

and I’ll expand my needs somehow.

I swear

I bought an iMac and mouse, a phone to go with my new spirit.

Next step might be a house, six bedrooms and a pool just for me.

I will live like a Tsar, the beggars chant won’t hear it.

I’ll have a boat, new TV and car.

And in my mouth a fat Cuban cigar.

Now I’m shopping, I’m not stopping.

There’ll always be new stuff to buy

and I’ll expand my needs somehow.

I’ll expand my needs somehow I swear.

fucking prick.

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