Friday, April 23, 2010

Sparky Looks Hard

One of the surest signs of a douchebag is the gangsta glare.

Here we find Sparky, surrounded on all sides by partying Kappa Kappa Woo girls, and he’s pulling his best Clubber Lang.

Give it up Sparkster. “Frosted Tips” do not a gangsta make.

As to Brenda on the left, please don’t mind if I fondle your rhesus monkey. And by fondle your rhesus monkey, I mean fondle your rhesus monkey. No, it’s not a metaphor. C’mere, Mr. Bubbles.

# posted by douchebag1
9:35 am April, 23 Chad Kroeger said...

He is so gay Rip Taylor is his master. Confetti.

9:36 am April, 23 Chad Kroeger said...

He is so frosted that Tony the Tiger lost his job for General Mils..

9:37 am April, 23 Chad Kroeger said...

He is so gay the Dark Sock wouldn’t pee in his butt on a sweet Friday.

9:39 am April, 23 Chad Kroeger said...

He is so gay he doesn’t care that the girl on his right has a scorhed Cocck and other skin parts.

9:40 am April, 23 Chad Kroeger said...

He is so gay that he doesn’t realize Elin woods is partying in Bar Harbour again.

9:41 am April, 23 Bagnonymous said...

Is Brenda the one on the way left, with the nostrils and the eyebrows.. or is she the blonde with the wandering eyes? Meh, doesn’t matter–I guess I’d fondle either’s rhesus monkey.

.

BTW, I just finished savoring the taste of a ripe, juicy pear in my mouth. It was delicious. I long for more delicious pear today…

9:42 am April, 23 Chad Kroeger said...

His do is so bad that I may travel south after my lawn is cut to cut off the flakes.

9:43 am April, 23 UFO Destroyers said...

Don’t you just hate it when your boyfriend’s anal juices strip all the hair off your arm up to your wrist.

Not that I’m saying that Sparky here knows anything about that.

9:46 am April, 23 jonezy said...

Who has the clap now???

.

.

This guy!!!

9:46 am April, 23 Chad Kroeger said...

He is so stupid he thinks Clubber Lang is Jessica Lange’s secret mulatto love child.

9:54 am April, 23 Baleen said...

I’m guessing the chick on the right while nottahot can suck a mean cockk.

.

He’s is punchworthy.

.

The chick in the back on the far right is picking her nose.

10:00 am April, 23 bigphatnotadouche said...

Douche is thinking to himself: I got my arm around the wrong Hott and this picture is going to make Facebook.

Wait, I’m sorry: there is no discernible intelligence from anyone in this picture given the vacant party stares.

Carry on Douche and good luck with the Kappa Woo’s

10:10 am April, 23 massengill said...

Where’s the hott?

10:10 am April, 23 melvil duchi said...

I pity the fool who does not smile while being surrounded by Kappa Kappa Woos

10:12 am April, 23 Wheezer said...

Sparky’s pissed because he knows the camera flash will reveal too much of the secret he’s not really hiding. That’s why he’s tilting his head back juuuuust enough to (maybe) hide the truth.

We’re not buying, Sparky, no matter how long you let ‘em grow. We know they’ll abandon you as these ladies will.

10:16 am April, 23 red said...

this picture is making me feel like i have jock itch, but the thing that is really starting to burn is my wallet. there has to be about $1000 spent in this picture on hair and hair care products, and a combined total of a full 8-hour work day to make it look the way it does. i become a real douchebag when it comes to money (and pictures that make me feel like i have the crabs), so i wish i were there to rub my hands through all of their plasti-coated heads just so i could ruin what they have invested so much time and money in–their hair.

10:17 am April, 23 Chad Kroeger said...

He is so gay he watches Lost.

10:22 am April, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Sparky’s overactive and stretched-by-cockk sphincter quivers as the Ex-Lax kicked in at precisely the same time as the photog said, “Cheese”

10:23 am April, 23 Claude Douchenburg said...

It looks like Jenna finally ditched Dave and Mitch but I don’t think one hardass douche is better than two cream puff douche’s. Maybe it’s a hazeing ritual at the Kappa Kappa Woo. The one pointing at Sparky looks like a Kappa Kappa Who-bag and by that I mean the Stackhouse definition.

11:00 am April, 23 Deltus said...

He is so gay Richard Simmons called him up and said, “Jesus, bitch, man the fuck UP!”

11:01 am April, 23 Deltus said...

He is so gay he was actually turned down for the job as councellor at Catholic Bible Camp.

11:02 am April, 23 Deltus said...

He is so gay Chris Crocker walked up to him, wiped the cum from his own upper lip, and said, “You are SO gay.”

11:03 am April, 23 Deltus said...

He is so frosted he got kicked out of the bakery because the cupcakes were getting jealous.

11:07 am April, 23 Claude Douchenburg said...

He is so gay he doesn’t even know where a ladies nipple is located as you can see he is pinching way to high.

11:09 am April, 23 Claude Douchenburg said...

His is so gay he’s got jizz in his hair 24/7/365

11:12 am April, 23 Claude Douchenburg said...

He is so gay he is trying to guess if the guy taking the picture is circumcised or not.

11:13 am April, 23 Bagnonymous said...

Chick on the right says, “Watch when I stick my finger down his throat–No gag reflex!”

11:17 am April, 23 Claude Douchenburg said...

Sparky has second thoughts about his date after reaching back under her dress and discovering that she is not in fact a shemale.

11:19 am April, 23 mr.reeve said...

Chicks aren’t that hot and dude looks like a bronzed Seacrust Out-bag. “He’s a HOOOOMMMMOOOOO!”

http://theproblemwithmentoday.com

11:22 am April, 23 Claude Douchenburg said...

The place is so loud when camera guy yelled, “where’s my beer?” Girl on the right thought he said, “where’s my queer?” so she pointed at Sparky.

11:23 am April, 23 Claude Douchenburg said...

His hair is so frosted that Jack walked off the job.

11:25 am April, 23 Claude Douchenburg said...

Actually it is not frosting on his hair the douche is trying to have a thought and is mind is overheating and begining to smoke.

11:28 am April, 23 Claude Douchenburg said...

Oh okay I guess we better let Sparkey up for some air.

11:47 am April, 23 DarkSock said...

In his own mind Sparky’s harder than Chinese arithmetic.

11:47 am April, 23 DarkSock said...

In his own mind Sparky’s harder than Pamela Anderson’s tits

11:48 am April, 23 DarkSock said...

In his own mind Sparky’s harder than a 17 year old busboy at Badda-Bing

12:44 pm April, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Sparky’s face is sayin’, “Did I just shart or is that the last of the hot tub I just got from the dude on my right?”

4:01 pm April, 23 Fredouche Corleone said...

Clubber, what’s your prediction for tonight’s fight?

Prediction?… PAIN!!!

5:21 am April, 24 doucheywallnuts said...

This picture was taken at a loser celebrity look alike party with entries in the Debbie Harry, Hal Sparks-douchebag and JWWow categories.

http://images.starpulse.com/pictures/2007/10/18/previews/Hal%20Sparks-LRS-010768.jpg

2:03 pm April, 25 Steve L. said...

Sparky looks hard to compensate for not being able to stay hard.

2:05 pm April, 25 Steve L. said...

but even then, staying hard is not as important as being able to punch hard.

11:25 pm April, 25 Dennis said...

In his own mind Sparky’s harder than Pamela Anderson’s tits

4:38 pm April, 26 Keith O'Quinn said...

Holy crap I know this guy! His name is Daniel Jacob Smith look him up on Facebook, he’s wearing a hat and looking to the right. He’s about 5’5″ and 130 pounds soaking wet.

5:51 pm April, 26 Sean said...

Sparky’s face is sayin’, “Did I just shart or is that the last of the hot tub I just got from the dude on my right?”

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