Friday, April 23, 2010

The Gospel of Bro

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the pool party of Gesthemane at the Hard Rock, render onto Caesars Palace what is Caesar’s Palace, and render onto the Blonde what is genetic. And be sure to slip the host a Benjamin.”

— The Gospel of Bro, 4:20

# posted by douchebag1
11:29 am April, 23 DarkSock said...

“Yeah, mack it up” thought Buffalo Beast as he shit on their beach bags he dumped in the trash receptacle.

11:29 am April, 23 Anonymous said...

That glass of white zinfandel is not really pumping up his street cred…

11:33 am April, 23 Jacques Doucheteau said...

And for Kevin so lusted after the bikini babe, that he gave his only begrudging bro, that whosover bestoweth drinks in him should not get their ass beat, but have Everclear and Jägermeister.

-Brah 3:16

11:36 am April, 23 Douche Springsteen said...

Everyone knows you hold a white wine glass by the stem and not the bowl. Très gauche, mon gars.

11:40 am April, 23 Crucial Head said...

Myrna held on for dear life as Father Ingaseous Ignitus, IV of Rehabulus passed the communion cup around the open air cathedral.

11:41 am April, 23 Jacques Doucheteau said...

And the jump-offs that deceived them was cast into the pool of herpes and chlamydia, where the Buffalo Beast and Plinky’s mom are, and shall be mocked day and night forever and ever.

– Revetainton 20:10

11:43 am April, 23 Crucial Head said...

“Pillows?” thought Anurag Dikshit to himself as Cloris furtively slipped the jelly dong into his slobbering anus.

.

.

“Those aren’t two pillows!!”

11:49 am April, 23 DarkSock said...

No, Candi; you wipe from back to front.

11:50 am April, 23 DarkSock said...

wait…strike that…reverse it….hell I don’t know. I’m still trying to get the toilet seat thing right.

.

Dicy? Medusa? HELP!

11:52 am April, 23 Claude Douchenburg said...

Bro gets a call from his main man Jesus in the finger phone.

11:52 am April, 23 Crucial Head said...

Yeah, where the hell is Medusa anyway?

.

.

Did she take the Buffalo Beast oath?

11:55 am April, 23 Jacques Doucheteau said...

You’re piecing together smatterings of bible verse without doing your research db1. Misquoting the Good Book is a despicable act and and affront to God. Here’s how the REAL Psalms 23 goes:

.

The hott is my Def Leppard; pour some sugar on me. She maketh me to lie down in pink pastures; she leadeth me beside the fishy waters. She restoreth my boner; she leadeth me in the paths of nuzzle crevasses for fuck’s sake. Yea, though I slobber though the valley of of the shadow of boobage, I will fear no boyfriend; for my Glock art with me; my rod and my staff they comfort me.

11:56 am April, 23 Bagnonymous said...

…okay, the bikini blonde’s got a really cute body, but I think she needs some giant sunglasses. Stat!

11:59 am April, 23 Claude Douchenburg said...

G_d said to Bro, “Crush me some blonde.” Bro said, “G_d you must be putting me on.” G_d said, “NO!” Bro say “RIGHT!” Bro say “where you want this crushin’ done?” G_d said, “On the pillows behind you douche! What? I got to tell ya everything?”

my apologies Mr. Dylan.

12:01 pm April, 23 Wheezer said...

Kristin is grossed out and realized where she saw Brothabag Jordan’s stepfather…..

12:03 pm April, 23 mr.reeve said...

Because drinking wine at the pool in Vegas is so hardcore you gotta do the MC Hard Ass face!!! YYYOOOO!!!!

12:04 pm April, 23 Wheezer said...

Waitafuccenminnit…..is this also King D with a new tatt, or just a disciple?

12:06 pm April, 23 Chad Kroeger said...

My economic and sociologic mentor Thomas Malthus posited that the inevitable sexual procreation between species, and arithmetic or geometric explosion of the Earth’s population as a result of odd comingling would lead to what has been called a Malthusian catastrophe. Notice I didn’t say Richard!

The catastrophe would be an unsustainable level of agricultural and other products necessary for life to continue above a subsistance level. Oil. Bye Tucan Sam.

The more poo I see as the gene pool appears to collapse from steroids, manorexia, etc. leads me to believe that all I learned was false. These fags crush and die and use condoms. No more Genghis Khans.

Just dudes like this who may save the world with their inability to reproduce or support their offspring.

I will not hypothesize that douchebags can save the world because I have to start drinking. But it is booze for thought.

@dudes & Dark Sock

Fun run on the wide jokes yesterday.

12:06 pm April, 23 mr.reeve said...

Crucial Head…..Strummer! Nice pic. My all time favorite.

http://theproblemwithmentoday.com

12:09 pm April, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Only a douchebag can look emaciated and have a gut at the same time. Pull your shorts up dumbass.

@Croosh

Medusa’s in Italy with her Bersaglieri making up for lost time. Doubt we’ll hear from her for another week or so.

12:26 pm April, 23 scrotum pole said...

Seen here are the last hold-outs, living it up in the jungle compound of Jonestown, Guyana.

They’ve been drinking the Kool-Aid since 1978 and have developed an incredible tolerance to strychnine.

12:54 pm April, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Vinnie sure seems to be enjoying his first day at remedial divinity school. The blonde is just there to make sure he stays on that day’s busy schedule.

8am Jesus Juice Gulp Off

9am Sodomy: It’s not Just for the Rectory Anymore

10am Deny, Deny, Deny

11am How to Pick a GOOD Alter Boy

12 Lunch

1pm How to Plan Your Legal Defense

2-8pm Buggery Made Simple

1:09 pm April, 23 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Yo yo yo- my drawers is down and this here tranny is planning on un-tucking his thang and tapping my ass!! So all you haters can kizzzzzzzz my my nigga ass

PEACE!!!!

1:16 pm April, 23 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.

Hebrews 13:2

Check the wings on his back

5:38 pm April, 23 Deltus said...

“Yea, and the Broheim said unto them, let the Bros amongst you without wicked game cast the first shot of Jager onto this who-bag jump-off. And the Bros gathered ’round didst not want to lose face and show unto the other Bros that his game wasn’t tight. And so the who-bag jump-off was saved, and she didst go down on the Broheim. And it was good, and the Broheim didst get some.” — Brah 18:32-37

4:56 am April, 24 Euripidouche said...

@jauques

and let’s not forget this passage from the book of dude,they’re on to me;

And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy bottom; and it shall be, when i wilt ease myself onto a broad, thou shalt dig, therewith, and shalt arch back and cover that which cometh from me: For the words LORD my God spoketh in the midst of thy came….

5:15 am April, 24 doucheywallnuts said...

I didn’t realize Cuba Gooding, Jr. liked white chicks and that he drinks rose, aka “blush” – wine, which is the perfect choice for pussies.

5:33 pm April, 24 Rick said...

Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.

Hebrews 13:2

Check the wings on his back

4:25 am April, 25 Steve said...

“Yea, and the Broheim said unto them, let the Bros amongst you without wicked game cast the first shot of Jager onto this who-bag jump-off. And the Bros gathered ’round didst not want to lose face and show unto the other Bros that his game wasn’t tight. And so the who-bag jump-off was saved, and she didst go down on the Broheim. And it was good, and the Broheim didst get some.” — Brah 18:32-37

9:02 am April, 25 Deltus said...

Yeah, Steve, I think I read that somewhere before… oh yeah, I wrote it in this very comments thread TWO DAYS AGO!

Dude. Seriously.

11:52 am April, 25 Mr. Biggs said...

Wow. TheDirty ripping off HCwDB again. DIdn’t he make fun of DB1 a while back? By his own douchey logic doesn’t he owe DB a blowjob or something?

2:01 pm April, 25 Steve L. said...

my liver bled at “render onto the blonde what is genetic”.

my liver bleeds so my heart doesn’t have to.

7:58 pm April, 25 DarkSock said...

Brah?!?

2:08 am April, 26 Matt said...

Brah?!?

7:44 am April, 26 Patrick said...

my liver bled at “render onto the blonde what is genetic”.
my liver bleeds so my heart doesn’t have to.

4:34 pm April, 26 Dave said...

my liver bled at “render onto the blonde what is genetic”.
my liver bleeds so my heart doesn’t have to.

7:06 pm April, 26 Sean said...

Wow. TheDirty ripping off HCwDB again. DIdn’t he make fun of DB1 a while back? By his own douchey logic doesn’t he owe DB a blowjob or something?

7:22 am April, 27 Rick said...

my liver bled at “render onto the blonde what is genetic”.
my liver bleeds so my heart doesn’t have to.

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