Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Carrot

Diana heard that beta carotine was good for the skin. The Carrot heard that fake tanning would turn him a strange, ethereal glowing shade of crimson.

And somewhere ‘tween the two, the universe found dissonance.

# posted by douchebag1
7:06 am April, 15 Tits McGee said...

FIRST

Screw the White Sox… I leave mine on when I screw anyway…

7:25 am April, 15 Anonymous said...

She is so far from Bleeth. We must intervene!

7:31 am April, 15 Deltus said...

She might work in a bar or something, and he wanted to pose with her, and she is so good and kind and gracious and special and lovely and sweet and… um, where was I? Oh yeah, she was kind enough to pose with him. She regretted it, though, when she reeked of Axe body spray and fail for hours afterwards.

7:37 am April, 15 Jimmy said...

Why are people proud when they ;post first? seems pretty desperate and lonely to me, not a sign of accomplishment that you refresh the page every five minutes

7:48 am April, 15 Barack O'Bagga and The Audacity of Scrote said...

FIRST!

…shit.

7:59 am April, 15 Vin Douchal said...

The only “Sox” that matter are red ones. Especially after listening to Hawk Harrelson call a game. There’s only so many times a day one can sit through “He gone!”. What a homer

Gotta love Ozzie, though.

8:07 am April, 15 crazy-sexy-douche said...

Diana is all sorts of junior-varsity volleyball coach at Redondo Beach Union High yumminess during the day, and a bartender at Sharkeez as soon as the evening is upon us. More please?

8:53 am April, 15 Crucial Head said...

Speaking of Socks, the only ones that really matter are the Dark ones and (BCS can correct me here), the one’s modeled by this douche at dresssox.com

8:53 am April, 15 Wheezer said...

I love White Sox hottie Diana. As a White Sox fan, I nominate her to be official…..team representative something or other. Ball girl? Sure, that’ll work for me.

.

.

But what the hell happened to former Sox announcer Tom “Wimpy” Paciorek? I think he went off the deep end and started taking “color man” a bit too literally.

8:56 am April, 15 Wheezer said...

Croosh…..no. No more “dresssox”! I am still scarred from wondering “Hey, what’s so bad about bcs’ links?”

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And that was at least a year ago. (shudders)

9:22 am April, 15 Crucial Head said...

@Wheeze,

BCS’ links were like opening that one present from that one uncle every year at Christmas. You know, the one that always had a Playgirl; or extra small cockk ring; or goatse poster; or spent condoms in it. Uncle Mario would always start chortling, before bursting into uncontrollable laughter, while you sat there, crimson faced, and muttering under your breath, “Dammit… I KNEW it!!!!11!”

.

But yet, you open that damn present, year after year, hoping for a better reward.

.

.

.

What? You didn’t have an uncle like that?

10:27 am April, 15 Sorta Damocles said...

Ugh…part of Zowie Bowie in Vegas

http://www.vegaschatter.com/files/1425/zowiebowie.jpg

Apparently, I’m too stupid to know how to make a hyperlink here…..

12:23 pm April, 15 Crucial Head said...

Speaking of Playgirl, Pete Steele is apparently dead. Type O Negative was always a guilty indulgence of mine. R.I.P.

2:17 pm April, 15 DarkSock said...

Aw man…Yeah I played “Dead Again” about 100 times…but didn’t tell nobody….

bummer. why couldn’t it have been Michael Jackson that died?

Oh wait…

11:27 pm April, 15 Steve L. said...

just for Diana, i will make as many failed attempts at pretending i know shit about baseball as is required to make her spill her drink in my face.

then i will not wash my face for a month.

6:20 am April, 16 Chad Kroeger said...

I saw him on The Police reunion tour with my then 5 year old daughter. The band was really hip and she will remember it forever with the $700 dollars of souvenirs I bought her. Then again, she will sell them on Ebay to fund her condom stash when she turns 13, if my wife has the talk with her, otherwise I will sell them on Ebay to supplement the cost of supporting a grandchild.

The Paxil is not working today.

2:43 pm April, 16 Whoop-di-douche said...

I love it when douchebags resemble STING.

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