Stackhouse The Poet Asks All Elder Child Cocks to Listen Up
Stackhouse the Poet responds in the comments threads to his lauding on HCwDB:
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Oh god not this sh*t again. Listen up elder child cocks, of a fat, broke, bootleg society that browses the internet like a f*cking soft core porn. I was on FB the year it came out, I was crushing the web at 14, when yall had no clue what cyber space was. Obviously no one here has any clue of modern terminology.
Who-bag means a bitch u banged out who’s name is not worth remembering. For example, yo bro, who did u pound out last night? I don’t know her name, I never cared to ask, hence: who-bag. Who the f*ck watches dr. Sues or whatever it is yall or talking about. My family made me play sports, read books for school, and occupy my time in a constructive manner. Sorry u homos don’t know that who-bags are just skanks good looking dudes trash.
But don’t worry fat old f*cks, I’m not heart broken or depressed. I’m just doing what I do. I vent negatively about her cause I’m a selfish capitalist who doesn’t think any girl should do me wrong, even when I’m out f*cking all her friends, and lieing to her face about everything I say. I’m just bitter that some girls actually think they can oppose me when I’m meticulous ass sh*t with crushing other puss, and lieing with a str8 face. Where do they get off. Its not like I got caught, its not like I didn’t flip every tab. I just think these skanks need to be reformed like the health care bill that was just implemented.
We need slut reform in America. Woman be woman, and skanks be skanks. U can’t blow coke off my dick and act like ur a classy woman. Sorry. I don’t hate on real woman, in fact I avoid them, I know I’m not built for them, they are for the most part good people who deserve good things from relationships. I go for whores, so if ur promoting ur a whore, don’t change the game up mid way. Be u, accept it and move forward in ur life. I’m a dirt bag to most and that’s fine, I’ve accepted that along time ago. But fake bitches need reform, education, and counseling. Get Some
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And a few moments later:
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Oh and to what ever pussy says they know me on a weight to height to bmi ratio, ur an ass clown. I’m 6ft1 230lbs. I sit at 9% bf 6 months out the year, and 7% the other months. So I’m sorry but look up nfl running backs, anyone, sh*t mike tyson even….I’d tower him. Ur honestly a f*cking idiot when u comment on me saying I’m not big and shredded. If u actually knew that and it was true, ud have to be a bitter ex and they would def. Leave their name all over that comment. Ask ur webmaster to post my pics on here. Ill show u what a small guy like me has to offer with striated pecs, and veins where most humans don’t. Sorry fag f*ck, call me out and ill answer. If u think I’m not legit, than all day ill prove u wrong.
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Actually, I believe the Whig Party is running on the Slut Reform platform this year. Using the slogan “Whigga Please.”
love the stackhouse
the whigga movement was a front for the know-nothing party. they are like ninjas if ninjas looked like hockey moms.
Looks like Colonel Kurtz has gone native.
Wasn’t Elder Child Cock one of the Great Old One’s that spoke in a voice that is not a voice; simply a chaotic sensation which only the most horrific fancies can transmute into sound?
Stackhouse rules!
Slut reform is needed , indeed. I won’t rest until they all know the proper “hot tub” method. I can’t believe that I agree with everything Stacky said about the sluts.
Perhaps I am confusing Elder Child Cockk for the band that opened for Jamaican Scratch Hole Posse at Coachella back in 1926.
Look, he’s even wearing a proto-Ed Hardy design:
http://www.dejavu-production.com/uploads/images/marlon%20pirart%20brando.jpg
When I look at his jump-off who-bag, I want to cackle in his ear, “Let… Me… Showyasomething.”
Jesus Christ… will somebody put the Douchebag of the Year crown on this guy’s vacant head, already?
Gots to give Stack his props. He likes what he likes. No excuses. He’s a str8 up player. Get some. Y’all just elder cock having hatters.
“Who the f*ck watches dr. Sues or whatever it is yall or talking about. My family made me play sports, read books for school, and occupy my time in a constructive manner.”
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So all his ex’s live in…..Whoville? What an assclinch.
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All I hope for is that with this manifesto he has finally convinced himself he means something to someone.
If this hasn’t been submitted for the Nobel Prize in Literature, it should be.
Get Some!
Stackman was there when Al Gore invented the Internet. He f*cking crushed it. The Internet decided it needed to get swole to survive. That’s why it is called the world wide web. This history moment was brought to you by the Swellery.
By the way, who hit that chick with an ugly stick? Nice chin…..
F*cking soft core porn is the name of my search engine. Google is for elder child cocks.
His hott aint too bad. I imagine that pointy chin would tickle my naughty place when she snorts the coke off of my elder child cock.
Stacky could learn a great deal from Buffalo Beast.
Indeed, Stackhouse has veins where most humans don’t–in his giant whale vagina.
I still have my old Dell with Windows 98 O/S . It’s in the garage under the Walkman AM/FM cassette and 900 cassette tapes I just can’t seem to let go at our yard sales, either.
I’m with Stackhouse here……
Stackie’s doing the same thing we all did. We banged loose women and then when it was time to settle down we found marriage material.
The only complaint I have with Stackhouse is he has a big fucking mouth and his writing is atrocious. His self-love knows no bounds and the only thing that will ever change him is if he finds a gal way out of his league , falls for her and she dumps him at a time he least expects it.
That would be beautiful and humiliating.
Stackhouse’s family tree.
He stepped in what?
Maybe Stacky should consider teaming up with the Lemon Party I think he is just the kind of person they need.
“Where do they get off.”
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Well, clearly not laying under you, Stacky, that’s where…
This picture illustrates why people have to be forcibly removed from cults. Young Ally here is too young to know what sordid future she has set for herself by coupling with Stacky. People care about you, Ally. Even your dad that you hate for some reason.
Stackhouse just crushed Walt Whitman… “Do I contradict myself? Very well, I contradict myself (I am large, I contain multitudes… of veins where humans don’t).
Stackhouse claims he’s meticulous ass sh*t . Does this mean that he meticulously picks the little balls of toilet-paper fuzz off his ass-hairs when he’s done wiping? ‘Cuz I don’t–I just let it be. That’s probably the difference that makes me an elder child cock of a fat, broke, bootleg society.
Wierd, uncomfortable photo of the day
Check this out :
Chaz Bono and date ?
Funny that in all the books his family made him read, he never came across the word “lying.”
Every sentence is pure gold.
was going to go further, but really, playing sports, reading books, and other ways to spedn time constructively generated THIS? Not…A….Chance…
But he IS “ass Shit”, by his own admission…
@ Vin
Nice link…..Chaz looks like KD Lang if you stuck an air compressor up her ass.
Stackhouse could use a little “slat reform” in the farrow-to-finish barns with the pigs, where he’d get a good hosing down of all that poo each day into the manure pits; which in turn might bring fines to the farmers for having such polluted run-off into the midwest streams of America.
No more polluting though than his postings on HCwDB.
i second the d.b. of the year.
his attitude, that is if he actually penned this, sealed the deal.
Are we sure Stackhouse is not some Skweezy Jibbs wanna-be? this has to be an act.
I can’t tell if Stack is self-loathing, in “Elder Child Cocks Listen Up”, or showing signs of bag’ purgation. Below I offer a (shallow) rhetorical analysis of his latest in free verse.
If we keep in mind the context of Stack’s rusings (Stack and his girlfriend just broke up after he found out she was “blowing FSU football players on the reg”) we understand that Stack is in a fragile and vulnerable state. He may be displacing the blame for his girlfriend’s desire to regularly suck off FSU football players, and the subsequent failure of his relationship, on himself. The Stack of late 2009 through early 2010 would only “crush” “dime-pieces”, the Stack of today acknowledges that he is a “dirtbag” who “doesn’t deserve good things from his relationships” and whom only goes for “self-promoting whores.” How rare, indeed, it is to see Stack in such a state of self-depreciation. If his latest verse is just the manifest of his current mental state, I proclaim, he is no less a douche now, then he was then… He is just a self-loathing, pathetic and broken-hearted douche… He’s a hypocrite, too.
Stack: Your girl may have fucked around on you (maybe you weren’t giving her what she needed) but I wouldn’t expect an over-man (Nietzsche’s Ubermensch) like yourself to get all emotional over it. I thought you fist-pounded the day, Stack. Today, it looks like the day fist-pounded you. boo-fucking-hoo, Stack. Get Some.
This interpretation is more than likely the accurate interpretation. The capacity to self-loathe, as Stack seems to be doing, is an inevitable characteristic of a true bag’. Bags’ have horrible self-esteem and require gratuitous amounts of make-up and costumery to conceal there feeble natures. The capacity for states of extreme vulnerabilty is inherent to the bag’.
I offer, though, an alternative and less dismal interpretation of Stack’s “Elder Child Cocks Listen Up”. If Stack’s latest verse is the manifest of a Stack who has, whether through mock or broken heart, achieved a greater awareness of his bag’ within than, DB1, today is a monumental day. If Stack’s rusings are interpreted as, actually, a concealed attempt by him to purge himself of his bag’ within through mortification than we see cultural cleansing at work.
It’s time for our fellow mocker Vin Douchal to either proffer a vinegar douche to Stackhouse or compose a new song to the legendary hackmouth.
And to thank Vin for the CHAZ Bono link. Takes me back to the Sonny and Cher Show days when she was such a cute little gal. Chaz, not Cher. Way to jump-start my afternoon slump, Vin!
The depth of Stackhousian insight never ceases to amaze me. His theory of social stratification based on such cursory attributes as sexual promiscuity and blowing coke off of dicks is primitive, but is somewhat revolutionary and progressive.
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Gone is the endogomy so pervasive throughout human history, ushering in a new era of hyper-exogamy where sexual conquests are rated by their level of anonymity, and relationships are constructed on subterfuge and psychopathy. One can argue that this new form of social structuring is the product an empathic disconnect with other living beings, brought on by various factors such as the homogenization of the social order through media sterilization and the capitalization of traditional values and social interactions.
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I argue that Stackhouse is a genius of social science. A new breed of sociologist of who’s research is conducted in the field via a grand experiment of group processes across diverse empirical settings, and on the interplay between individual and group levels of analysis. Stackhouse explores quantitatively, by becoming the experiment, the questions of causality and the effects of modernization on society.
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Suck on it Niklas Luhman!
@FreakPatriot^
Where the hell have you been hiding? Very well put.
@FreakPatriot: +1 internets to you!
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But, this near-self-awareness makes me think it can’t possibly be the fist-pumping Stack we all knew and loved.
Either it’s a ghost-writer, or he’s actually evolving; slightly.
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Nah! He’ll be back to his old ways in no time.
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And I’m not fat!!!! [wah!] Nor is my cockk an Elder.
… it just gets a Senior Citizens’ discount at the movies is all.
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everything else he said, I agree with. You go, whigga!
It seems my link doesn’t work.. Which is probably for the best of us all 😛
Freakpatriot for baghunter of the week.
I hope Dicy uses her asspear pic for her avatar.
at first I thought Dicy was bcs in disguise…. but he would of never “missed” the link
Stacky is an attention “who-bag”… he just can’t go away
Back to Stackhouse after this commercial message…
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Chas Bono is going for the John Pinnette look. She must have gone to the plastic surgeon and said, “yeah…THIS is what I’m going for…”
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And in case you’re wondering who John Pinette is, he’s a very funny fellow:
CLICK
What came first the elder child cock or the egg? And by came first I mean prematurely.
at least he’s honest about being a piece of shit douche, and not good enough for real women. i actually grew a bit more respect for him after those few sentences… but his lady looks like a man with a wig. Get Some!!
From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder
Causes (etiology) of Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
– An oversensitive temperament at birth
– Overindulgence and overvaluation by parents
– Valued by parents as a means to regulate their own self-esteem
– Excessive admiration that is never balanced with realistic feedback
– Unpredictable or unreliable caregiving from parents
– Severe emotional abuse in childhood
– Being praised for perceived exceptional looks or talents by adults
– Excessive praise for good behaviors or excessive criticism for poor behaviors in childhood
Stacky, I wonder, which of these causes, or combinations thereof, was relevant to your childhood?
To the tune of “Gloria”, the Doors version. sorry no uTube link as I’m running to a meeting
Glory-hole
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Yeah, right.
Did you hear about my who-bag? She shut me down,
She come round here, blew every hatter in town?
F*ck you bitch, didn’t have no right,
Now I gotta feel good, hit the town tonight.
Truck stop men’s restroom
They come to my stall
Foot under the wall
Swelling in my pants – then, I, say
Come and GET SOME
Then he says through the hole, oh boy
So, what’s your game?
Do you give too?
Can I fuck your skull?
Well, yer whiney voice is starting to sound f*cking bitter,
So why don’t you come over here and suck my cockk tonight!
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Glory-hole – g-l-o-r-y-hole
Glory-hole – g-l-o-r-y-hole
Glory-hole – g-l-o-r-y-hole
Glory-hole – g-l-o-r-y-hole
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I was your queen and you were my tool,
F*ck my mouth make me drool.
You rode me hard
In my mouth.
Your partner’s at work,
He’s on my ass grinding around.
Screaming in the men’s room.
Call Stack’ your bitch.
Why’d you do it buddy?
F*cking bitches – let me down,
Bitches – shut ‘em down
Now he shows me his thing.
Stuff your cockk in through the hole,
Stick your nob into my eye, yeah
Wrap my lips around your stick.
I’m gonna huh – all right, ok, yeah.
It’s getting harder – My life is racing past,
It’s getting harder – Good times will never last
Come on, now, let’s get it on.
Douchebag, douchebag, douchebag, douchebag!
Make me feel all right!
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Glory-hole – g-l-o-r-y-hole
Glory-hole – g-l-o-r-y-hole
Glory-hole – g-l-o-r-y-hole
Glory-hole – g-l-o-r-y-hole
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Keep the whole thing going, baby!
Hey Stack –
http://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/bmi/adult_bmi/english_bmi_calculator/results_obese.html?pounds=230&inches=73
I’m sorry I think stackhouse has been reading HCWDB too much. He seems to be picking up on a more general way to express himself that is more clearly understood and lacks the rave-like color of his earlier postings. Freak Patriot is right, Stackhouse is on a low ebb and it has affected his prose. Critiquing Stack and letting him read our critique is spoiling him. It’s like taking the opium away from Edgar Allen Poe. Please DB1 for the sake of the preservation of the pure dousche style that is Stackhouse you must ban him from reading this site.
Every word from this leaky anus gets more and more boring. Enough already.
She is perfect for him. I hope they live happily ever after. And their chins, too.
What can i say, I love this guy now. He’s right, he flipped me!
Stacky is truly not trying to be something he’s not. And i can respect that.
I don’t know what you all are talking about. This is a work of sheer genius. His articulation and spelling mixed in with his text chat verbosity is simply astounding. A master of etymology and wit. We all should just close up shop right this instant. Obviously after having met our intellectual superior by every known measure we are found wanting. I concede o’ master of all that is good and beautiful in this world and look forward to the day you and I can go “crushing puss” together. Like the great Someone Something said…”Fuck off douchebag!”…
Lemme show ya something!
I think I would actually pay good money to see Stacky vs. Mike Tyson (off his meds of course). I iamgine it would be a lot like watching a rabid Rottweiler flinging a chew toy all over the place.
And Stacky you’re right. “…when yall had no clue what cyber space was. Obviously no one here has any clue of modern terminology.” I remember using the first version of the web (before you crushed) when it started at CERN as a way to transfer large files (even before true ftp) between research groups. Of course someone made a porn site and then well, you have what we have now. I must be an “elder child cocks” (whatever the fuck that is) because I’m not on FagBook (I’m assuming that’s what he’s referring to). Do the world a favor and give yourself an HIV-cream pie.
I gotta fire the Stevie Wonder Stenography service that I used to type my ramblings. Let’s try IMAGINE and not that other fuccen word.
That girl has a terrible gremlin smile. Really creepin’ me out.
Self-photos, Stacky?
Total chick move, bugwit.
My cockk has more veins in it than you do, Stackbag…and it’s hosebag, not who’bag, you dumb shit…
Get Some!
lol…fukkin dicksmack…
My gravatar account is being wacky. It doesn’t like my password and when I ask for a new one it won’t work either. Ill get to the bottom of this once I remember and also happen to be on a real computer and not my phone. Untill then I will mock sans face!
Couple of ballchinians.
Damn loser….chill out! It’s not our fault your an ass and a douche with low self esteem even if you is str8 legit yo!
I think Ol’ Stackypants is one of our Muses. Between Crucial’s Antideluvian references, FreakPatriots awesome psych profile, Jacques’ sociological profile and Scrotato Head’s Glory Hole….
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I salute you all.
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Except you, Stacky. I think it’s wood chipper time for you.
All of the Stackhous(e)ian verbosity can be reduced to one little three-letter word: poo.
Like, he doesn’t even rate a four-letter word.
Unfortunately, all that poo would fill up a septic tank damn quick. Or, as I previously stated, a hog manure pit.
yep. still the douchiest douche i’ve ever heard.
Another fetid belch from the depths of a troubled psyche- yawnnnnn
When will you learn, stacky, that if you post things on popular websites, future employers are going to find you. Look, giant douchebag, I am proud of you for banging who-bags and speaking in another tongue, but people like me will be your boss one day and yes, I read this site and many others like it where I know you lurk, Stacky. The world got a lot smaller, Stacky, when the internet blossomed into its greatness today. We know who you are, Stacky, and we’ll deny your application immediately. And yes, I share this site and your ramblings across a large portion of Wall Street. I’m just one man, Stacky, but there are many more like me, giant bag man.
i missed this entire thing today…fucking responsibilities…
freak patriot’s right, by the way.
AoD
Man, this guy is enough to make me miss “He Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks”
U can’t blow coke off my dick and act like ur a classy woman.
I think he was talking to you, Dork Sack.
I’m a selfish capitalist who doesn’t think any girl should do me wrong, even when I’m out f*cking all her friends, and lieing to her face about everything I say
Scrodehouse, if a girl chopped your nuts off after that, and I was on her jury, I’d have to vote tto acquit.
If the scrote do not fit, you must acquit!
My life is shit. I get up, fight the traffic to work, go to work all day, boring job, fight the traffic home, put on some shorts, get some crappy dinner. The only joy I have, the only thing left to live for, is the remote possibility that there will be some Stackhouse wisdom posted that day. I then laugh insanely at his ranting. Quickly I click on the comments, hoping against hope that Scotato Head has composed another of his genius lyrics. (S.H. you are the Shakespeare of our time!) I laugh until my side hurts at all the other brilliant commentary on the miniverse that is the Stackhouse fan base. Depleted, I drink way too much cough syrup and collapse in bed, only to repeat the next day.
Thank you Stackhouse, for giving me a reason to live.
You know what, I like Stackhouse. His confessionals are quite insightful. And by insightful I mean looking into the gurgling of an open sewer.
I think we’ve already blown our wad here, folks. Maybe I’m just suffering from a jaded palate here, but I doubt Stackhouse can be beat as far as the yearly goes. And at the same time, can we even HANDLE a bigger douchebag? Dark days.
nobody disqualifies the old proverb of “live and let live” like Stackhouse.
Intriguing post by Stackhouse as he owns up to the fact that he’s an narcissistic douchebag with huge issues. Still, at least, he is consistent in his own warped logic and view to life and women. He will certainly win the yearly, no doubt.
@Vin Douchal…
John Pinnette is not only a very funny fat guy, but he likes the naked ladies, too.
Here’s my story… Back around the summer of 1994 we were throwing a bachelor party for my first buddy to get married. We ended up at Runway 69 on 7th Ave here in NYC. Totally nude, N/A beer. About 3 minutes after we walk in we turn and see John Pinnette. We all start cheering for him and screaming, “You go now!” in bad Chinese accents. He starts laughing and gives us a wave.
WTF is he on about?
Stackhouse can’t be for real… at least I hope not!
F*ck that, he’s lieing about reading books an’ shit, since people who read can spell. Dumbf*ck.
I gotta go crush some other internets.
Get some.
I tried the coke/cock trick with my who-bag (ok. I admit, my wife). I don’t get it–that can is a bitch to balance.
He certainly crushes many different things.
I agree with Stackhouse on one thing.
He is “meticulous ass shit”.
Get some.
The Big LeBagski
An awesome thing about the internet is that you can describe yourself however you want.
Another awesome thing about the internet is if you dig you can sometimes catch people in the act of lying/exaggerating.
Mr Beinlich – please let me know what hormones you were taking to grow another 2 inches after you reached your twenties. http://www.seminoles.com/sports/m-swim/mtt/beinlich_jason00.html
I have 800 head of cattle I’d like to get swole before the slaughter.
Someone please enlighten me, who is this Dr. Sues?
Wow…um…I guess its a good thing he doesn’t want a girl who’s not a ho? My reading comprehension in douchrish is a bit lacking. I feel kind of sad for him, he needs some therapy and a hug, followed by a swift punch to the back of the head and a kick in the ass. Get your shit straight man. Whores give you STDs, you should not pride yourself on “crushing” their “puss.”
@Vin 12:16
I got you beat, we just recently (like last month) ditched our Windows 3.1 machine in my office. We did billing on it. Yeah, we’re that hardcore.
How many FSU players did ExStack suck off to cause her to have such an inverted chin?
Sorry. I don’t hate on real woman, in fact I avoid them, I know I’m not built for them, they are for the most part good people who deserve good things from relationships.,
This is the inner child realizing that it is time to grow up and settle down. He is desperately reaching out for some noble “real woman” to rescue him from the depths of despair that he is drowning himself in over his unfaithful whobag.
He yearns for this “real woman” to say everything is OK, and to love him (and occasionally blow coke off his pecker) despite his arrogance and ubermenschness (hats off to FreakPatriot’s beautiful essay).
In short, the Stack is suffering … and I am thriving on his misery.
Does this guy realize that the Body Mass Index test is VERY unreliable for determining your true percentage of fat? Its very often wrong, and even more often has nothing to do with how healthy and/or jacked.
after seeing this post, reading what the stackhouse has to say, i truly believe that this site should be renamed to “chicks with dicks”, but it might be interpreted the wrong way, so i guess douchebag has to do.
Wow. I have a slight increase in respect for the man. So very slight. He’s still a narcissistic dumbass but at least he knows well enough to stay away from classy women.