Saturday, April 17, 2010

The Double Cross

In case Soft and Gnaw Worthy Alicia didn’t notice his phat Jesus Bling, Dan the M.C. and Part Time Night Mechanic at Al’s Garage on Jefferson figured the tatt would reinforce how much he loves his Jesus and Mary chain.

# posted by douchebag1
4:02 pm April, 17 Wedgie said...

Nice hat. Life is a cabaret, my friends.

4:03 pm April, 17 Wedgie said...

A cabaret on Polk Street in San Francisco, in the case of Mr. Felcher here.

4:06 pm April, 17 Just Sayin said...

Have another cancer stick, honey – and in a few years you’ll look like Dixie Wetsworth and sound like Bea Arthur.

4:10 pm April, 17 Anonymous said...

Jesus wept.

4:27 pm April, 17 Vin Douchal said...

We’ve seen this guyliner wearing ass bandit that pretends to like women before.

Fuck off bad hat wearing douch spout. Those of us with scrote want to talk to stinky breath Maureen here.

4:42 pm April, 17 Bagnonymous said...

I’m pretty sure this is why jackoffs like M.C. Dan smoke in the first place–it’s because, once a girl sneaks off to the “smokers’ area” (out back, by the door, outside, wherever), you’ve got at least a good solid minute and a half to throw your “A-game” schtick at her. And she’s GOTTA listen to you.

.

..I mean, what’s she gonna do, ditch the smoke and go inside? No! She’s been craving that glorious cigarette for the last twenty minutes. So she stands there, outside in the freezing cold (or whatever), listening to Dan. And you know what? If you throw enough shit at the wall, some of it’s bound to stick. And that’s why M.C. Dan smokes cigarettes. Or maybe it’s because he likes sticking things in his mouth and sucking on them.

.

In any case, I’m pretty sure M.C. Dan is the #1 reason girls quit smoking.

4:50 pm April, 17 clam fist said...

You know what they say about girls who smoke. I hope in her case it’s true. She would look even better riding in my Camaro as we cruise the Walmart parking lot every Saturday night.

5:17 pm April, 17 El Caganer said...

I hope we got more pics of blondie.

5:22 pm April, 17 clam fist said...

You know the good thing about chicks that smoke? They don’t complain that my car’s a/c is busted and we gots to drive with the windows down. Sure sucks when it rains, though.

5:26 pm April, 17 Justin said...

Feet on the furniture? I’m appalled. Now he’s gone too far.

5:29 pm April, 17 doucheywallnuts said...

Assuming Jesus is paying attention, do you think he’s thrilled to know that this creation of his – which is supposed to be in “His” image (more or less) – is sporting the dual cross tattoo and cross on a chain? Did Jesus die for our sins – assuming you believe such folderol – so that this douchebag could use the the prop of his demise as a signature look to score poon?

If it fact Jesus had any interest in our activities and, dare I say, if he really existed, he would strike this motherfucker dead on the spot.

5:53 pm April, 17 doucheywallnuts said...

What’s with our avatars not working anymore???

6:00 pm April, 17 Grumpy Llama said...

I’m always impressed, DB1, but working in a Jesus and Mary Chain reference? Simply outstanding, Sir.

6:12 pm April, 17 clam fist said...

He is her gay friend.

6:35 pm April, 17 Justin said...

Damn…I finally see what the Maker’s Mark thing is about. Smokey smooth goodness! Time to stumble into the NYC evening…

7:03 pm April, 17 Euripidouche said...

i’m sure his charm includes singing a variety of classic crooners, n’sync, the backstreet boys, o-ring a-hole, all the greats.

her eyes underneath it all, are still looking for daddy, her body on the otherhand, isn’t at all particular.

7:16 pm April, 17 Deltus said...

Alicia there really, really, really, really, really does it for me. Really.

I would carry water in 10 trips uphill and make a fire to warm it just to make a bath in which I could hand wash her delicates.

8:13 pm April, 17 Whoop-di-douche said...

It appears they are performers for summer jobs at amusement parks like King’s Island or Cedar Point…or preparing to become coffin sealers with those coffin nails they’re smoking.

In fact, you might say she’s “smokin’ hot.”

Don’t the good guys always wear white hats?

8:23 pm April, 17 El Queso said...

Get that sleazy poofter away from your juicy fat thighs, Alicia.

.

He clearly needs to go shopping at Bloomingdales for acid-distressed fashion kneepads for his job.

.

And you clearly need someone to love you the way your daddy never did.

.

Now just get out your moisturizer and your flip-flops and lose the rest of the clothes but the shades and the jewelry.

8:56 pm April, 17 Johnny Utah said...

opposites do attract, the good christian boy meets the woman lois was describing to chris.

9:28 pm April, 17 fatness said...

Best part is, 20 years of chain-smoking means she’ll be dead before the divorce is final.

10:03 pm April, 17 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

Methinks this guy is coagulated smegma pudding. The Hott, now she’s fine. Deltus , I’d be dangling the buckets from my nipples. Both directions. After a wasabi enema.

The mental image of that makes me want the laumit: laugh & vomit simultaneously.

10:46 pm April, 17 DouchieBlaylock said...

She is delicious. But she needs to put that fucking cig out. Don’t be stupid.

12:10 am April, 18 Stephanie said...

She and he ain’t gonna die from cigs,they’re out from sun cancer from the tans,me boys…and hopefully sooner than later,because that leaves more of everything for me.

1:15 am April, 18 Baleen said...

She can click my Bic any day…

1:30 am April, 18 Baleen said...

Oh shit, I meant “flick”!

.

time for meds.

5:52 am April, 18 Steve L. said...

insert [myriad of things i would do] in a futile attempt* to gain access (note: for some heartbreakingly restrictive definitions of “access”) to Alicia’s cig.

*the attempt would be futile because Rob the guitar-playing hobo would butt farm Alicia’s cig away before i’ve succeeded with my endeavors.

fuck you Rob and your butt farming skills.

8:10 am April, 18 DarkSock said...

It’s the Shat In A Hat, by Dr. Goose.

.

I would have liked a crack at her Thing 1 and Thing 2 but she’s got nicotine peen on her breath. Blech.

12:42 pm April, 18 tall guy said...

There’s something quite alluring about Alicia, but leave the cigger out, girl. As for the knobwrench: pppfffffttttt! What a cocksmoking idiot.

2:03 pm April, 18 Mr. Biggs said...

Weekly candidate. Fo shizzle, yo.

2:08 pm April, 18 Mr. Biggs said...

Jesus died so douchebags could laid. Why else would he sacrifice?

5:55 pm April, 18 Denny DelVecchio said...

Please leave this devout young Christian alone. He has enough problems.

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