Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Reader Mail: This sh*t Website Goes Over Well With Bickering 14 Year Olds

youreaslameastheyare offers the HCwDB community some constructive feedback in Sunday’s Frolic video thread:

—-

dudes on this site are surely douchebags, but the chicks aren’t hot; so I don’t really get the name. Anyway, all you dorks who make fun of these guys are just as lame as they are. Why would you want to look at other losers all day, does it make you feel better about yourselves? I could maybe see this sh*t website going over well with bickering 14 year olds, but unfortunately it seems to be mostly young adults commenting & posting. Go do something positive, instead of frustrating yourselves looking at people you obviously don’t like day in & day out.

—-

Interestingly, try as you might to resist the HCwDB formulation, YALATA, embedded in your critique is a qualitative judgment on the Hott side of the equation. Sounds like a small step in the ‘bag hunting direction.

Give in. Join the deconstruction of the hottie/douchey dialectics.

And your journey to the ‘bag hunting side will be complete

# posted by douchebag1
9:28 am April, 20 Fatness said...

Hmmm…all empty. The bottles, the heads, the lives.

9:37 am April, 20 Baleen said...

Wow. Just wow.

9:38 am April, 20 Underwearz said...

I question the sexuality of men claiming to have higher standards and therefore finding 99% of females on college campuses to be ugly.

Not that there’s anything wrong with not liking girls or anything..

9:40 am April, 20 Crucial Head said...

Why would you want to look at other losers all day, does it make you feel better about yourselves?

.

.

Yes.

9:41 am April, 20 Crucial Head said...

Re: This Picture

.

.

This is what happens when you hire Whitey Ford’s Contracting outfit to finish off your basement. Two weeks later you’re frantically applying to be on Holmes on Homes.

9:45 am April, 20 End the Haberdouchery said...

This party is set inside the skull Donkey Douche. A lot of empty unfinished space.

9:45 am April, 20 Baleen said...

A rare glimpse of FLYTEETH’s basement “romper room”. It’s fully stocked with Ambien, booze, and rubber bedsheets. That daycare has really taken off.

10:02 am April, 20 Bag A said...

aaaahhhhhh…..Miller High LIfe, the champagne of beers!

10:07 am April, 20 Douches Wild said...

thanks for a heartfelt and basically constructive critique of the site and its contributors. I suggest you look up the definitions of “irony” and “satire” and compare the definitions to what you THINK they mean. Your world view will changed for the better.

10:10 am April, 20 Bagnonymous said...

Legally, I can’t really qualitatively discuss any of these young women’s hotness for at least another a couple of years. But middle Skankateer is already quite adept at the on-camera hand/mouth skills, which will surely make her daddy shoot himself in the head one day.

10:12 am April, 20 Bagnonymous said...

BTW, if 15 will get you 20, what does 5 x 15 get you? 75?

10:14 am April, 20 Vin Douchal said...

Nope. There is nothing about this picture or that post worthy of comment from me as I have the emotional development of a 14 year old.

Boobies

Caca

Doodie

Peepee

Naynay

Douchebag

10:14 am April, 20 Ponderonymous said...

Young adults? I thought we were all middle-aged soldiers of fortune.

-Ponderonymous

10:16 am April, 20 Bagnonymous said...

@ Ponderonymous:

Speak for yourself, bro. I’m more of a “middle-aged soldier of mediocre income.”

10:17 am April, 20 Flounder said...

Hey youreaslameastheyare, thank you for considering me young. As for the not thinking the chicks on here are hot all I have to say is the greatest pick of wisdom imparted to me by my late grandfather:

“If everyone liked the same thing then everyone would be trying to jump on Grandma”

10:27 am April, 20 Flounder said...

This intrepid group of Strait Edge Hotts show off their playful side after helping Homeless Harry (pictured in background) clean out his subbasement warren.

>>>>>>>

Taken from the seventh period theater groups rehearsals for DoucheBag: The Musical !!

10:35 am April, 20 bigphatnotadouche said...

Hey:

That looks like my basement minus the chains. There are no Hotts in that picture.

10:43 am April, 20 Ed Hardouche said...

YALATA, join us brother. Let go of the past. Embrace what you know to be the true path….plus the pear links are quite lovely.

10:44 am April, 20 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Well, in my own defense, I don’t look at this site day in and day out.

.

Only Monday-Friday, 8am-4pm.

.

As for yalata: I too sense a neglected ‘bag hunter within.

10:48 am April, 20 Chad Kroeger said...

As a man of significant means with wife, kids, dogs, house, peace of mind etc. of advanced middle age I take umbrage with the hatters who think we are all kids. We take offense with what could happen to our kids. I don’t want to have to kill a dude in seven years nor have my girls associating with the douchebags.

I will mock as has been made my right by this site which gives me some great amusement as I work to support several people. Contributing to my community and church are much easier with mock and excessive amounts of unmentionables which prevent me from driving after noon. Mock On.

Fuck off Kapala. And leave the kids alone perv.

10:51 am April, 20 Deltus said...

YALATA, of course we feel better about ourselves after examining and mocking the douche, and examining and lusting after the hott.

Just ask yourself:

Q – Why do people poke animals in cages with sticks?

A – Because that’s what animals in cages are for!

I agree with the above. I think you need just a slight nudge to let out your inner ‘bag hunter(ess). Let go of whatever’s holding you back.

10:58 am April, 20 Lovekraft said...

The REASON there are sites like this is because douches and douchettes JUST DON’T GET IT, and their denial requires some harsh talk.

10:59 am April, 20 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@YALATA. I for one, find mocking douchebags to be a highly constructive pursuit. I tell myself each and every day that maybe, just maybe, this will be the day that a douchebag see’s his picture on HCwDB, reads my comments, smacks palm to forehead, and declares “My God, what am I doing with my life!?!?” If society is lucky, said douchebag grabs pistol, inserts in mouth, and pulls trigger. Conversely, he could also send all his Ed Hardy to the Salvation Army, get a real job, and become a contributor to society as opposed to a parasite. I’m not picky, but admittedly the douche is less prone to recitivism when applying bullets.

.

And as for the Hotties, you clearly haven’t skimmed through the Hall of Hott. I find their beauty to be quite constructive. And by constructive I mean they bring a fundamental change to my nether region, create progressive growth, and provide much needed scrocietal justice. That and they’ve kept Kleenex and Jergens in the black through this entire recession.

11:06 am April, 20 El Caganer said...

How dare he call the reg hatterz “young adults”. They haven’t been called that in at least 20 years. Living in their parent’s basement computer nerds is way more accurate.

11:15 am April, 20 Chad Kroeger said...

Fuck off Goldman Sachs! I’m going to have to work for 20 more years.But I am a mortgage broker as well as a rock star, residential appraiser, and gigolo so I guess I deserve it.

And thanks for Nascar Girls Vin Douchal. Mrs Kroeger will be a happy 43 year old hott tonight.

I’ll have to get some KY for girls to stick my monster head in her ass.

11:31 am April, 20 Euripidouche said...

young broads, cheap booze god i miss being 30.

11:57 am April, 20 clam fist said...

Wow. He must know me. Wow.

12:18 pm April, 20 Barack O'Bagga and The Audacity of Scrote said...

@Crucial Head: If it’s any consolation, I always thought you had the mentality of a 14-year-old.

[ducks banhammer]

12:25 pm April, 20 DarkSock said...

I like the way Cindy’s rebelling in the photo, but still wearing that bandana over her face just in case Mom ever sees this picture.

12:43 pm April, 20 red said...

really. wow.

12:54 pm April, 20 Whoop-di-douche said...

Better expand their vocabulary with the meaning of “dialectics” DB1.

Wait. I’m not sure they know what “deconstruction”” means either.

Or satire.

1:20 pm April, 20 jonezy said...

YALATA has apparently never worked in a cubicle before…

2:33 pm April, 20 Claude Douchenburg said...

Ditto that Jonezy

2:33 pm April, 20 Claude Douchenburg said...

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

2:45 pm April, 20 Douchrilo Princip said...

Never quite get some of the responses to this site. The assumption is that all fans of of HCwDB are overweight and living in one’s mother’s basement. The implication is one of jealousy, as if everyone who read and joined in the mock was somehow a “h8er” (Thank you, Stackhouse).

I always wanna ask these cats if they really think of this as a matter of Douche Envy. I mean, really? It can’t just be that your apish attempts at spectacle are just funny and superficial? It can’t just be that–perish the thought–you’re an ass? *Shrug* Not all who hate are haters. Just saying.

Douche on, kids. Douche on.

3:01 pm April, 20 Steve L. said...

hey guywhonevertookalookathimselfinamirror,

why would you want to bother a website full of supposedly loserly losers all day? does it make you feel better about yourself?

go stick your head up your ass and pretend we don’t exist, instead of frustrating yourself trolling people you obviously don’t like day in & day out.

because that would be “something positive”.

3:02 pm April, 20 creature said...

all these young gals will have children before the age of 21… quite possibly 2 or 3 from multiple partners…. save the species & spay them now

3:06 pm April, 20 Steve L. said...

also, does the league of bag hunters really need to recruit someone who is constantly out to remind people that he only goes for women who are 9/10 or 10/10 and that Angelina Jolie is only 8.5/10?

FUCK ME SIDEWAYS before i become a broken record in more ways than one.

3:11 pm April, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Since when could you get a basement in a double-wide trailer? What will they think of next?

3:14 pm April, 20 Steve L. said...

but since DB1 gave you a lifeline of sorts, i’ll ask you one thing, YOLATA:

what is your idea of “something positive”?

you don’t have to tell me what you think (partly because i’m not sure if i want to hear it). just think about it on your own time.

3:28 pm April, 20 Steve L. said...

@ myself 3:14 PM,

ugh. i think that would be YALATA. it sounds goofy, either way.

7:02 pm April, 20 Anonymous said...

But it is positive….positively hilarious! If you can’t laugh along then beat it punk!

6:00 am April, 21 you'reaslameastheyare said...

This is great! I’ve been randomly hating on websites and the people in the comments threads for quite a while now, but this is by far the best response to my negativity – my own post! I actually like most of the sites I rip on, and I’m always dismayed at how bad people take my remarks, but you geeks are alright. Thanks again for making my cyber dreams come true DB1. And remember, the spice must flow.

6:02 am April, 21 you'reaslameastheyare said...

and Steve L, quit flirting

9:11 am April, 21 Steve L. said...

@ guywhonevertookalookathimselfinamirror,

well, i guess i can’t make you look at yourself in a mirror if you really don’t want to, for some reason.

and i’m not talking about looking at yourself in a mirror the same way that Stackhouse does.

9:43 am April, 21 you'reaslameastheyare said...

quit hatting on me Steve L(oser)

9:47 am April, 21 you'reaslameastheyare said...

and I do look in the mirror, everyday. I look at ma sweet tribal tats bro, I check out ma fresh frosted tips, & of course I do a little flexin in ma form fitting wife beater.

9:17 pm April, 22 Anonymous said...

SUWU!

5:27 am April, 23 you'reaslameastheyare said...

fuck SUWU

6:01 am April, 27 Douchrilo Princip said...

I invite the gentleman from YALATA (which, by the way, sounds like some sort of tropical-fruit smoothie chain) to peruse my above screed and respond, or be simply thought an ape with nothing meaningful to say. Meet me on the field of dialectics.

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