Friday, May 28, 2010
Friday Haiku
Cheap flight to Cancun,
Ken’s shades “blu-block” poverty,
Angie’s tortadas: perky.
Now I know why its
called Montezuma’s revenge.
Grieco virus breeds.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Mexican rulers
Considering a big fence
To keep out the douche
— Bagnonymous
Make love, not war BOOBS
Tune in, turn on, drop out BOOBS
Groovy, far out BOOBS
— Wheezer
His giant wrist watch
Solemnly reminds me that
It’s time to get ill.
— Crucial Head
American spunk
Fleshing out a peace agreement
Ernesto says no
— saulgoode42
Its Jamacian Day
Lake Elsinore bombarded
With 4:20 Douche
— Vin Douchal
Whats up with pre-10
start? Barely time to get my
game on. Now Mock begins.
Now I know why its
called Montezuma’s revenge.
Grieco virus breeds.
Make love, not war BOOBS
Tune in, turn on, drop out BOOBS
Groovy, far out BOOBS
Mexican nomad
Walks on the beach peacefully
Thinks these two are douche
Her aqua floaters
Don’t purify his skid tats
Gonna be seasick!
His pinky finger
Points at the only good thing
Within this picture
Mermaid Ariel
made siren call in the Gulf,
caught a live grease spill
Even the locals
know to run away in fear
from double duck face.
The giant mountains
almost obstruct the view of
Tiger Woods’ mother
All I know is this:
Douche really will be “hung loose”
When I kick his nads.
Local to the left
Brings his haz-mat to this scene
Quick! Cover these ‘bags!
Mountain in background
Really giant sea creature
Up for feeding time
Iradium shades
Train his eyes not to wander
To peasant men’s butts.
Those mountainous mounds
So lush and so enticing
The hott’s are nice too.
Early haiku means
new syllabication rules?
Five-seven-seven?
(pending edit, of course – Boss clearly distracted by BOOBS)
Couple attempts to
Remain calm despite being
Cthulhu’s dinner.
Shaman seeks to clean
sands of his homeland. Voodoo
dolls will be tried next.
BP workers race
To stop this latest grease spill
Bad Press from oil leaks!
The dog breed “poodle”
not derived as retrofit
for doodles on poo.
Manuel tries to save
his village from douche and bleeth.
Spikes mixed drinks all day.
Tequila sunrise:
She must be drunk to wanna
eat his fuccen worm.
Mexican rulers
Considering a big fence
To keep out the douche
His giant wrist watch
Solemnly reminds him that
It’s time to get ill.
First Exxon Valdez
Then Deepwater Horizon
This Choad greases both!
Arizona says,
“Fine, we’ll take your illegals–
but you get these f*cks!”
Shaman sings the songs
needed for chupacabra
release. Gore to follow.
*last haiku SHOULD have read:**
.
.
His giant wrist watch
Solemnly reminds ME that
It’s time to get ill.
A new luchador
Mascara Pudtastica
Steel cage full of poo
Arizona’s Law:
Must be this round to enter
Mexico keeps douche
“Melting pot” culture
means I’d like to see these two
stewed in hot water.
Export BP’s fix
‘Top Kill’ seems appropriate
Send mud down his pipes
American spunk
Fleshing out a peace agreement
Ernesto says no
Poncho lurks behind
Eyes his next kidnap victims
But they are worth zilch.
Surf’s up Shaka Douche
massive swell on cleavite’s chest
but not douche’s pants
Challo! My name is
Inigo Montoya. You
are a fuccen douche.
Mayans missed the date
that the world will end. GET SOME
better math skills guys.
BP oil spill reaches Mexican coast
What washes up alarms cleanup crew
worse then imagine
This “couple” is the
reason why the rest of the
world hates our culture.
Third Teton in back:
Al Bundy likes that for dancing;
shoves shoe up Bud’s ass.
bolsa de duchas vaginales
She will survive in
her aqua float device if
he don’t pop ’em first
Federales say
Could have had him any day
But he was just gay.
Messed up syllables,
now I’m distracted by BOOBS.
Time for motorboat.
Douche paid big bucks for
tatts from local artists. So
what does “puta” mean?
Boobies tatts douchebags
Kissy lips hair gel douchebags
Don’t come home douchebags
Jose eyes these two
Will capture – paint like zebras
For the Cancun Zoo.
Who would tat up such
pure gibberish? Perhaps he
is just dyslexic?
Buffalo Beast sports
Large hat to shade from the sun
And muffle his mocks.
Yea, they smile now
But Miguel dons all their clothes
And scurries away.
Their faces look like
They just ate some poi. Or it
could be bad Porch Beef?
Seargent Slaughter chin
Bag lady looks disgusted
Pinky points to rack
A new fashion trend
Demonstrated by Ramon
Wear all that you own.
Pablo in back thinks:
“Este gringo es un choad.”
And he is correct.
.
Boobies, large yet firm.
Boobies, make the world go ’round.
Boobies, I like them.
.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
Locals are enraged
cruise ship left trash on their beach.
AXE makes for good blaze.
Hott is really just
A “humammitarian”
Feeds milk to orphans.
Is that a colored
pinata behind his head?
Just swing bat for him!
Drug mules pose for their
last pic ever before Juan
decapitates them.
Turquoise mushrooms bloom.
Nuclear disarmament.
Punch douche in the face.
Global chesticles
Hurricane alert down south
Milk storm on the way
“The porch beef tacos
are very good today. Try
‘special’ sauce on them.”
Cabo San Lucas:
Home of Arches at Mam’s End
Pacific meets boobs.
Jamacian hit squad
Ready to lop of his head
Hold boobs for ransom
Vegetation on
hill in back is denuded.
Douche Force is strong here!
WAIT WAIT GIMME A MINUTE HERE
Looks like kissy lips,
but they’re just blowing out the
sand after 69.
Her boobs say, “Oh, yes”
HIs pose states, “I am a dick”
Tatts ask,”Please kill me”
Federales test
Chest cannons on invading
Guatemalan force.
Old regs bring da mock,
haiku numbers gettin’ swole;
hundred in an hour?
Paco wander’s by
Hoping no one notices
His garment fetish.
Sorry, one too many syllables
Looks like kissy lips,
but they’re just blowing out sand
after 69.
Plinky’s Mom face-down
Behind them in the distance;
Protects beach from oil
ahhhh I got nuthin
Its Jamacian Day
Lake Elsinore bombarded
With 4:20 Douche
I would stick my hard
Peninsula into her
Sea of Kotex… what?
The DoucheCabra
Clutches close his writhing prey;
Will soon gorge on milk
Await money shot
Plinky’s mom jerks off Sasquatch
He wants more than her
Her boobs are so big
Their gravity is pulling
Iwo Jima near
Vacationing in
Cancun – locals notice that
She has cans and poon.
Border Patrol plan:
Repulse illegal crossings
With Douche/Bleethe picket
His cheap sunglasses
Make ZZ Top just want to
rename their great tune
The mountain beyond
Sees her twin tetons o’ milk;
Slinks away jealous
Pillowy bosoms
During hurricane season
Shelter from the storm.
These two have no clue
they are soon to be stars in
Tijuana Donkey show.
.
.
(I know last line is six but Boss fucked up too.)
Starving locals come
Drawn by the smell of fresh milk;
Domos la leche
^ @ myself
.
Switch Tijuana with Cancun
(now it is five)
Tonite she rides him
Thus is proved BP’s theory;
Topkill smothers oil
These two have no clue
they are soon to be stars in
Cancun Donkey show.
Plinky’s mom breaches
And hungrily eyes next meal
Milkshake with a turd.
I’d splash tartar sauce
on her fish taco–no, wait–
on her boobs instead.
I know this one thing:
She was made for tit-fuccen;
Dignity Be Damned
Quetzalcoatl
wants to feather his serpent
betwixt teal tatines
Hang Loose is his hand
sign that he’s havin’ trouble
with his bowel movements.
Just look at the toys
He found in his Crappy Meal;
For kids under 3.
Douchebag doesn’t know
Mexican tattoo artists
Use strychnine based ink.
Looks like kissy-lips,
but they’re really fellating
invisible cockk.
They are not drug mules;
She has an actual mule
Between her teats, though.
Haughty couple pose
While Darksock aims his speed boat
For the hopeless shore.
New hangover cure:
sharing tortilla fart smells
on crowded beaches?
She leans left to fart,
they both whiff the smelly air.
Beans for lunch? Why, yes!
What was I thinking?
‘Burrito,’ not ‘tortilla’!
I am but a shell.
100?
100!!
Holy crap, Wheezer!
Two fart jokes at the same time!
Our vulcan mind-meld.
Good thing I know an
Admin – furtively delete
Wheezer’s stealth bogart.
Yes, Bagnonymous,
we are thinking alike, brah!
Blesséd are her boobs.
Wheezer hits hunnert
MUTHUFUCKA is perhaps
but a shell? Ha Ha!
Comment box is back!
Epic haiku threads like this
shall not be silenced!
Mexicans peddle
their wares all day for table
scraps from white-trash puds.
“I’ll bet you swallow
first” she said right before the
donkey blew its load.
Stars and peace signs on
boobies. Graffiti and skin
cancer on chin sack.
Rose Colored Glasses,
make Mexico look like hell,
bleeth look like Satan.
Everyone wears hats
to block out the sun, except
these stupid gringos.
He was tanning all
day while she was sucking off
a hotel bell hop.
boobie Boobie boob
Boobie Boobie Boobie boob
Boobie Boobs boobie
Giant brown mamma-
ry and aqua-tits are smooth
foils for seat-oats hair.
Little finger point-
ing to big tits indicates
thumb beef erection.
Peninsula with
one brown boob holds own against
twin-tits and two twats.
Black wifebeater and
aqua swim top go head to
head on flat to round.
Bodacious douche and
curvaceous blonde may do more
beach damage than oil.
Restless natives roam
the beach, discover douche and
hott are toxic spill.
Two kissing goura-
mis on a tropical beach?
“No comprende, Jose.”
Jumbley nice boobs,
Big knockers, fleshy funbags,
Nice jugs, spurt spurt spurt
boobitty boob boob
sun ra’s ghost in the background
and furthermore boobs