Thursday, May 6, 2010

Caption This Pic

Joey had been lecturing for years at various Ballys Fitness Centers on the dangers of the rare but disfiguring arm toxin known as “Stairmaster gangrene,” but Kelly seemed particularly moved by his plight.

# posted by douchebag1
12:50 pm May, 6 TheOneSalmon said...

One tattooed hand in the air, wave it around like you have no hair.

12:56 pm May, 6 Crucial Head said...

Otto prepared to holster his razor after shearing his hair in preparation for his new job as a rodeo clown.

12:56 pm May, 6 Joey said...

I love his George Jefferson hairstyle!!!

12:56 pm May, 6 Crucial Head said...

^^That would be a Viking Yogurt Rodeo Clown.

12:58 pm May, 6 Crucial Head said...

Meanwhile, Buffalo Beast worked herself into a sweaty lather while conjuring silent mocks on the treadmill.

1:00 pm May, 6 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Dropped on hard surfaces several times as an infant, Joey had an oddly shaped head and nerve damage in his right arm; but this in no way deterred Kelly, for she knew that deep down, he had a heart of gold.

1:01 pm May, 6 Crucial Head said...

The barium dribbled down Henry’s forearm after he safely removed the barbell from Sophia’s colon.

1:01 pm May, 6 I R A Darth Aggie said...

A rare form of blood poisoning, which taint’s the mind and scrote.

1:03 pm May, 6 KJW said...

Jeff Hardy!!!

1:03 pm May, 6 Crucial Head said...

Water cooler talks would never be the same with the work-out crew after Cornelius proudly displayed the fecal remnants from his auto-fisting session.

1:06 pm May, 6 Crucial Head said...

“Honey look at the wall.”

.

“See it?”

.

“There it is… my vaunted ‘dog swallowing donkey jizz’ shadow puppet.”

1:06 pm May, 6 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Ellen had at first been hesitant to join the “Spin-smear” class at the local 24-hour fitness. But when it was announced that Flea would be the special guest papster, she simply couldn’t resist.

1:10 pm May, 6 Crucial Head said...

“Yeah… she’s wearing my pink sock… so what?”

1:11 pm May, 6 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

The spa promised “your every muscle will be relaxed and revitalized” and by God, Hector was going to make sure they lived up to that committment, even if it meant meant destroying Ellen’s taint in the process.

1:15 pm May, 6 Crucial Head said...

Rebecca quickly realized her mistake in signing up for a Personal Tainter.

1:17 pm May, 6 Condouchious say... said...

is that pro wrestler jeff hardy? that’s pretty much his in-ring attire, which begs the question: does he get a nottadouche pass? in the past we mentioned leniency for wrestlers as there is a ‘performance’ aspect to their appearance and behavior. but what happens if the in-ring and outside-the-ring persona are one and the same? i kind of want to give him the pass just b/c if you watch some of his matches you’ll see him do some bat-shit crazy stunts.

1:20 pm May, 6 Vin Douchal said...

♫ Pulled his fingers outta her shnizz and called it macaroni ♫

1:24 pm May, 6 mr.reeve said...

Whoever he is he can be heard singing:

Come my lady

Come come my lady

you’re my butterfly

Sugar.baby

come my lady you’re my

pretty baby ill make your legs shake

you make me go douchey!

Crazy Town-bag is working out in his wife beater and jeans. If that doesn’t say tool I don’t know what does.

1:24 pm May, 6 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Kelly was new to the gym and unfortuneately was yet unaware of Joey’s reputation as an anal date-rapist.

1:37 pm May, 6 mr.reeve said...

I find it hard to keep my concentration type sometimes when I look to the left of these posts and see “Ass Pear La Plante” and “Hall of Pear”. That’s because I love me some pear.

1:40 pm May, 6 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

KJW and Condouchious for the admittedly sad observation that this is in fact Jeff Hardy of professional wrestling fame. Had to look him up via Bing to confirm but the tatt sleeve and receding hairline are a perfect match.

.

His mother, though embarassed to be caught trying to hide her ritual post-aerobics shart, is happy for him nonetheless.

1:42 pm May, 6 Vin Douchal said...

I’da liked seeing this guy’s arm much more sliced out of a dead bear’s stomach

1:43 pm May, 6 Doucheasaurus Rex said...

Indeed that is Jeff Hardy. Is his notadouche pass revoked since he is about to go on trial for trafficking meth steroids and pain killers?

1:46 pm May, 6 E-blo's Last Thought said...

After staying at a Holiday Inn Express, Kelly was pretty sure she was a victim of false advertising.

1:46 pm May, 6 Unit B said...

Damn, Tommy Lee sure has let himself go. Says Marie to herself, “Wow, my mom really thought you were hot once.”

1:52 pm May, 6 tall guy said...

“though smiling on the outside, Kelly secretly wished her towel cover extended beyond its present state.”

1:54 pm May, 6 Condouchious say... said...

i revoke it since there is no difference between his in-ring appearance/persona and his real life…except for the drug trafficking charge.

1:56 pm May, 6 Bag Margera said...

Because of Joe Skidztain’s tattoo completely covering his arm, he was unable to notice that his giant, inner-facing baby-blue wristwatch was cutting off his wrist circulation.

Fortunately Hannah Welsh was there to notice his freakish cranium had disgusting purple veins throbbing out of it, and got him to loosen his watch before it was too late.

1:56 pm May, 6 Chest Meatsteak said...

Despite spreading necrotizing fasciitis, Dieter refused to take off his prized Swatch that he won at the annual Billy Zane Impression tournament 50+ division in Kalamazoo

2:02 pm May, 6 Chest Meatsteak said...

After repeated warnings, Jasmine finally broke up with Chaz after coming to the gym right after work as a Leprechaun semen extractor

2:10 pm May, 6 DarkSock said...

“I’M THE FIRE-SHARTER”

2:11 pm May, 6 Chest Meatsteak said...

After the press died down following his daring rescue of an Axe factory, Leo Procucci AKA “Bile-Hand” relied on appearance fees at local businesses to fund his growing meth addiction

2:13 pm May, 6 massengill said...

Bally’s? That looks like the “gym” at a Holiday Inn Express.

2:15 pm May, 6 creature said...

yeah, they call me Fister… what of it

2:15 pm May, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

“Wanna smell Vince McMahon?”

2:17 pm May, 6 creature said...

let me tell ya honey, I administer elephant suppositories… it’s an important job, it pays well & the fringe benefits… whoa! fuggedabowdit!

2:18 pm May, 6 creature said...

BVG… winner!

2:19 pm May, 6 Chest Meatsteak said...

” Cindy, Wait a minute girl, you mean I didn’t have to give myself leprosy to get a part in Ben-Hur on Ice”

2:27 pm May, 6 massengill said...

Here is a short list of professional wrestlers that get a nottadouche pass:

“Superfly” Jimmy Snuka

Captain Lou Albano

The Iron Sheik

The Honky Tonk Man

The Road Warriors

Jake “The Snake” Roberts

Mr. Perfect

“The Model” Ric Martel

“Ravishing” Rick Rude

Ted DiBiase

Jeff Hardy? Fuck no.

2:29 pm May, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

@ creature

.

Thanks, but I actually winced when I typed that. I love the WWF, and have ever since Bob Backlund was butting heads with Don Muraco. (Except during the late 90’s during the reign of Scotty 2 Hotty/Grand Master Sexay, when I had to turn it off because my doctor told me I was getting too much gay.)

.

But then I remembered that Vince MacMahon makes more money in an hour than I’ll make in my lifetime. So I’m sure he can take it. (ba-rum bum.)

2:30 pm May, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

And yeah, I did mean the WWF. Fuck you, penguin.

2:34 pm May, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

@ massengill

.

You’re gonna give Rude a pass and leave Hacksaw Jim Duggan off the VIP list?

.

You’re dead to me.

2:40 pm May, 6 Crucial Head said...

Thumb Wrestler Jeff “The Claw” Hardy demonstrates the championship form that has eluded him ever since contracting Ectrodactyly.

2:41 pm May, 6 Crucial Head said...

Brutus The Barber Beefcake?

2:42 pm May, 6 Crucial Head said...

^^If nothing else, for the sweet name. Almost as good as Crucial Aloysius Head.

3:41 pm May, 6 Captain James T. Douche said...

Jeff Hardy does not get a pass. The man is a certified douche.

4:22 pm May, 6 DarkSock said...

“Yo, Vin! Miss Johnson on treadmill 6 is runnin’ a quart low!”

7:03 pm May, 6 Vinny Scumbaglia said...

“The Glocker”

–VS

7:07 pm May, 6 canada said...

the wrestler Jeff Hardy

7:54 pm May, 6 Douche Scroets Scrociety said...

Maybe it is just the angle

But douchebag’s face and arm look mangled

Forgive me if I stop and stare

But has scroteface got toilet seat hair?

7:54 pm May, 6 Whoop-di-douche said...

Damn, that Jack Nicholson does get around.., tatt-parlors, workout-rooms, and pickin’ up Five Easy Pieces while wearing a wife-beater.

8:12 pm May, 6 Wedgie said...

Joey is just showing Kelly which fingers he uses to wipe with, on those occasions when he chooses to.

Usually, it’s Tuesday.

8:45 pm May, 6 creature said...

I can guess what you had for lunch… got my technique down & everything

9:36 pm May, 6 ehcuodouche said...

If you’re working out at Bally’s to pick up chicks, it’s a turn off to have the grease from your lunch calzone on your wife beater. It’s also not good for any unfortunate HCwDB commenter to accidentally see that because it’s a leading cause of Keyboardus vomitus.

Just saying.

10:12 pm May, 6 Steve L. said...

long after going out of business, the manufacturers of the Emergency Hair Loss Compensation Kit finally discovered its only customer.

10:14 pm May, 6 boone doggle said...

“….so that was a hattori hanzo sword.”

10:22 pm May, 6 Baleen said...

.

When Dusty Rhodes wants to make the Mello Yellow move back at the hotel, you’ll start to wonder what the fuck you got yourself into.

10:32 pm May, 6 Wheezer said...

Back to the captioning…..

.

.

.

.

“YO! Dis is wut fuccen happens when you mooks don’t wipe yer sweat off da fuccen machines when yer done widdem!”

10:39 pm May, 6 creature said...

“yo, they tell me I can help ya wid dat prostrate thing”

1:13 am May, 7 I hate to say it... said...

…but that’s notadouche. Professional wrestlers get passes. And that is Jeff Hardy.

6:06 am May, 7 DarkSock said...

“THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!!!”

6:52 am May, 7 Phil said...

The Charismatic Enigma.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Hardy

10:39 am May, 7 Douchey Smurf said...

He’s not a fire starter.

12:30 pm May, 7 doucheywallnuts said...

I have no caption, but this is the dude who played, “Big,Oily Bohunk in 16 Candles.”

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3656556288/nm0438127

2:56 am May, 8 lupus john bijjahnn said...

“wtf”

12:43 pm May, 8 Spiked hair said...

Dude, Thats one of the Hardy brothers, Jeff hardy

7:19 pm May, 9 Stephanie said...

“hey you, smell my fingers”

2:15 am May, 12 Andrew said...

Oh hey that’s no douchebag. That’s former WWE Champion/current TNA Wrestler, Jeff Hardy. He’s awesome …. well except for the drug problems but yeah lol.

1:02 pm May, 13 Don said...

I’d fuck me

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