Wednesday, April 21, 2010
The Jed Palette Cleanser
Two Jed the Creepy Wankscrote images in a row is simply too much mutantbag for one Wednesday.
So lets cleanse the palette and appreciate that Ubiquitous Red Cup ran the Boston Marathon on Monday.
Or if your palette cleansing veers towards the reflective and introspective rather than the comedic, have some Reflection Pear. If you stare long enough, you will find revelation regarding man’s existential plight. The fruitless pursuit of meaning in a world of unattainable pear.
Upon reflection, I have decided pears are my favorite fruit.
Well, other than Ricky Martin, that is.
Ahhh…ass pear and reflected chest pear. My day is done. And by done I mean it’s nap time after the rub.
Just who does she think is going to clean that mirror?
I volunteer.
I chipped another tooth on my monitor. My dentist is also a big fan of ass pear – coincidence?
Her farts are like that of le Mistral blowing lavender scented joy through the ancient vinards of the Rhone valley in the south of France where May flowers blossom.
Excuse me miss, I think someone slipped a masshole into your drink.
Upon deep reflection, I find that my mind is soothed of the scars that befell it from looking at Jed. Also? Reflection Pear is HOTT! DAMN, girl! I would fist-fuck a crateful of horny, incontinent porcupines whilst naked, hopped up on meth, and slathered in pheromone-based porcupine bait just for the chance to lick that bathroom she’s in clean twice a week for a month.
Looks like an Ass Pear ran the race, also
A side of ass pear to follow my apple muffin is a great way to start the day. As I stared into the reflection of the deep cleavage abyss I thought, “BOOBIES!”
Reflection pear works similarly to my valium when combined with ill advised co-abuse of Canadian whisky, the years first frozen ice treat and a rimming with bj from Mrs.Kroeger.
Vin Douchal, Sir, you just made my entire day. Perhaps my entire month. I am indebted. And by indebted I mean in my bunk.
Reflection pear. Ripe. Me? Hungry.
@ Vin:
You should’ve renamed that photo “badonkadonk.”
Ahhhh……. All is well in the doucheverse again.
Whom ever invented platform stripper shoes should win a nobel peace prize. Where do you keep finding these pears? geesh.
“The fruitless pursuit of meaning in a world of unattainable pear.”
So very bleak, so very postmodern.
Enter the Douche.
Kenyan marathoners are expressing concerns that the URC runners will put their worldwide marathon dominance in jeopardy.
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BTW, the Ubiquitous Clear Cup runner died of heat stroke in the fourth mile, when temperatures in the costume were recorded in excess of 135 degrees F.
If only she would come install my mirrors.
Silly Stripper: coke only sticks to horizontal mirrors!
@ End the Haberdouchery 11:15 AM
Not for nothing, we consider “Masshole” to be a compliment.
Any true Bostonian knows the Marathon is pretentious asshat-central. Fuckwits and snobs running around in their complimentary “volunteer” jackets clogging the licensed establishments with orders for Grey Goose and tons of water (Lord forgive me for paraphrasing Stacky.)
The real contest of the day is to start drinking at 8:00 AM “first call” before the 11:05 Red Sox game until last call at 1:00 AM. Tuesday was a sick day.
And Reflection Pear was a hat trick. Great bum and two shots of her boobs. Heaven.
unattainable pear
I suspect this particular pear can be had for a fistful of dollars.
@ Wheezer 11:02 AM,
is your dentist hot?
… sorry.
mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the assiest pear of all?
if i’m the mirror, i’ll tel her anything she wants to hear.
well, except if she asks me to compare her to Ass Pear la Plante. that would cross the line.
i’ll TELL her.
i miss telnet.
Wow!!! Reflection Pear made me Reflection Spew all over the place.
It’s “palate” cleanser. Though in the case of return of the Jed-i here, I could understand your usage as well. Ugh, too much percocet today.
She actually works for the most expensive glass installation company in New York…. “At GlassPear, our rates are as flexible as our installers!”