Friday Haiku
Lohan on Twitter,
Parties with pudwacks at Cannes,
Crotch itch spreads like fleas.
Rave just gets started:
Axe, poo stench soon permeate
Stack’s parents’ rec room
— Wheezer
Basement in Belfast
Contains a halloween whore
And Depeche Commode
— Anthony LaBaglia
hair flows, open shirt
high hip leg hole panty pose
sees only douche naval
— Claude Douchenburg
Not quite “heroin
chick.” It’s more like meth and Red
Bull diarrhea.
— Sergeant Scrote Stain
Long haired posing Brit
Wants Parliament; asks for “fag”
Douche calls for rent boy
— Horace Dangleballs
Those thighs haven’t seen
sunlight in years. Donkey jizz
has high SPF.
— Bagnonymous
Chad the douche savant
Has never lost a game of
minesweeper. Not one.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Lindsay is a skank.
Chain smoking baseball bat legs.
The herp is strong here.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
Cigs and nip reveal
Lead me to puke in my mouth
Just a little bit
Unsanitary!
Please put your pants-suit back on,
and pull down that shirt!
Stackhouse crushes “vag”
of slim ladyboy in hose:
Cam on, lefthand poo!
Carrie Bradshaw bleeth,
you smoke and you are skinny;
Okay, we get it..!
Looking like Fergie
She ain’t very pretty.
Cooter on fire?
Pulling up his shirt
while trying to snap a pic;
choad overloads brain
Lucy in the STYE
with Douchewanks. Picture yourself;
a strain in your gut.
Mirrow pictures gay
Just ask b-boy Jose
He lusts for Ramone
These two just need a five iron Elin woods style. Her to. And she needs penisillin fast.
It’s Freaky Friday:
the basement is slammin’ and
closet is empty.
Ricky Martin
Smells like my fartin.
Why does he try?
Lance Bass in background
thinks that she look fabulous
but prefers the dude.
Carly Simon’s niece
doesn’t have aunt’s talent, so
goes straight to Skanktown.
Choad’s pubic mound is…
smooth as a Porche’s bonnet,
Fergie poses on.
^ looks
Is that gold razor-
blade bling on Chad Nipster’s chest?
Is this retro-Douche?
Rave just gets started:
Axe, poo stench soon permeate
Stack’s parents’ rec room
GSR wrecks day.
Tongue kicks the day while it’s down.
Booze will flow tonight.
.
Lindsay is a skank.
Chain smoking baseball bat legs.
The herp is strong here.
.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
Stylist shaves the hair
off lower half of Wookie.
She likes the results.
Bubba with the hot
excited by his tummy
must be brain damaged
Plenty of hairspray
on the counter in front. Should
trade for cockroach spray.
Pet Shop Boys Oh-Ten
Back to gay up radio
Zero sales so far
Those thighs haven’t seen
sunlight in years. Donkey jizz
has high SPF.
Basement in Belfast
Contains a halloween whore
And Depeche Commode
Dressing room ho-down:
Tad would rather photograph
torso than touch chicks.
Has no body fat
Hey, good on you Nancy Boy
Go succk a fat cocck
Yellow box of gold
Guarded by 2 douche leprechans
No lucky charms here
Shirt demands cufflinks,
douche demands a fist beating,
not in that order.
hair flows, open shirt
high hip leg hole panty pose
sees only douche naval
Imitation of
Angelina in “Gia”
fails in every way
Long haired posing Brit
Wants Parliament; asks for “fag”
Douche calls for rent boy
Sloppy messy room
All that shit hanging around
Photo’ing themselves
Lance Bass, Nik Richie
Pose before big anal scene
Hershey Choadway 3
Not quite “heroin
chick.” It’s more like meth and Red
Bull diarrhea.
frosted hair douche smiles
pantless lady passes gas
bag collects samples
Chad celebrates his
hairless chest, lactating breasts
from hormone treatments
Horace 7:31 FTW. Epic
Le douche, tres bien
Showing Euros can shave too
Too bad their chicks don’t
Mirror ain’t crack’d yet
but out flew cam, X, coke for
Rodd, Tad, and Harlott.
Ex “Punky Brewster”
Star regrets trying cocain.
Lars sees his window.
I’m not feelin’ it;
Horace, Vin, Franklyn rockin’…..
maybe I’ll just read?
Backstage, opening
night. Now you know why Broadway
is slowly dying.
Chad the douche savant
Has never lost a game of
minesweeper. Not one.
light reflects on wall
yellow box holds the good shit
bad shit roams freely
Two wrongs don’t make a
right. Two retards and a blonde
sear my retinas.
“Groin Shave Reveal, eh?”
Asks Choad after the AceCast
Here’s to Carolla
Producers, board op
Do shit behind Ace’s back
At AceCast Central
Not yet as orange,
Cheeto-Man’s young bro in back
shares preferences.
A new I-Phone app
Can shave and photo the groin
It may not catch on
Bobby pics progress:
five more estrogen shots and
boobs begin to show.
White letters announce
the show, “Inexcusable”
Now Keir is queer douche.
Great for Facebook now,
but interview in ’15
doomed to crash and burn.
Y’all know club soda
gets dog poop stains out of your
carpets? Need lot’s here!
Lohan and gaybags
pose for a pic. Lifetime of
bad luck to follow.
There are not enough
bottles of douche water
to restore my sight.
^
^
Might work better with “Used lot’s here.”
Off off off Broadway
of Lohan new production.
It’s not Rent but Bent.
Skinny Model and
Ab Reveal Douche pose make me
Wanna vomit on them
Gaybga taking pic
marvels at how he and skank
have same size meat sacks.
First post and front page!
Today is a good day to
die! Or buy lotto!
Bruce bought P90X
Lance in the back screams yes!!!
Bruce likes penis
The dance troupe from Rent
Celebrate their positive
HIV results.
And Buffalo Beast
Turns his back in mute disgust
His silent mock… felt.
Lindsay fears Warrant
Chad revels at lockup thoughts
Neither get their wish
call made to make up
“cover up bad zebra tatt,
& herpe sore on vag”
dammit fuck dammit
Jiminy shit hack o’fuck
missed haikus again…
Ludacris McCockk,
nice haiku at 8:15.
Bloodwork results: FAIL.
no meat on this chick
only stuffed inside her
by those holding blow
In presence of hott,
Douche wants to compete with her
brazilian wax.
have you heard latest?
Lindsay can kegel magnum
let’s drink warm champagne
Breaking news: Lindsay’s
arrest warrant is recalled.
Can’t recall bleethness
Epic haiku page
good work, sorry I missed out
I made snot rocket
Once a movie star
Now petri dish for douche jizz
Will pass away soon
Two awful douchebags
And one chick who loves herself
Get me out of here
@ Vin Douchal 7:37
Thank you, sir. I guess I’ve been watching too much BBC America.
I’d like to co-min-
gle his torso and her thighs
just for hell of it.
Hazy, foggy base-
ment room with dope on table
matches mind on drugs.
If this is clubbing,
a Neanderthal with clubs
would be useful here.
Chicken thighs on chick
make tummy beef on bull seem
striped with marbled fat.
Slutty skank pose makes
groin shave reveal seem silly
like otter at play.
Their menu of moves
matches the spread on the ta-
be of treats quite well.
Her tiny cigar-
ette could light a giant ass-
gas methane ‘splosion.
Two is a groin-twat
party, three adds a laugh-track
to cellphone porn-fest.
the after party
of people begging for film
roles they will not get.