Friday, May 14, 2010

Average Dudes Who Think Strippers Like Ed Hardy

They don’t. And they don’t.

# posted by douchebag1
11:24 am May, 14 The Know said...

Below average.

11:26 am May, 14 Bag Margera said...

I’m not going to lie. I would buy an Ed Hardy article of clothing, just to have those beautiful tanned melons rub up against me.

Although it would be the cheapest thing I could get… and I would burn it immediately after she’s out of site.

11:27 am May, 14 Douchesquire said...

I’d try out her cock holster. I would bot buy Ed Hardy to do so.

11:28 am May, 14 Douchesquire said...

that was supposed to say “not buy”…damned hungover fingers…

11:30 am May, 14 Bag Margera said...

As for this guy, I’m hoping something similar happens to his own skull.

11:31 am May, 14 Jacques Doucheteau said...

More like a cock scabbard, that.

11:36 am May, 14 End the Haberdouchery said...

Good for you, Gary. Good for you.

11:37 am May, 14 ashfish said...

Sigh, dude, she would have posed with you if you were simply wearing a red shirt and jeans. It’s ok, we all make fashion mistakes. This guy is the anti-douche. “I’m just a nice guy who wants to take a picture with a pretty lady with nice boobies.” Don’t we all?

11:46 am May, 14 mr.reeve said...

Yes, he is a Hick-bag from Kentucky. Look at his pants people. He is trying to be cool and wanted to take a picture with this latina hot as well.

Douche!!!

11:46 am May, 14 Bag Margera said...

You guys are right. Fuck no, I wouldn’t buy no Ed Hardy. Man those titties can make a guy say stupid things. Might as well go to a strip club and pay for a couple dozen songs of knob bumping. That would be cheaper.

11:50 am May, 14 bigphatnotadouche said...

She is paid to pose. I’d buy Ed Hardy from the street vendor at the Nascar collectibles swap meet to be able to do a lean in and smell the stripper perfume and have some of the glitter from her boobies stay on my arm.

The arm would be used for fwapping when I got back to my house.

It’s all good.

11:58 am May, 14 Chad Kroeger said...

He had a promising acting career on “The Office” as Dwight.

12:00 pm May, 14 Paul Muad'douche, the Kwisatz Scroterach said...

This picture is personally kind of scary. While I have never owned any clothing like this dude is wearing, he looks amazingly like I did about 10 years ago when I wore facial hair. Seriously, if you ever saw one of my old pictures, you would be shocked by how much I resembled him. Was I a stonebag back then?

12:01 pm May, 14 Anonymous said...

Carmalita’s avian pubes could be used as a strong argument for female groin shave.

Jethro’s existence can be used as a strong argument for tightening incest laws.

12:01 pm May, 14 tall guy said...

Yeah, his pants say it all don’t they. Also, being from Sydney, Australia, please educate me on the hickbag from Kentucky comment, by which I mean please add to my existing arsenal of putdowns for rude’n’rural types.

12:08 pm May, 14 mr.reeve said...

Hick-bag = hick/redneck douchebag.

I need pear and a beer.

12:23 pm May, 14 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

Bring on the penicillin baby!

12:29 pm May, 14 Vin Douchal said...

It appears that strippers prefer polka dots and fishnets to Hardy gear. Gotta give ’em that.

And, I’m sure she’d rather take a pvc boot up her cooter than this guys schvantz.

12:35 pm May, 14 the motley douche said...

It’s not Friday until we get some pear and a pvc boot up her cooter reference.

And we’re halfway there, gents…

12:50 pm May, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

This looks like the most disappointing stripper convention ever held in a Shoney’s parking lot off of I-95 somewhere near Rockville.

12:50 pm May, 14 Troy Tempest said...

SgtScroteStain nailed it – this chick is bleeth central.

She probably has the personality of a chihuahua.

1:25 pm May, 14 massengill said...

@ tall guy

Kentucky is one of the United States and it is full of hicks. In the States, we call “hicks” people you call “bogans.”

2:25 pm May, 14 Euripidouche said...

in america, you can insult anyone, by calling where they live, by block, street, subdivision, town, city state, etc

-tucky, just add the suffix and consider the other person insulted…

of course, if you call it kentucky-tucky, it will probably blow over the head of any and all inhabitants of kentucky, so while this construction might be mildly ironic, it is so ineffective it is never considered.

strippers like money, really an ed hardy shirt is only as bad as an ed hardy wallet, its what comes out of it and how often that matters. insertanalogyhere

say what you want about this douche, he has just become the mack daddy of his world of warcraft cohorts, they will ask him for hours what it was like being so close to an unrelated fertile female.

3:59 pm May, 14 Dr. Richard Goesinyou said...

Clem noticed wild goings on in the parking lot of his local Waffle House whilst in route to Sunday church. So he decided to pull the Dodge D-50 over, have a sniff then drove at a high rate of speed to the strip mall church where he proceeded to fwap in the cry room.

That is all.

5:06 pm May, 14 Whoop-di-douche said...

I’d like to see those dancin’ 7 year old girls on the internet wear THAT get-up instead of the boy-shorts with a ruffle and bras in black and red, with fishnet arm gloves.

9:55 pm May, 14 Steve L. said...

i’m sure that, 10 minutes before this pic was taken, Tom was busily scouring the town for any clothing store that carried Ed Hardy.

and boy, he found one just in the nick of time. that’s why he’s so proud.

2:53 am May, 15 lucious lupus with a d said...

yes, crystal is the great equalizer

5:43 am May, 15 Dicy said...

This is just kinda sad. The guy is pretty lame, and in his attempt to be cool he became douche. Sad day.

6:02 am May, 15 Douchble Helix said...

At least he didn’t buy that Hello Kitty t-shirt hanging behind him.

Is she wearing fluffy slippers?

So, how’s that work? By a shirt for $100+ and get a little ‘dance’?

12:24 pm May, 15 MILLS said...

what a goofed up loser! seriously this must be something from beauty and the geek where the beauties try to give the geeks a makeover in a deperate attempt to give them back some dignity but alas as they say u can put glitter on dog shit but itll still look like shit. I bet the deluded loser actually thought she was into him jus cos she excepted his whiny begging for a picture when really it was a sympathy picture, he probably framed it in his bathroom where he wanks to it for all his worth, the worthless prick. id love to laugh loudly in his face till he got the point of how pathetic he is with his half arssed attempt of being cool. if he wanted to look “douchey-cool” he should have gone the whole way like this guy…

http://celebslam.celebuzz.com/2010/05/miami-whores.php?bfm_index=10

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