Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Donkey Douche and the Art of Groin Shave Reveal

There are many douchebag pretenders to the act of Groin Shave Reveal (GSR) in presence of tasty suckle thigh hotties at the beach.

There is only one Donkey Douche.

All other douches can only cower and quake with their pube trimmers and hand gestures. For D.D. sets the standard by which all others are shorn.

# posted by douchebag1
2:02 pm May, 5 Anonymous said...

Damn those girls are Hailey and Ceil, popular stirppers and drug addicts from the Chicago club scene. That Douche is from what i can tell “Dark Mark” i may be incorrect on that one. either way he’s a douche, they are pretty hot but they are stripper hoes for sure…

2:07 pm May, 5 Teddy Tendergass said...

@Anon,

You should click on the History of Donk at this site on the left hand side of the page – Hall of Scrote.

.

DB1 has been all over this developing story like pee in a horse’s ass.

2:08 pm May, 5 scrotum pole said...

Angela from the office, getting her groove on with the donkster.

2:11 pm May, 5 Scrötinger’s Cat said...

Meanwhile, in the rear, Buffalo Beast serenades his fellow beach-dwellers with songs from his favorite album Silent Shout in sign language.

2:13 pm May, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Dollars to donuts that Donk is makin’ that face because those shorts about 7 attoseconds from hitting the ground because his 1″ mutton dagger ain’t providin’ much support.

2:14 pm May, 5 Bag A said...

Donk! Donk! Donk!

2:14 pm May, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

What kind of asshole does a GSR when it looks like he used a chainsaw? Forgot who I was talking about. Carry on.

2:15 pm May, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Is this what it looks like when the Donkster tries to have a thought?

2:19 pm May, 5 scrotum pole said...

Who knew, Buffalo Beast might be a girl.

2:20 pm May, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Chick on the left must be pretty skanky if her qeefs can make the Donk’s nose wrinkle. You’d think he be used to get blasted in the face after being in prison and all.

2:21 pm May, 5 Crucial Head said...

“Mutton Dagger.”

Heh heh.

2:32 pm May, 5 Ponderonymous said...

has anyone considered what this looks like from behind? I mean, his shorts are a good 5 inches lower then where they are supposed to be. His ass has to be hanging out in the breeze. That’s indecent exposure. And inhumane. And douchey. And he makes me want to make wallets out of baby seals. I hate him. Really, I do.

-Ponderonymous

2:34 pm May, 5 Crucial Head said...

Donkey Douche squints as he expels a turd

His GSR leaves the exit unencumbered

But when these girls

Catch a whiff they’ll hurl

Then return to snorting coke off wang that’s festered.

2:35 pm May, 5 Vin Douchal said...

I’ve had it. That’s it. I refuse to look at dude’s area’s below the naval. The gay is flowing too heavily around here.

Ed McMahon: “With a spank , a shank and a tough queer named Frank”

Carnac the Magnificent: ” How did Donkey Douche spend his day’s in a jail cell?”

2:35 pm May, 5 mr.reeve said...

Nothing good about this picture. Two blondes are pole skanks (in Vegas they would be working down town) and dude is almost showing off his man clit. DD, looks like he smelt the dog poo under his Ed Hardly flip flops.

2:37 pm May, 5 Crucial Head said...

My limericks are rusty and need some work

But that doesn’t mean that Donk’s not a jerk

He’s now free from jail

Where his anus did inhale

A number of cockks which made him smirk.

2:46 pm May, 5 Chad Kroeger said...

I’ve got nothing but disgust and now my BBQ is ruined. How can I cook beef when I know it has herpes.

2:48 pm May, 5 Vin Douchal said...

The Donk is worthy of mocck

But this shot is too close to his cocck

The promise of blow

On him down they will go

Yeah, they’re buying his line of schlocck

2:55 pm May, 5 Crucial Head said...

The blonde on the right was Donk’s ex-cellmate

With whom he did voraciously fellate

Blonde’s dong he did tape

Before classic prison rape

Elated that he didn’t have to masturbate.

2:58 pm May, 5 Crucial Head said...

The Donk has patiently served his time

But one more strike and he’ll do a lifetime

So instead of selling blow

He’s become a gigolo

For tranny’s that are well past their prime.

2:59 pm May, 5 Mr. Biggs said...

Coming up next – GSR championships. How low can you go?

3:06 pm May, 5 Vin Douchal said...

That spot on the beach did display

A grease spot that won’t go away

Wasn’t SPF fifteen

Then that glistening sheen

Floated out killing fish in the bay

3:14 pm May, 5 doucheywallnuts said...

I’m a little disappointed that DD would be photographed with a woman who is sporting a gunt.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gunt

3:21 pm May, 5 Just Sayin said...

Notice how both slags are in the elbows-back, knee-forward car-show-model pose? When did every bimbo in front of a camera lens start doing the next-step-escorting look?

4:06 pm May, 5 Crucial Head said...

Donk’s shorts are searching for his ankles

To make it easier for him to receive anal

From his probation cop

Who’s strapped with a mop

Now he’ll bleed for weeks from his stank hole.

    2:59 am May, 6 DarkSock said...

    ^Crucial rhyming “ankle” with “stank-hole” = win.

4:08 pm May, 5 Crucial Head said...

Donkey shaves his groin with a blade

That’s meant to help his arse get laid

But from these bleeths

He only receive

An incurable case of the AIDS.

4:10 pm May, 5 Crucial Head said...

I am sorry. Diarrhea of the fingers and I cain’t hep mehself.

.

.

I haven’t spent as much time at this site recently due to work. Now I’m feeding my addiction whiles I gots da time, y’hear?!

4:49 pm May, 5 Hong Kong Douchey said...

Donk is definitely one of those guys you can look at and think to yourself, “Yeah, that guy’s an idiot. And he’s a douchey idiot at that.” I think this is the look that he gets when he’s trying to decide between the #3 and #4 Value Meal.

4:53 pm May, 5 Douchie Howser M.D. said...

His belly veins — à la Caput Medusae — indicate that Donk’s been Donkey Punchin’ his liver via a few too many cold ones…

..much as he was so oft Donkey Punched whilst in the clink.

Incidentally, Caput Medusae is latin for “head of Medusa,” which is fitting, as the thoughts “head” and “Medusa” go together nicely.

5:30 pm May, 5 Horace Dangleballs said...

A douche was about on the sand

With two bleeths who were very grand

The Ubiquitous Red Cup

Told him, “Double Up!”

But he ended up fucking his hand.

7:39 pm May, 5 Douches Wild said...

We need a periodic dose of the Old Donkaroo to remind the fold what it means to be a DOUCHE. He is our Haj to The Dome of the Mock.

7:49 pm May, 5 Justin said...

Seriously, I tip the old cap to the Donkster. You sir, are a legend. Maybe the biggest douche ever.

7:54 pm May, 5 Stephanie said...

The brown of his shorts match the shit he’s dishing. He’s making poo poo faces,what? did one of the girls fart?

7:57 pm May, 5 Troy Tempest said...

@Crucial – it’s all good d00d.

I haven’t been around much because I am working on a computer where typing into this site is nearly impossible.

Although – tonight iti s fast and responsive….

how odd.

Too bad I’m too fuccen drunk to make sense of anything…

Damn you 7 year old Havana Club rum!

8:20 pm May, 5 Whoop-di-douche said...

Donk, Donk, Donk, Donk of

Hurl, Hurl, Hurl, Donk of

Hurl, Hurl. Hurl, Donk of HURL.

8:27 pm May, 5 Crucial Head said...

Groin shave reveals his narcissistic vanity

Which will lead to eventual middle-aged insanity

When he realizes he’s broke

And from drugs will soon croak

He’ll take solace in admiring his sagging man titty.

8:29 pm May, 5 Crucial Head said...

Poor ol’ Donk’s life is headed for ruin

While trouble with the law is a brewin’

His life’s highest note

Making the Hall O’ Scrote

His poor life choices he’ll surely be ruein’.

9:08 pm May, 5 Sad Party Karaoke Robot said...

This looks old. Where are all the prison tats?

9:12 pm May, 5 Sad Party Karaoke Robot said...

For anyone who his new here. The Donk got busted for distribution, and on his way into court tried to bribe the cops. Well, I think you can figure out how that worked out for him.

10:15 pm May, 5 Baleen said...

If only the beach was named Dunkirk and the year was 1940.

10:25 pm May, 5 Vin Douchal said...

For your late night enjoyment:

Shelley from College Humor.com’s America’s Hottest College Girl 2010

Commence fwapping

12:17 am May, 6 Steve L. said...

well, the Donk did do his part on International GSR Day.

from now on i have no choice but to cringe in abject agony whenever the United Nations names yet another International Day of… something

just how many international days can you make up anyway? there are only 365 days in a year, for crying out loud.

2:08 am May, 6 tall guy said...

Yeah, they’re a bit ordinary those girls. Especially the one in blue. She looks like trouble.

2:30 am May, 6 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Certainly this beach hath many stories to tell

Of many a loose woman and ne’er-do-well

But the concentration of herpes and crabs

Be infecting so many sweaty abs

That even Donk here can not stand the smell

2:45 am May, 6 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Now that Donk’s colon resembles the filling of a knish

And that each fart he launches is followed with a “squish!”

You can view on Google maps

The extent of his prolapse

Being the receiver of a gang bang on his puckered starfish

2:47 am May, 6 Jacques Doucheteau said...

And fuck you Vin (again).

3:27 am May, 6 Douche Scroets Scrociety said...

Do your shorts hang low, toss your gonads to and fro?

Do you a little hott, do you like a skanky ho?

Do you like an over-the-shoulder-perky-nana-boulder-holder?

Do your shorts hang low?

5:56 am May, 6 Anonymous said...

Did the Donkster a.k.a the Cockster a.k.a the Flopster a.k.a the “Barrel of Poo”

Swalow a toilet seat in his confused state of mind as he was attemptin to read instructions on his power drink labeled “shake well”?

hmmm… looks to me like a shitter seat in his lower abdomen

6:06 am May, 6 Deltus said...

Either one of those hotts just farted, or the Donkster just achieved a low level of sentience.

7:05 am May, 6 Claude Douchenburg said...

Wow, this has been a very educating mock thread for me. I have learned a descriptive new word “gunt”. I have learned to recognize Caput Medusae. I have learned about taping dicks in prison and other things to numerous to mention. But most of all I have learned about Shelley at Texas A&M. ‘Scuse me fellow mockers, I am going to print out a color pic and go lay down on the sofa.

8:31 am May, 6 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

It this really a groin SHAVE reveal- or is it genetic? Does the Douchebag lack the genetic makup to have hair in the neither regions? Does the Douchebag look like a tiny little bald baby?

8:34 am May, 6 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Donk’s case still meanders through the courts, continued until next month. The wheels of justice move slowly, kind of like donk’s thought process.

8:51 am May, 6 I R A Darth Aggie said...

That isn’t GSR.

His pubes simply migrated to his face…

9:25 am May, 6 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Geez Croosh on a roll. Nice to see the judge let the Donk out of the hoosegow long enough for a day at the “beach.” Beach in quotes because Chicago has beach in the same way Nebraska has ocean. Go get ’em Donk!

10:18 am May, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

Ahhh, epic thread today, gentlemen. I’m languidly sipping coffee and trying to avoid more paint scraping. I’m actually glad to see ol’ Donk show up again. Donk never gets old (well, I mean mocking him doesn’t). Donk always amuses me. Donk reminds me of every stupid thing I hate about Chicago and how happy I am that I left that stinking hellhole in my dust. Donk embodies true Chicago–stupid, knuckle-dragging troglodytes trying to act cosmopolitan when they’re better suited for working the corn fields outside of Peoria.

.

@ Dr. Howser 4:53

*wiping off my chin* What? Did someone say my name? Sorry, dribbled a little something there. Oh, it’s coffee.

.

If he flexes any harder, he’s going to shart, if he hasn’t already. Maybe that explains the distance of the crowd behind him, Buffalo Beast is herding them to safety.

.

@ Chris in ‘Baghdad 9:25

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! I could never figure it out, myself. Yes, a stroll along Lake Michigan can be enchanting. But to have this whole “beach culture” thing in Chicago just baffles me. People out there sizzling on towels like it’s Miami, whooping it up and drinking themselves stupid like it’s South Padre, and frolicking in the waves like it’s Huntington. Seriously. It’s a giant, swampy muckhole, polluted to deadly levels by the BP refinery in the middle, the runoff from the Loop and the chemical plants on the Indiana side. 7 days out of ten the beaches are closed due to bacteria levels being dangerously high, and the natural species have all been wiped out by both the pollution and scummy foreign predatory species. I wouldn’t dip one toe in that sand-ringed latrine if there were money involved. I can only hope Donk has plenty of Immodium AD for himself and the ladies. I imagine a day of splashing in those waves causes serious bowel eruptions. Oh, look at his face, it’s started already.

2:27 pm May, 6 creature said...

nobody douches better than the Donk

4:22 pm May, 6 Mr. Biggs said...

DB1, we need to make a rule. No more three GSRs in a row. The regulations henceforth call for an ass pear any time you have back to back GSRs.

8:42 pm May, 6 Whoop-di-douche said...

Hopefully DB1 won’t throw us an unshaved male asspear when he gets in one of his “I think I’ll make them puke” moods.

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